Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to ask what you see other Mum's doing that puts you to shame

140 replies

Totality22 · 30/03/2015 15:39

I just saw a mum jogging with her double pram.

Made me feel like shit so I've grabbed another slice of cake

Seriously though, is it normal to look at other Mum's and think "I wish I could do that"

OP posts:
momb · 30/03/2015 18:44

I remember years ago being invited out for a last minute icnic at the park with friends. They had clearly had more notice than me and brought out all sorts of picnic yumminess, then proceeded to say I had put them to shame when I brought out crudités, hard boiled eggs and cubes of cheese and ham. I had literally put our dinner veg (I'd chopped it for a stew) in pots with anything else I could find in the fridge as we had no bread or treats left ....
I learned that day that no matter how badly we think we are doing, someone else will judge themselves against us and find themselves lacking. So now no matter how crappy I feel I take some solace in that come what may I am probably doing better than someone else in the world....
Still, I will never jog, buggy or otherwise: built for comfort not speed!

ImTakingTheEssence · 30/03/2015 18:50

Someone on Facebook posting about doing their own easter egghunt for there kids. It just seems like too much effort.

Emilyanne28 · 30/03/2015 19:05

Definitely the mums who go back to wearing a size 8 jeans after giving birth whereas my LO is 2 and I'm still blaming my weight on my pregnancy ??

Goldenbear · 30/03/2015 19:08

The parents who are pleased Spring has arrived as they can take their children to the park opposite the school almost every day and watch them play with no regard to what they're spending on coffee, cakes and ice creams at the park cafe. I, on the other hand cannot relax about my preschooler being looked after by a gang of 7 year olds and am not happy with either of them out of my sight. I also hate the crowds at the park and feel claustrophobic in the park cafe, it is far removed from something that brings me great joy, like it seemingly does to them as it 'wears them out'. I do however, sometimes take them to a local beauty spot in the countryside after school, if it is a beautiful spring/summer afternoon.

At my daughters preschool they have some kind of themed party every half term - you have to bring in party food. As its for 3/4 year olds you feel obliged to bring in semi- healthy stuff or at least home made and although I bake, my friend is an amazing baker and an expert at decorations on the cakes - so Christmas snowmen cakes - batches of them and homemade mince pies for the adults using gluten free flour, she also brought a cake stand with her to make them look pretty. At the Easter party she baked amazing bunny shaped biscuits with ribbons on them- 'all' of the children like her creations the best!

JohnFarleysRuskin · 30/03/2015 19:11

Nothing at all.

(Shameless!)

stubbornstains · 30/03/2015 19:13

I know someone who gets up before the kids at 6am to do housework. She also makes her own tahini from scratch. She is also never, ever, ever late for the school run Envy.

DancingHat · 30/03/2015 19:21

A friend asked me what moisturiser I used when our little ones were about 6 months. I said if you think my skin looks great it's the foundation I pile on because I have a skin complaint that makes my skin odd shades. So in her mind she thought I had perfect skin; the truth was it was worse than awful (because it's pigment related not spots you can't tell when I put the make up on). I am the kind of mum whereby the worse I feel on the inside the more effort I make with my appearance to make myself feel better. So those days I look polished? I feel like shit. Those days I look rough and ready? I got a good night's sleep! We all do it, picking the perfect bits of others' lives and wishing we had that. I don't bake so envy those that do. But I would rather have a nap! Maybe they would rather have more sleep but if they nap in the day they can't sleep at night.

Original poster
Totality22 · 30/03/2015 19:24

I should have put lighthearted in the thread title yet another "failure" lol

This thread has now given me a whole list of things.

Picnic food is usually shop bought, my son still has a dirty face after a bath, I don't drive and don't intend to and crafts in my house lasts about 90 seconds before DS wants to play with one pen (he likes to post it through a kitchen roll holder - can keep him entertained for hours!!!)

I love being a Mummy!

