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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To ask how families with non teaching parents manage DCs during school holidays?

229 replies

Sheitgeist · 31/03/2015 19:53

Just that, really.
I am an out of work primary teacher in an area where there are rarely any vacancies. If they do crop up, there can be in excess of 100 applicants. I'd gladly be a TA, but it seems impossible to get that job too!

I'm looking outside of education now, but if I get a basic admin - or indeed any other job - I'll likely get around 5 weeks holiday. DH gets 6. Our two school age children (still at primary) get 13!
If I put them in a holiday club it will cost around £250 per week; childminder (if I can find one for school age children) would be a bit over £300. More than I'm likely to be paid!

We have parents or inlaws to help out. I'm feeling pretty unemployable now. What do other working parents do?

OP posts:
Wordsmith · 01/04/2015 15:18

Well good for you Hillingdon. What a marvellous parent you are to have it all so sorted. As for the rest of us - all we need to do is put our children into a 'lovely boading school' and stop complaining!

ChocolateEggFace · 01/04/2015 15:25

Hillingdon where your DC go to school doesn't really help during the holidays, though does it?!

A friend of mine has children who board, but still struggles with childcare during the holidays, and always has done. She works from home, so can juggle it, but she still has to work and can't be dealing with her DC with on the phone. Like everyone else on this thread she is making it work.

If posters weren't making it work, they would all be SAHP!

I work fewer hours than DH, and I often wonder how single parents who work his hours cope....but I guess they somehow do.

Lots of examples of how different folk manage on this thread. Smile - I don't see anyone not taking responsibility for their decisions, I do see a lot of working parents doing the best they can.

bundybear · 01/04/2015 15:26

We have a 7yo, 5yo and 11 month old. I'm about to go back to work 4 days a week. We use a combination of in-laws, annual leave, occasional unpaid leave, TOIL, paying for childcare. Neither myself or DH ever, ever use annual leave for anything other than holiday childcare. I work at a university so do luckily get university closed days around Christmas, Easter etc which don't need to come out of annual leave. Tbh it's the reason I stay in my job as it's worth a critical 8 extra days a year.

My stepdaughter has just turned 16 and is going to be paid a modest sum for looking after the older two in the summer which I'm hoping will help.

It's so hard, I never quite know how we're going to manage but somehow we do, just about.

Alex2013 · 01/04/2015 15:29

It is brutal on parents!

My DS is 5 and we do a combination of:

  • Play Dates
  • Holiday Clubs
  • My husband and I taking alternate weeks off
muminhants · 01/04/2015 15:31

I've used a mix of annual leave, childminder, sports club, activities at leisure centre while working at home, dh annual leave and occasional days with grandmother (who lives three hours away so it is occasional - maybe 2-3 days a year). I'm just glad my ds has been at state school with 13 weeks holiday. Goodness knows what you do if your dc's are at private school with even longer holidays!

muminhants · 01/04/2015 15:33

call a meeting with my manager to try and find a fairer system of booking leave now

surely first come first served is the fairest? You just need to get organised!

moomoo1967 · 01/04/2015 15:35

I always put DD in a holiday club

teenagersmum56 · 01/04/2015 15:38

My husband and I both work full time and it means we only have 2 weeks during the summer together as we have to take holidays with our children, but it's very difficult trying to get three weeks off during the summer so as soon as the holidays are released we have to rush to book them. I had to leave one job as I could not get the time off and explained it was nt worth paying £36 per day for all the school holidays as none was available. £1080 for 6 weeks childcare, but at the end of the day I did nt have kids to not be with them, so we had to do without, but spent sometime together.

Original poster
Sheitgeist · 01/04/2015 15:46

For me this is a national rather than individual problem. I don't think the kids should be at school longer, or that people should just not have kids or quit working or whatever lazy "told you so" smugness is trotted out. But rather lobby employers, or government to rethink childcare voucher support and more parent friendly workplaces. That genuinely do support working parents rather than lip service

Precisely, Nancy. It is an issue affecting pretty the majority of families, there should be simple, nationally applied solution. It surely helps the economy if mothers can work!
It will be doable for us, but for many, especially SP and those without extended family support it must be a financial and logistical nightmare. Any solutions are as varied as the types of parents for whom they are suitable.

Beating ourselves up about decisions we have made in the past funnily enough doesn't help matters Hmm ; I'm not going to regret the relationship I've been in for 26 years, nor moving to an area with low employment opportunities for my line of work when I was a SAHM at that point anyway, and DH had been offered a good opportunity. We just have to find a way based on the situation we are now in.

There has been fantastic ideas and advice on this thread, and hey, I think its OK to moan a little: those saying how hard it was were getting on with it and doing it anyway.

