AIBU to want to know your Family secrets (light hearted) or not

[99pokerface]

Four years ago we found out my uncle was not my grandads

Nana was having a op and was dosed up to the eye balls she very old any way and just kept repeating the baby's not his you know he looks nothing like him I was 4 months gone before we were wed

My uncle is the first and their has always been hushed coversations and dark clouds surrounding uncles birth
Tbh were all very dark looking and my uncle looks more mixed raced than black

I also have a relation who was a maid in a house who fell pregnant by the son of the house. It was in Ireland and she was put in an unmarried mothers 'home' and her baby would have been adopted and she would have been locked up doing laundry for years but her widowed mother went down and demanded that they hand over her daughter and grandchild and she took them home.

She wasn't allowed to return to work but carried on meeting up with the son on the sly and got pregnant again. This time her mother wouldn't take on the baby and she was adopted but she got her out of the laundry again. Because of her bad reputation she couldn't get domestic work and could only get work agricultural labouring. Apparently the only women who did that sort of work were 'fallen women' so the men who worked alongside them thought they could do what they liked to them and they were raped and sexually abused. She had some more children during that time who were adopted but she never admitted that to anybody even on her death bed. We have been told that despite the brutality and awful things that happened in the laundries in fact in some ways they were preferable to the alternative in the outside world.

Anyway, this man, a widower, had 3 kids and no money and needed somebody to look after his children or he would lose them so he asked her to marry him so he would have someone to look after his kids and he wouldn't lose them. For her that was of course preferable to what she was doing although it was an arrangement of convenience for them both. But they fell in love after they got married and had several more children and a very long and happy marriage. It's nice occasionally to hear a story like this has a happy ending.

I'm glad my situation of my sister being married to my ex husband isn't uncommon according to some posts here. I never tell anyone as it's far too embarrassing to admit!

There is a secret that I doubt I will get to the bottom of.
My uncle was in the army since a teenager, rising up through the ranks. He came out of the army in his 50s but never settled anywhere.
He alsways seems to be in places where there is trouble soon after: Syria, Libya, Lebanon etc.
he is quiet to the point of just being odd and has missed many family occasions including his dad's funeral, apparently on holiday.
We always wonder if he is a spy or an arms dealer or something but if he is we will never know. There is definitely something...

My MIL told me that she'd refused to let DHs dad have any contact with him while telling DH all the time that his dad wanted nothing to do with him. He hates his dad, never wants to find him.

She told me a load of other stuff as well, like how she knew he was being abused by his step father, but couldn't do anything to stop it. He doesn't know she knew. He thinks she only found out when his step dad died.

I've not told him the truth of what she told me, but he can't understand why I dislike her so much.

My dad was married before he married my mum, and he had two sons. He's in touch with the younger one (my half brother) but the elder one is persona non grate with my dad and I'm not allowed to ask about him. He wasn't even informed when my dad had a near-fatal heart attack. I wish I knew why I'm not allowed to ask about him, but if I ask it will cause a HUGE family row.

I feel weird knowing I have another brother out there, who is married with two daughters (and one granddaughter) but I don't know what he's allegedly done to be an outcast.

I did not read it as you mocking Feminist!!!!

I didn't either feminist. The thread is lighthearted or serious.

DH's mother's father was married to his father's mother.

I am the only person in my family I think that knows this, but one of my close relatives (now deceased, but I did know him well when he was alive) was quite possibly gay. He had an uncommon surname and I stumbled across a newspaper article from the 40's where he and another man were accused of indecent activities with one another on several occasions. It was headline news in their little town, they were tried and both admitted to it. He later married and had children, so I don't know if he was gay/bi/experimenting or something else. I feel really quite sad for him, but have kept it quiet from family purely as his children are living and I think would be upset by it.

Forgot this...a great uncle, then aged in his 70s, married a 16-year-old barmaid. It was in the News of the World. My grandad had to hide the papers, so that my grandma (whose brother it was) didn't see what had happened. I don't think she ever knew.

I need to be really careful about this outing me but my MIL who has just made my life hell by reporting me to social services, completely malcious, I've just found out helped her peadophile nephew cover up his crimes!

Luckily he was caught elsewhere but made me feel sick to my stomach, especially after trying to have my child taken off me :(

Another one here with an 'uncle' who turned out to be my cousin. I was 37 when I learned the truth. The whole village knew but I didn't, and I felt like the village idiot when I found out.

DH had a great uncle who tried to marry his own aunt in the 1920s. She was about 5 years older than him. There are lots of photos showing them as a couple. He bought her an engagement-style ring, which was passed down her side of the family. Neither ever married, but we suspect he bought her a house to live in, and visited often; at least, he did until the two sides of the family fell out over something - probably their unhealthy relationship!

Nowhere near as exciting some of these, but the man named on my dad's birth cert. as his father was away fighting in the war at the time of his conception.

My real grandfather was allegedly an American or Canadian soldier based over here.

And all for a pair of stockings according to mad Auntie Susie.

Not family but my ex next door neighbour was much older than us and came from up north. Never got to the bottom of why he moved south until his wife died and he was terminally ill & wanted to get in touch with his real family.
He hated his first wife & was relieved to do national service in WW2, a single army colleague was blown up on the battlefield so he swapped identities with him, moved south with his sweetheart and they lived over 50 years as a married couple using the names Mrs and Mrs Dead Army colleague. His son from first marriage was found and told he eventually forgave his Dad and they became quite close in the last 5 years of his life, I think he had other children from the first marriage who were not so forgiving.

Me and DB don't have the same dad. Only found out last year apparently it's a bit of a mystery.

DD2's dad was in jail when she was born. She's only two so not so much a secret yet.

My DPs father had an affair, whilst DPs mum was pregnant with him. The affair was with DP much older sister and also resulted in a pregnancy. So DP has a nephew/half brother only a few months younger than him.

A friend and I were walking home one night & thought we'd been followed. We were a bit freaked out, but once we got home safely, we thought nothing of it. Several years later, she learned that secret services had been following her for some time, with a view to recruiting her

We have a sister/mother too. Except that grandad was still dad :(

Gran was pregnant with uncle when she got married. Can't remember why it came out - can only assume that perhaps I was coming to the age when I could to the maths!!!

Got the impression it was common during the war

We also found out that a family member had been prosecuted for sexual assault after someone spotted it in the daily mail no less

my nan went into service as a young girl came back shamed and had a child (a boy) my great grandparents adopted him and raised him at some point he went to live with his biological father my nan was locked in her room my granddad fell in love with the girl in the window rescued her and married her (seriously romantic)

because there wasnt much difference in ages between nan and granddads first child and nans secret child granddad invited him over to be part of the family for birthday parties etc years later he was introduced to me and my mom confessed who he was years later again my nan was dying and they told him "moms dying" he didnt go and see her thinking she was just his adopted sister who he hardly knew after she was dead someone asked him why he didnt see his mom before she passed away? it turns out he never knew she was actually his mom no one ever told him he was almost 70 years old and he never knew i felt so sorry for them both it must have been awful for her living with this secret and awful for him finding out how he did

chipped so was my grandfather. Banged up in Mountjoy for a while by the Black and Tans!