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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To ask how families with non teaching parents manage DCs during school holidays?

229 replies

Sheitgeist · 31/03/2015 19:53

Just that, really.
I am an out of work primary teacher in an area where there are rarely any vacancies. If they do crop up, there can be in excess of 100 applicants. I'd gladly be a TA, but it seems impossible to get that job too!

I'm looking outside of education now, but if I get a basic admin - or indeed any other job - I'll likely get around 5 weeks holiday. DH gets 6. Our two school age children (still at primary) get 13!
If I put them in a holiday club it will cost around £250 per week; childminder (if I can find one for school age children) would be a bit over £300. More than I'm likely to be paid!

We have parents or inlaws to help out. I'm feeling pretty unemployable now. What do other working parents do?

OP posts:

kewtogetin · 31/03/2015 20:24

This is why I gave up work, as a previous poster stated primary school and working do not go hand in hand. It's not just the school holidays though. This year alone we have had requests from school for parents to watch our children perform a play at 2pm, watch a dance show at 11am, come in and make Easter crafts, enjoy a school lunch with son/daughter, listen to a poet, take part in science week, do a fun run.....the list is endless, this is on top of requests to help at school fair/school library/classroom reading and of course child illness!
How are parents who work supposed to be able to get to do any of this with their child? When you use up all holiday entitlement on school holidays and to cover sickness? I know it's important that a school is part of the wider community and I'm not saying I have any answers but their has to be a better way than this.

myredcardigan · 31/03/2015 20:26

This is just another thing that reminds me how deprived my children are to have no GPs, indeed no family at all.

UseYourFingers · 31/03/2015 20:28

my red - It a horrible place to be isn't it.

PeterParkerSays · 31/03/2015 20:31

We are lucky in that DH and I have been in the same jobs for 8+ years so have accrued extra leave or we'd be stuffed. We have no grandparents near us and school holiday clubs around here seem to offer ridiculous hours - 9am-12pm for KS1 children, or 10am - 2pm, how do you fit that around working from 8 or 9am in another city?

DH is part time, 3 days a week, and has much more leave than me so he works one long day a week in the vacation, and takes 2 days' leave each week, I work two normal days and am at home for his longer day, then back to work on the days when he doesn't work. We have a week's holiday off together but otherwise that's it, we have no other holiday together except for bank holidays. I dream of being able to take a day's leave to do something for me - clothes shopping or sorting out DS's room or whatever, but every holiday day I have is set aside for holiday child care. I manage staff who work term time only, I'd love to have their hours.

myredcardigan · 31/03/2015 20:32

Yes, useyourfingers. Thank you and to you too.
GPs were a massive part of my life growing up, not just as childcare but real enrichment. Also cousins and aunts and uncles. I am very lucky to have 4 healthy children but I can't help but be envious of friends whose children have extended family.

LinesThatICouldntChange · 31/03/2015 20:33

OP- did you work when your children were pre schoolers? I'm guessing not, because if you did, the £250 per week wouldn't come as a shock- you'd be paying it all year round!

Tbh, childcare for school age children is logistically trickier but way cheaper than paying for all year round childcare. Why not stagger your leave with the children's dad, and consider paying a local student to provide care if you don't want to use a holiday club? It can work extremely well for school age children who like to feel a bit more grown up and independent but still need supervision

Original poster

Sheitgeist · 31/03/2015 20:33

Our parents are not only at a distance, but also too old or ill to help.

Yes, I have started volunteering in school, it is certainly a good idea.

Viking Hadn't really thought much about what the parents of my former pupils did during holidays; their lives outside school were not my business to ask about, but we always tried to accommodate working parents with times of plays, parents' evenings etc.

Good to read all your experiences, folks, thanks. I feel much better about the situation already.

OP posts:

fourteen · 31/03/2015 20:33

Kew don't forget that teacher parents have exactly the same issues.

There is no possibility of getting a half day here and there for your own child's sports day, or parents evenings, or the nativity, so we know exactly what it's like.

The teachers don't set the dates and times of the school activities!

But yes, admittedly the massive payoff is the school holidays....

Molichite · 31/03/2015 20:35

Myrecardigan has a good point, it's definitely harder if you have a child in term only nursery or YR. Luckily our old nursery runs a holiday club which is perfect for YRs. I know a few people who used it for their YRs who hadn't attended it before school. It was £20 a day for schoolchildren, much cheaper than nursery. DS outgrew it quickly but it was a godsend. A few other nurseries round here do the same.

Personally I don'tget why teaching is seen as such a good fit with children. So hard to get a day off for the myriad parental involvement things at your own DC's school, compulsory whole evenings given up to parents' meetings and literacy evenings etc for your work, the sheer volume of prep etc. Try a 9-5. You might like it.

Original poster

Sheitgeist · 31/03/2015 20:37

I had one preschooler at a time, Lines and I would have been earning more then than I am likely to in a new field as inexperienced newbie.

