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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To ask how families with non teaching parents manage DCs during school holidays?

229 replies

Sheitgeist · 31/03/2015 19:53

Just that, really.
I am an out of work primary teacher in an area where there are rarely any vacancies. If they do crop up, there can be in excess of 100 applicants. I'd gladly be a TA, but it seems impossible to get that job too!

I'm looking outside of education now, but if I get a basic admin - or indeed any other job - I'll likely get around 5 weeks holiday. DH gets 6. Our two school age children (still at primary) get 13!
If I put them in a holiday club it will cost around £250 per week; childminder (if I can find one for school age children) would be a bit over £300. More than I'm likely to be paid!

We have parents or inlaws to help out. I'm feeling pretty unemployable now. What do other working parents do?

OP posts:

CocktailQueen · 31/03/2015 20:51

Dh and I are both self-employed - I do most of the summer hols, but he does what he can. I work for a couple of hours a day and just don't take on work in the hols.

Also, sports clubs - our local leisure centre has a 3G pitch and foes sports clubs in hols which are v reasonable, and do wraparound care...

fourteen · 31/03/2015 20:52

I know what you mean Bit...

My friend is a corporate lawyer, currently expecting DC1. At NCT there is a woman who loudly proclaims that it's going to be impossible when the baby arrives because her and her husband are both teachers. My friend is

Original poster

Sheitgeist · 31/03/2015 20:52

I'm an expat Scot actually BigGlasses , and I'd love that. My phonics lessons would be a bit more understandable too!

OP posts:

BitOutOfPractice · 31/03/2015 20:52

Can I also throw into the mix LPs who have no partner to sage the burden with. My ex has the kids for 2 weeks in the summer. The other 11 weeks are down to me.

OublietteBravo · 31/03/2015 20:53

We both work FT and pay a lot for childcare. Holiday clubs are ~£200 per week per child for a full day (08:30-18:00). The DC get bored if they spend too long at any given club, so in the summer we use a combination of 3 different holiday clubs, residential activity camps (PGL) and annual leave. Holiday childcare (2 children) cost us ~£5.5k last year. Term time childcare worked out at ~£100 per week per child - so essentially another £4k. Grand total ~£9.5k (still cheaper than the time we used to pay for 2 FT nursery places though).

By working FT rather than PT all the way through their childhood I've managed to do pretty well career wise. I now earn double what I did when DD (10) was born. We always considered high-quality childcare to be an investment worth making.

PrimalLass · 31/03/2015 20:53

Move here (Fife). There are loads of teacher vacancies.

Aliiiii · 31/03/2015 20:54

My exP has never ever had DS (age 9 ) in the school holidays and we haven't been together for 6 years!!!
I work 30 hours a week and use every day of my holiday entitlement and it's still not enough
My parents help out where they can but I don't think it should be down to them when they are in their late 70s!

onepieceoflollipop · 31/03/2015 20:55

I work 3 full days but shift work (nurse).
Dh is ft but finishes at lunchtime on a Friday.
I get generous annual leave, but can't always take it in school holidays which doesn't help with childcare. Whatever job you get, don't assume you will be able to take all holidays out of term time.
For example summer hols Dh and I have 2 weeks off together, then we each might manage a day or two extra separately, I will ask to work one or two full weekends in August.
Shift work only suits us as Dh is reliably able to do pick up from after school club or holiday play scheme, and I focus on work while he does tea and bedtime etc. flip side is that most days he is able to go to work early mornings, and I do everything before a late shift. (Or sort the girls and take them to before school club).

LowryFan · 31/03/2015 20:55

Holiday club - tried childcare swaps but not v keen on other peoples kids during my annual leave...

myredcardigan · 31/03/2015 20:56

bit, I didn't even post complaining. I posted in response to another poster saying that teachers don't understand that non teachers often can't make things like sports day. I was merely pointing out that I never get to go to sports day either. So I think this is a case of crossed wires.

I was only lamenting the fact that my children have no extended family whatsoever.

TiggieBoo · 31/03/2015 20:56

Holiday club at school for 3 weeks/year, additional club elsewhere for another 3 weeks, the rest is a combination of holidays and working from home. It means we can't afford for both DH and I to take much holiday at the same time, we manage 1 week in the summer and 3-4 days at Christmas. We can comfortably afford to pay for clubs, the difficult part is the lack of time for proper family holidays.

Original poster

Sheitgeist · 31/03/2015 20:57

I'm from Fife Primal , would be great to work there!

OP posts:

TrixieB123 · 31/03/2015 20:58

I'm fortunate (ha!) in that my relationship with my DD's father crashed and burned, so we get by on my husband's and my annual leave and TOIL, plus DD's father, plus grandparents. It's not ideal and I can't remember the last time me and my husband had a day off that wasn't just the weekend together, but we get by.

WaxyBean · 31/03/2015 20:58

Would parental (unpaid) leave be an option to cover some of the shortfall?

