Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Flip

1 2 3 4 5 6

Original poster

to ask what you see other Mum's doing that puts you to shame

140 replies

Totality22 · 30/03/2015 15:39

I just saw a mum jogging with her double pram.

Made me feel like shit so I've grabbed another slice of cake

Seriously though, is it normal to look at other Mum's and think "I wish I could do that"

OP posts:

Stealthsquiggle · 31/03/2015 11:52

I love crafting. And cooking. But not with DC. Any attempt to do stuff "together" results in stressy parent and wailing/sulking child

And yy to hair. Poor DD. She has unruly wavy/curly hair and permanently looks as though she has had a recent encounter with a hurricane/hedge/both. She looks at her nemesis classmate with her oh-so-perfect plaits, which still look bloody perfect at the end of the day, and is sad. I hate that it makes her sad. I seriously dislike the child in question for lots of other reasons too and I definitely feel like a failure for not being able to overcome her hair's natural entropy and provide perfect durable plaits.

Kitsandkids · 31/03/2015 11:53

I echo what other people have said about others having a far different opinion of a situation than you do.

I have had people say to me 'you're a lovely mother - the boys are lucky to have you' when privately I feel that I spend most of my time telling them off, and worry they would be happier somewhere else (they are my foster children so I'm not actually their parent but feel I have to be a 'perfect parent' to make up for their background). I hope that my impression is wrong and that I am doing a good job!

We do crafts, but these often end up with me getting annoyed that paint has been knocked over or something. So the parents at school might have thought I was showing off when the boys gave out hand made cards at Christmas, but they didn't see me getting stressed while we were actually making them!

And I know for a fact that a lot of what gets put on Facebook is parents trying to prove to themselves and others that they're doing a fab job and all is well. I have a friend who often posts photos of her son or statuses about him doing well at school etc, and people will comment 'what a good boy!' or some such comment. Whereas behind the scenes she's often in tears due to his behaviour and has told me she sometimes feels she doesn't like him very much. So she's putting on a 'show' to the outside world while she's feeling totally differently privately.

MrsHathaway · 31/03/2015 12:55

I envy those with spotless houses - my rampaging toddler means 80-90% of housework has to take place after 8pm.

I envy those whose children go for a nap. None of my three has ever done that. The time I've spent tricking my children to sleep, or pushing the pram in all weathers, or driving round in circles... The idea that you could "just pop the [wide awake] baby down for a nap" and be back within a couple of minutes boggles my mind. Similarly, babies/children who can be transferred asleep between arms/carseat/pram/cot. HOW?!

On the other hand, people ask me how on earth I have time to bake/volunteer/blog/sew on name tapes. I dunno, I just do. If I only I had the same motivation for mopping the floor.

sourdrawers · 31/03/2015 13:09

I agree with LadyGr. Why on earth compare yourself up against anyone else? I'm sure the Mums you're objectifying here OP don't think of themselves as anything special. They probably look at you and think you're doing something or other better than they do. You are you, doing your best and they are them doing theirs.

toffeeboffin · 31/03/2015 13:18

Yup, jogging with a double buggy will do it.

Clean, spotless houses.

Making stuff like curtains, cushions etc.

Looking like a mother out of a Ralph Lauren ad, long white linen skirt, hair super chic in a neat pony tail, with super tidy kids running around. This woman lives near me, she's perfect, the house is perfect and the kids are too!

Sigh. Bet she can't cook though. [gri

toffeeboffin · 31/03/2015 13:24

Toddlers who hold their mothers hands, how? How do you get them to do that? Or at least hold the pram? DS just runs off to try and destroy stuff and screams if I try to hold his hand.

toffeeboffin · 31/03/2015 13:25

Toddlers who hold their mothers hands, how? How do you get them to do that? Or at least hold the pram? DS just runs off to try and destroy stuff and screams if I try to hold his hand.

Sallystyle · 31/03/2015 13:26

The ones that actually enjoy taking their kids to the park and playing with them. Hated every moment of that part of it. I found it so dull.

People who never forgot baby wipes.

Now they are older I can't think of many things. Perhaps those who never shout or get really stressed, but I haven't met very many parents like that.

BubGal13 · 31/03/2015 13:30

As mum to a 1.yr toddler just get jealous generally when see mums looking so perfectly coiffed/sorted/organised/neat and have got every single gadget/accessory/spares with them at all times come any situation/emergecny/meltdown/need, I leave house in a frenzy and always forget something at some point...never feel truly "on it" or as sorted as so many perfect young mums I see walking calmly around with perfect, clean changing bag stuffed to the rim of every possible toy/snack/food etc. you could need....arrrgggghhhh

sosix · 31/03/2015 14:21

Parents eho ope their car doirs in this wind without crisp and sweet wrappers flying away must clean car

sosix · 31/03/2015 14:27

Toddlers who hold their mothers hands, how? How do you get them to do that? Or at least hold the pram? DS just runs off to try and destroy stuff and screams if I try to hold his hand.

See, this one doesn't bother me. I just think my dcs are strong willed and will stand them in good stead. Although the actual practicality of the situation leaves me frazzled. Iyswim?

MythicalChicken · 31/03/2015 14:30

This woman years ago… she was a fellow school mum and offered us a lift home. She had 2 kids and I had 1. All 3 were in the back making the worst noise you've ever heard, squabbling, heads out of the window, etc. I tried to tell mine to behave. She just drove along serenely and didn't say anything at all. So chilled out. I would love to be like that.

AndHarry · 31/03/2015 15:26

My lovely neighbour who I can hear through the wall playing with her kids the same age as mine and having a whale of a time as I'm lying on DD's bedroom floor holding her hand to get her to go to sleep at 7pm.

The ones who do messy crafts with their kids. I do it and try not to feel stressed out by the vast cleanup operation required after 5 minutes' worth of the DC throwing glitter on the floor. One year I decided it would be a good idea to get DS to make his own glittery Christmas cards for our family I ended up sitting up late tryign to make mine look like his so that everyone would think they'd got an authentic child-made card :o

blueshoes · 31/03/2015 15:49

Mums who organise lots of enriching activities for their children and find out the best teachers in the next year up and make sure their children end up in their class and agitate the school to improve things.

Unfortunately, even if I had the time, I just cannot be arsed.

Plomino · 31/03/2015 16:13

Mums whose house you walk past and it doesn't sound like the starting point of WW3 . I am on night duty today and so far have been woken up 4 times to referee disputes between teenagers . I have had 2 hours sleep. I may have shouted . A lot .

Flip

1 2 3 4 5 6