To shoot the sodding birds in the garden?

[Salmotrutta]

I have access to many relatives with gun licences.

Birds are little feckers who shit on the washing and tweet loudly thus disturbing my sleep.

They decimate my flower buds and, thus, reduce crops of cherries, plums etc.

Bastards.

There's a fucking woodpecker in my back garden
Not for fucking long

Does anyone realise how many feathers there actually are on a pigeon?

Rancorous Cat got one which had been sitting on a low fence - god knows how as she's usually much too stupid to catch things - and there was a positive cloud of feathers ... a cloud, I tell you

Pigeon meat is lovely with a bit of bacon in a salad. You don't even need to pluck them, you just snip open the breast and pull the fillets out.

Rancorous cat

You think you hate wood pigeons? No you don't, not until you've had one of the fuckers go into a BMW airhead engine and spray your leg with guts, feathers and shit. Or even worse, hit the wind deflector and spray guts, feathers and shit INSIDE YOUR HELMET.

And then there's collared doves fucking on the windowsill, shitting on the car and trying build nests in the letterbox. Cunts.

I live opposite a church and there are pigeons, seagulls, crows and jackdaws. Small bird by the bucket load and blackbirds everywhere. I have been woken at midnight by fecking pigeons and 3 am by tawny owls. Robins are lovely but very noisy. This in the centre of a town! I'm fairly certain it'd be quieter in the countryside.

Feathery yobs they are.

Thing about doves is they look all sweet and biblical and stuff.

But they have weird beady eyes...

I think OP, you should get some night-vision goggles, borrow a rifle and get the bastards very early in the morning. No problem from the RSPCA then!

I quite fancy some night vision goggles anyway.

Even without shooting birds.

Not much wrong with my aim Frusso

Scarecrows are too freaky.

My next door neighbour shoots pigeons with an air rifle. Go on blast the little feckers. More points for protected species.

Omg scarecrows!!!!(runs and hides)!!!

When we moved here 7 years ago we had a back garden full of lovely, tweety, gobshite birds and no cats. We now have 4 cats and no birds. The cats are dickheads and swing from indifference to adoration to blind hatred of you within a three minute period. But still better than pigeons everywhere.

YABU - what is wrong with people?! Laughing emoji They are birds ffs!
They belong in the outside - you know, nature and all that.

I would shit on your washing too if I knew you had an attitude like that!

RL20 - I live in a very rural environment.

Nature is no mystery round these parts.

Then what's the deal ? It should be expected, right?

Not relevant but I had pigeon breasts for lunch last Tuesday because the last portion of venison had been taken.

My Mum was enjoying watching a blackbird flying to and from the bird feeder in the garden. Right up until the point where a big f off bird of prey swooped and flew off with it. Cannibals.

Umm, it's a jokey thread RL.

I'm not really sitting here taking pot shots at our feathered friends and shouting "Take that suckers"...

My dad used to go shooting a lot when I was growing up and we often ate pigeon, rabbit, hare etc. Eve

All the things that seem to be "trendy" nowadays in fancy restaurants.

Lighthearted bird killing thread Salmo.

Of course Sparkling!

Nice to stir the pot a bit.

Some birds are nice.

Surely someone has posted this song already:
m.youtube.com/watch?v=yhuMLpdnOjY