To shoot the sodding birds in the garden?

[Salmotrutta]

I have access to many relatives with gun licences.

Birds are little feckers who shit on the washing and tweet loudly thus disturbing my sleep.

They decimate my flower buds and, thus, reduce crops of cherries, plums etc.

Bastards.

Lol Salmo, sorry we must have a different sense of humour

dangerrabbit -

It totally depends where you are and what birds kinds of birds they are.

It is illegal to allow your shot / pellet / bullet to land beyond your boundary if it means that it will land somewhere you do not have shooting rights so essentially if you have a normal garden in a residential area you will probably be breaking the law by letting off a gun and the relative who owns it would probably loose their gun licence. In addition, if there are other properties nearby you also run the risk of a ricochet, potentially endangering someone which is a very serious matter.

Also, all birds are covered by the protection of wild birds act, many species such as corvids , pigeon etc are allowed to be shot under the terms of the 'general licence' if they pose an immediate danger to crops / farm animals etc. if you were to shoot or harm a bird for crapping on your washing (regardless of whether it was covered by the General licence or not) then you would also be breaking the law.

Also, songbirds are in huge trouble so regardless of legalities I think YWBVVVU to shoot anything but magpies, crows, pigeon, jays etc.

Garden birds are in decline due to loss of habitat, cats, magpies and other predators. Where I live we have the silent spring with no birds singing, and felines kill so many that we have no birds at all now. Join the RSPB.

Sense of humour fail.

Bit of a violent MN weekend towards living creatures. What with the political party canvasser Feck Offs, cyclist hit & runs, spider squishing & bird shooting. Something nasty spiked in the Easter Chocolates maybe?

Sense of humour fail indeed MsAdora

Well I'm glad to see that I'm not the only one that doesn't get the 'humour' of this thread
Maybe you should of put it under Chat and not an actual AIBU?

I'M NOT ACTUALLY SHOOTING BIRDS.

Alright?

Ignore the OP, she is a well known goady fucker.

I know, you've said before and I understood it the first time without the use of capital letters.
I'm just saying it's an unusual topic for humour

Thanks usual

Why do you keep putting those emoticons RL?... if you don't find this funny?

Because I'm laughing at the nature of our conversation rather than this actual thread

Fair enough.

OP I find it funny :)

AuntieDee butter your chooks up with a few mealworms.
I'm sure I coaxed mine into laying again that way.
Except the cockerel.
Never had a single egg out of that fucker

Ha ha TBW - yeah the cockerel is pretty useless. They are however nature's way of keeping the meat fresh - hens for eggs, cockerels for roasting ;)

Varya, so shoot the cats?

Bad dragon.

I'm glad I posted the same link as above (Friday -I blame the drunk thread) on an innocent hunt for a teddy thread as a suggestion as to what to give the little one instead. Got a few raised eyebrows.......

Oops. Hahahahah!

Oooh, a chance to use my head-tilting turnstone pic! Are you feeling quite alright, OP?

Gerund!

"I'M NOT ACTUALLY SHOOTING BIRDS."

I've been grossly misled.

I ate pigeon the other day. It would have been a good salad (some good crispy bacon and a tasty dressing) except there must have been a whole bag of rocket on there.

Get your proportions right is my advice if you're planning on shooting pigeons for salad.