Right, off to start those spreadsheets!

OP posts:
FullersPride · 01/04/2015 15:47

I used to be a relatively well paid PA, doing full time hours. Since child number two I've been working in school admin, term time plus a bit extra. I couldn't see any other way of working it, no local family whatsoever. Grandparents unwilling or unable to help. Such a joy.

Morebiscuitsplease · 01/04/2015 16:30

I work part time (very part time), fortunately my job is flexible so I can attend the many things at school. Reading this reminds me why I will wait til my children are older before I consider working more. With no family I find child care a headache so I try to bank hours and use holiday clubs and a babysitters whom my girls love. I effectively work for nothing in school holidays. My employers are pretty family friendly which helps. hubby helps when he can but often works away.

fourteen · 01/04/2015 16:35

Hillingdon I have failed to find anything of relevance at all in your post.

Vickisuli · 01/04/2015 16:45

No help if you're not near me (canterbury.whitstable) but here there is sports camp run by the local leisure centre which is only £12 a day for members.

I work term times so I don't need it but do wonder how people manage. Must be even worse in the states where they get more than 3 months off (104 days according to Phineas and Ferb!) and adults get hardly any paid holiday.

DuelingFanjo · 01/04/2015 16:49

I only have one child and he's about to start school in September.

I've just sat down today and planned all the holidays for the next year and a half. I get 5 weeks holiday, my DH gets slightly less - so I have bought a week from my employer and I have something called long service leave which I have been saving up so should just about manage to cover all the holidays this year.

My big problem will be after school care.

We only have one grandparent who can help but she has other grandchildren can can only ask for help one day a week.

Hillingdon · 01/04/2015 17:00

Dueling - with regard to after school care. Our child miinder agreed to do the school pick up and then a couple of years the after school clubs started, although our son wasnt that keen I did book him into a number over the years and he can now play a raft of games/understanding of different sports and also knows how to change a duvet, sew on a button, cook a meal, clear up and how to turn off a stopcock in an emergency etc (the school had a Domestic Skills course)

ifyourehoppyandyouknowit · 01/04/2015 17:03

I don't know if I'm just being naive here, as DS doesn't start school until 2016, but is holiday care any more expensive that nursery fees? I only work part-time, and am lucky to have an employer that is really receptive to me adjusting my hours (within the needs of the organisation), but three full days at nursery is still around £500 a month, year round. Is holiday care really going to cost more than £6000 a year?

mandy214 · 01/04/2015 17:04

Surely if your child boards, Hillingdon you don't need after school care Hmm?!

Hillingdon · 01/04/2015 17:26

He didnt board until he was 11. I am talking from past experience

BobsySpud71 · 01/04/2015 17:38

My husband works full time and I work 5hrs a day, 5 days a week. We stagger our holidays and on the days Hubby is off with the kids, I work a 7.5hr day and then use the extra hours in lieu of holiday. We are also lucky enough to have In-laws close by to have them occasionally. Luckily, our local council offer a subsidised holiday club for two weeks in the summer holidays - not free but certainly affordable. It's a juggle but definitely do-able ??

morethanpotatoprints · 01/04/2015 17:57

I'm sorry but I think working parents get a good enough deal anyway and that companies are family friendly enough.
You know that your dc need childcare when you take the job, if it doesn't work for you then you don't work until it does.
That may sound tough but that's what many of us have had to do, making huge financial sacrifices because we don't have family extended or otherwise to help out. Some can't afford to work and pay for childcare, it's life.
As far as holidays go, there are plenty of opportunities for a week or so with your kids, most people have 5 weeks paid leave a year, leaving 8 weeks to pay for childcare.

ChocolateEggFace · 01/04/2015 18:08

morethanpotatoprints - it's not always the affording childcare - it's the finding it!

ThereisnoFinWay · 01/04/2015 18:10

Ifyou'rehappy holiday clubs round here are around 26 a day, so cheaper than nursery. I work 3 days so when both mine are in school it will cost me around 4ish k a year instead of the 9ish k I am paying for two preschoolers. I can't wait Grin

fourteen · 01/04/2015 18:11

Oh of course morethan! Yes that's right, if it's too hard I'll just quit my job!

Except I'm the only wage earner so, what then? Presumably you would support my living on benefits for 12 years until the DC are old enough to let themselves in after school a cake a snack? I'd also need back to work training after all that time to rejoin the workforce...

Or do I work full time, thus pouring tax money and skills back into the economy, paying my rent and bills without state handouts at the same time?

What utter tosh you speak

fourteen · 01/04/2015 18:12

and make

fourteen · 01/04/2015 18:13

In any case, have you read the thread?

Your last paragraph is exactly what everyone has been saying!