We're fortunate to get obscene amounts of leave (me ten weeks, and DH eight), a good relationship with our old childminder and my mum willing to help out. Though it is a military operation to organise it all.

myredcardigan · 31/03/2015 20:59

Fourteen, my DH is a lawyer and he def has more leeway that me. He is often not home until late but can just as easily leave at 1 and openly say he is going to his child's school event.

morethanpotatoprints · 31/03/2015 20:59

I don't work OP, the holidays and other childcare requirements would have meant working for nothing or paying to work.
Never in a million years would I do this, so am always there for dc so don't need childcare.
We have saved a fortune over the years.

Jynxed · 31/03/2015 21:02

It's amazing what you can work out when you have no damn choice. We have 3 kids and no family around to help, so we buy childcare vouchers through the year to pay for holiday clubs, trade childcare with fellow schoolgate mums, and only have 2 weeks (1 in the summer and 1 at Xmas) on holiday together. It's worse now the kids are older as they object to going to schemes, but 2 of them are too young to be left alone for long. At least when they were little they went wherever we put them!

fourteen · 31/03/2015 21:02

That's great myred, but not all lawyers can do that. In fact, I would say very few, particularly corporate/commercial lawyers have that option.

mandy214 · 31/03/2015 21:03

If you get 5 weeks holidays and your H gets 6, you use all of that to cover school holidays (so 11 weeks) and then you look at other options for those other 2 weeks. For the last few years, we've taken 4 days off together (usually following a bank holiday) so, including the weekends either side, we get 11 or so days together as a family.

If you can team up with other parents as suggested you can stretch your leave / reduce your cost by paying for half a day then you take your children plus a couple of friends home for a play and tea (so other parents work a full day) then the next day they do the same for you.

H and I also split the day sometimes, I'll go in very early and do say 6 am - 1.30pm, be home for 2, then H will go in to his office say 2.30 till 10 pm. Occasional working from home. Occasional overnight with Aunty /GP if young / fit enough to look after the children. We have an after school nanny part time term time who will help occasionally but at £80 a day?? we try to keep those days to a minimum.

Mrschicken01 · 31/03/2015 21:03

In our family I work three days per week so difficulty is slightly reduced. DP's work shuts down over Xmas and for 5 days over Easter so that's not too bad. I get about seven weeks ( this includes my pro-rata bank holiday entitlement, due to the days I work I almost never actually have to take this time on bank hols so get to use them whenever I want) so I tend to have 2.5 weeks off over summer. Other than this we both get childcare vouchers which we use for holiday club as well as after school club. my youngest starts school in sept and we will continue to use the vouchers as it is a noticeable saving.

HerRoyalNotness · 31/03/2015 21:04

I must say I have seemed to have struck it lucky with employers as they really do not care if I take a day here or there for sports days, school trips, appointments etc... At my last job, I used to take 2hrs off one day a week to go in as a parent helper. I'm going to the zoo first week of may with a Grade2 class. I went back after mat leave as a TWaT (3 days a week), and then upped it to 4 days.

Maybe it's because there is a shortage of people in my profession, or maybe after 15yrs, I've earned some flex with them. Who knows? But I am very, very grateful.

Where we are now, the whole industry works a 9/80, everyone gets every other Friday off. If you have a spouse in the same industry, as many do, and you can swap your Friday schedule, there is a parent available for at least one day a week. Another company here does 8/80 with both Fridays in a biweek off. I love that companies are looking to be flexible for employees, it's a big drawcard for me.

manicinsomniac · 31/03/2015 21:05

Yep, also agree with bit . Holidays are one of the main reasons I became a teacher. Knew I was going to be a single parent and would therefore have to work full time. So it had to be teaching really. Hugely child friendly.

Yes, I suppose the never being able to get to school events is a tiny downside but none of the events are compulsory.

I have the best possible situation though - work in my children's school so do get to see some things depending on timetabling. Not shows though as I'm always backstage.

Lucyccfc · 31/03/2015 21:06

Only get 4 weeks leave and as a single parent, the price of a child minder to cover holidays was difficult (or so I thought).

I sit down with my child-minder in December and plan for the next 12 months - January to December. We agree the holidays she is going to cover and work out term time childminding. We get a total cost for the year and then divide it be 12 and I pay her monthly. She gets a steady monthly income and I get to spread my costs during the year. I don't end up with an £800 bill for August.

My child-minder loves this as she has had so many parents in the past who run up big bills during the holidays and then say they can't pay. It's a nightmare for her. It's also better for childcare vouchers if there is a monthly amount that is the same each month - less complicated.

This summer, I am doing a mix of child-minder and some sports clubs. The sports clubs are a quarter of the price of my child-minder, but I will still save a bit each month to pay for it.

myredcardigan · 31/03/2015 21:06

He works for an investment bank so it's fairly corporate. But yes, I'm sure you're right. I should probably have done law too, at least there would be financial benefits. DH doesn't understand why I bother working when wraparound care and nursery fees probably equal my salary.

fourteen · 31/03/2015 21:09

I'm glad I got out of it. I retrained as a teacher and now that I'm a lone parent I'm reaping the benefits.... There's no way I'd be able to cope with a law career, kids in school and no family help.

But each to their own

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