DCs are 5 and 8, 8YO is mild ASD, so it is hands on looking after they need.

OP posts:

StationeryOrdering · 31/03/2015 20:37

Sports clubs, sports clubs and sports clubs. 10-3, my working hours, so as long as they are local, they are a cheap and popular option.

BitOutOfPractice · 31/03/2015 20:42

Hold on, I've got a very tiny violin to play here for those teachers who don't reckon their career is child friendly ??

Few most school plays have evening performances beyond years R, 1 and 3. And the vast vast majority of jobs nowadays require working outside core hours. I'm just sitting down to work now as it happens.

BitOutOfPractice · 31/03/2015 20:42

Few should've read FWIW

Molichite · 31/03/2015 20:43

Kew sometimes you just can't do it all. You do the best you can, and if you can't go you arrange a temporary 'adoption' by a friend.

It's the afternoon stuff I hate. 9am or even 9.30 we can work with but 2.45 if you have a commute is almost impossible. We never pick them up early on the last day of term either, unless it's my non working day. It's a compromise, but it's not the end of the world.

JacquesHammer · 31/03/2015 20:43

Started my own business. Through the hols work in an evening when she's gone to bed.

Split childcare with STBXH, one week in holiday club.

PurpleCrazyHorse · 31/03/2015 20:43

That's why I'm now a SAHP.

Before, DH and I both worked FT, me in a job I didn't really like but took it as the salary was good. Used childcare vouchers to save tax and make the money go further. We both had reasonable salaries which is why we could pay for a childminder (and breakfast/after school club). I'd definitely recommend spreading your childcare so when your CM is on holiday you're already registered with breakfast/after school club. It makes it easier to get extra days if needed.

DH and I wouldn't holiday together, so I'd have a week off and DH would then be off for a week. DD often was shipped off to the PIL for a week holiday with them too. The rest was with our childminder. DD was too young (Reception) to go to lots of the holiday clubs, although our after school provider did run activities for younger children.

The other way around it is to look for work either starting early or finishing late. That way, you can cut your need for morning or after school childcare during term time. Or look for jobs where you might be able to get extra hours (therefore more pay) in the holidays when you've already got childcare arranged.

Don't forget inset days they really add up too. As does attending those Christmas concerts, parents evening etc. Oh and you might not get the holiday off you want, especially if you're working with lots of other parents, just to add to the stress.

kimlo · 31/03/2015 20:44

I use the holiday club attached to the school but I use then for before and after school care as well so they average the payment for me so that I pay the same all year.

I can very rarely take time off during the school holidays, because thats when most people want to take their annual leave and only so many people can be off at a time.

When the holiday club is closed, which is all of the christmas holidays and a week in august the youngest comes to work with me which I have to pay, and for the oldest its a case of crossing my fingers and hoping I can make it work.

fourteen · 31/03/2015 20:44

Bit, as it happens I kind of agree with you, but goading teachers on MN is a dangerous game to play

2rebecca · 31/03/2015 20:44

The parents take time off work separately so they have more weeks off with the kids (we did this in the summer), relatives have the kids for a while, you pay for child care.

Stealthsquiggle · 31/03/2015 20:47

Child swaps.
Holiday clubs (slightly more affordable if you can get childcare vouchers or whatever the new equivalent scheme is)
Posting them off to friendly relations / godparents/ friends
Rarely taking holiday at the same time

...or, increasingly, for us because we have the option, one or other of us working from home whilst the DC kill amuse each other.

BigGlasses · 31/03/2015 20:47

Move to Scotland. We are desperately short of supply primary teachers here.

myredcardigan · 31/03/2015 20:48

Oh I know it affords me school holidays but what do you do when you have zero babysitters so you can go to an evening performance? Most of my DCs school friends have both their parents working f/t. They almost always take half days for sports days. Lots of parents with you gets sibs at nursery so not able to make eve performance of play take an afternoon off for that too.
So I'm not saying there aren't massive benefits for family life if teaching due to hols. Absolutely they make a difference. But there's also limitations such as never seeing a sports day.

BitOutOfPractice · 31/03/2015 20:48

fourteen I'm beyond caring. Two days into a two week break and my juggling skills are already stretched to breaking point. Which makes me less than sympathetic to teachers saying their career isn't conducive to family life. I've got about 4 hours work to do starting now. No holiday pay. No sick pay. No pension. So my patience and tact ain't what it might be

Original poster

Sheitgeist · 31/03/2015 20:50

Hold on, I've got a very tiny violin to play here for those teachers who don't reckon their career is child friendly

I have to say, as a teacher myself, that I agree Bit . All those holidays? Come awwwn!

OP posts:

BitOutOfPractice · 31/03/2015 20:51

myred lots of non-teacher parents miss plays and sports days because they have no annual leave left after taking it all to cover holidays. Or because they can't afford unpaid leave. Or they work in jobs where getting odd days off is either impossible or not allowed. So again, the violin isn't getting any bigger I'm afraid.

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