Mils

[Pyjamasandwine]

I am a nice mil. I adore my dil. I had a nice mil. I adored my mil. Please tell me aibu to think this is common? Who has a nice mil. Who is a nice mil? Who gets on with their dil?

I love my MIL, adore her. She's having a tough time of it right now because my FIL is just starting chemo for bowel cancer but she won't show it. She just keeps smiling and being her usual self, it pains me to witness it.

My mother is also a lovely MIL.
My OH and I always thought we must be incredibly lucky to have such wonderful parents-in-law, although I do hope that is the norm.

I wish I had a MIL. DH's mum died before we met. She definitely had her problems, but would have been a fascinating person to know.

My MIL is lovely. She can get a little bit much at times - but DP's dad cheated on her when she was pregnant with DP so she was a single mum for pretty much most if his early life.

DP and his dad get on like a house on fire and I can see the hurt in her eyes sometimes - as in he treated me in that way so why does he get the benefit of a close relationship.

But she tolerates it for DP's behalf. She never had any daughters though so I know she longs for girlie stuff so I try and do what I can. Hopefully when DP and I ever get married. I would invite her along with my DM to help choose a wedding dress. She would be so disappointed if I didn't. I know I don't have to, but it's important to her and my DP means the absolute world to me.

if I ever needed her, she'd be there

Mine is lovely and I am thrilled to be getting a lovely DIL soon.

Mine is ace and I always look forward to seeing her. We drink a lot of gin.

Love my MIL (&FIL for that matter) very much. She can be a little bit precious sometimes but her generosity, support and kindness overrides that. She also tends to side with me when DH is being a twat, which helps.

Love mine
She's helpful, supportive, doesn't interfere, often texts me just to see how I am.

My MIL is lovely :)

My mum is a great MIL too - DH gets in really well with her.

Forgot to add - obvs, now I'm pregnant with DHs first (and probably only) child, MIL loves me even more than before. Her pfb is going to have a pfb. It's like the second coming to her.

I love my MIL totally and unconditionally. She's like another mother to me.

I'm incredibly lucky. I essentially have two MILs.

Actual MIL is lovely. She is the main person who gave me confidence in my parenting and (despite me thinking that she was super pushy at the time) I owe her a tonne for edging me toward counselling about my parents. Without that I think I'd be a lesser parent myself and I'd still have a lot of the issues that blighted my teens. She also build a fantastic relationship with my twin daughters on the basis that her son treats them like daughters so she's going to treat them like grandchildren, pretty much from day 1.

"Other" MIL was DH's first wife's mother. I married her late daughter's husband. Her Grandson calls me Mum. It must be incredibly hard for her. Yet she's amazingly kind, my DD's and DH's and I's younger children also call her Nan and she (drunkenly) told me at Christmas she's always grateful I see her as part of our family.

Also, since the ladies are getting praise, FIL is a gem. He can fix anything, adores his grandchildren (including my two DDs who are not technically his grandchildren) and manages to be around helping decorate/fix the car/taking DS swimming whilst not being intrusive or under my feet.

I'd like to think they are the norm and my shitty parents were the abnormal ones.

Unfortunately my MIL & I do not do well together but my Stepmother in law is thankfully awesome!

Apologies for errant apostrophes. I shouldn't have posted about that after a glass of wine!

MIL ace. SIL disgrace.

My MIL was great. Not good at the practical stuff with babysitting etc. But so emotionally supportive and a thoroughly lovely and clever woman. We used to laugh a lot. She always always told me what a good job I was doing.

We miss her very much (she died suddenly three years ago, leaving a very big hole in our family).

Mine is amazing too, we get on really well, text each other all the time and in some ways I have more in common with her than my own mother (in terms of hobbies, favourite tv programmes, that sort of thing). She's an amazing grandmother too. The only bad point is her cooking, which she freely admits is terrible, she hates cooking and it shows.

I wish I still got on with mine. Currently have a very strained, grin-and-bear-it relationship whereas it used to be fine. Everything changed when I had DCs. I honestly think she can't cope with not being the only 'mother' any more (no other grandchildren) and she is horribly passive aggressive.

My MIL is lovely. We treat each other with respect, honesty and kindness. My children are better cared-for because of her support; when she retired she said she would like to help out with them, it coincided with me going back to work and it worked out beautifully.

We have our moments, I'm sure all MILs and DILs do. But instead of bitching behind her back I'll laugh and tell her. She struggled to know how to take me initially; Im very upfront about how I feel, so if I'm irritated I'll simply state what's irked me and get on with it. We've had to learn to handle one another; I'm gentler with her, she's more confrontational and upfront with me than she would ordinarily be. I respect her enormously, though.

DH's Dad passed away when DH was 9. MIL went from being a wealthy SAHM to being a single-parent widow. That would make some women resentful and angry. Not MIL; she'd give her last breath to ensure her children and grandchildren's happiness.

She's the kind of parent I'd like to be when my boys are grown.

I adore my MIL. We are like chalk and cheese and I was terrified of her at first but we get on famously. I luffs her and I think the feeling is mutual.

I totally disapprove of how many sweets she and FIL give the kids, and how late they let them stay up, and how many movies they let them watch when they stay over... But I let them get on with it 'cos I figure that's what grandparent/grandchild relationships are all about

My MIL is lovely. She has treated me as her daughter for 35 years now and we rarely have a cross word. She is an awesome grandma too and my boys spend many happy hours with her.

On the face of it my mum is also a fab MIL treats all her Son IL's as part of the family - shame her mothering skills aren't up to much!

LaLyra how amazing of her.

I bet though she feels so lucky that you are a a mummy to her grandson. How wonderful that families can support and heal each other.

Feeling teary now.

This is such a beautiful thread. Reading it has brought tears to my eyes. Far too often I read on mumsnet about people wanting their space, and not liking intrusion from family (not just MiLS) but I love a busy home. My MIL is my chief helper and supporter, she makes my life easier and more full of fun that it should be with 2 kids, 3 and under. In return she knows there is always a cup of tea and chat waiting whenever she wants.

Far too often I read on mumsnet about people wanting their space, and not liking intrusion from family (not just MiLS) but I love a busy home

Me too which is why its doubly heart breaking for me that my MILS behaviour makes this sort of free and easy coming and going impossible.

It is a lovely thread and proves there are plenty of wonderful mil/dil relations out there. I just wish I had one

Interesting words and phrases, treated me like a daughter, respect, accepted my first child as a grandchild and so on.

I love my MIL and my FIL! Both such fantastically sweet, kind, caring people. They really are amazing. :)