OP posts:
ThatsNotEvenAWord · 30/03/2015 19:38

Mums whose babies sleep in their cots for naps and manage to get all their housework done during this time. Ah well I enjoy the cuddles when DS sleeps on me Hmm

Buttmunch · 30/03/2015 19:39

Anyone who coped well with a newborn and toddler (I didn't)
Anyone who manages to keep their toddler and preschooler alive AND do the washing up and housework :/ I'm so disorganised.

SocksRock · 30/03/2015 19:46

Mothers who can effortlessly entertain multiple children on long train journeys. Can you guess what I'm doing tomorrow and again on Saturday????

BrockAuLit · 30/03/2015 19:48

mums who have struck the right balance between themselves / work / partner / children, and feel no guilt about it. I only know one and her children are utterly delightful!

squizita · 30/03/2015 19:54

A friend makes proper sensory play stuff, forts, jigsaws, soft play ... basically stuff I pay people to do, because they have mad skills. I don't.
She always explains how "easy" these are to "throw together" and I just stare at her. I imagine a line of drool coming pit of my mouth like I'm some kind of primitive chimp mum.

"Squizita read Gruffalo one time. Squizita do good?" Blush

pepperfish · 30/03/2015 19:57

Friend who is equally as pregnant as I (nearly 7.5 months) and still gets down to the gym 3 times a week.

How?!?! How does she do it? Even turning over in bed takes serious concentration and grunting!!

I can't imagine anything worse than being more out of breath and sweaty than I already am right now!

FindoGask · 30/03/2015 19:58

Parents being all relaxed and fun with their children in restaurants / museums etc, and actually appearing to have a nice time, instead of having a pole up their arse like I seem to every time we go out in public.

Parents who actively enjoy craft activities at home.

Parents who seem to be able to deal with challenging behaviour without so much as raising their voice.

ToysRLuv · 30/03/2015 20:02

Pregnancy was easy peasy for me. Continued working and going to the gym until I gave birth two weeks before my due date. Coping with a fairly difficult baby was a different story. I couldn't hack it. Have stuck at one dc and still feel irrationally sorry for people with young children.

BitchTradeMark · 30/03/2015 20:04

Mums who manage to make friends with people who have children the same age. One disadvantage to DP being the SAHD is that I have found it hard to make 'mum friends' due to working full time and women tend to avoid DP when he takes DS out to the park/nursery/activity centres as SAHDs are very rare where we are. I feel a bit :( that DS doesn't really have friends beyond the kids he knows doing a few hours at nursery a week. I definitely feel liked I've failed a bit there.

MildredDreadful · 30/03/2015 20:06

Mums who make their kids practise their musical instruments properly every day so that lessons themselves aren't a blimmin waste of time and money.

Mums with effortlessly tidy and clean houses because everyone who lives there is naturally tidy.

BoffinMum · 30/03/2015 20:07

Pinterest birthday cakes
My nemesis.

Ineedacleaningfairy · 30/03/2015 20:09

Parents who remember all the stuff their child needs, I had to borrow beg 2 nappies from another mum after taking my baby and toddler swimming the other day as I had faild to pack any nappies, as we'd been swimming I'd binned the nappies they had on before so the only option was to take them home (on the bus, in a sling and walking) with no nappies on, can you imagine the amount of mess! I tried to give her a pound for the nappies but she looked pityingly at me and said no thank you. I am very grateful to mums like that who are so organised they can save me!

squizita · 30/03/2015 20:12

Mums who can maintain a good habit.

Eg baby who is ok napping at 4 months ... still does it at 6 months.

Mine loves to keep me exhausted and untidy on my toes.

mommabear12 · 30/03/2015 20:15

Mums who make their own play dough. Although I think they should be classed as clinically insane when you can buy it from supermarkets for a couple of quid and it's much better than the funny grainy homemade stuff whose colour reminds me of knickers that ended up in the wrong wash.

Also you can bet your life that whenever my child has had a meltdown in town or has spent more time on the naughty chair than off it, I will read a post on Facebook from some mum waxing lyrical about how they are "truly blessed" to have quality time with their wonderful children.

AmysTiara · 30/03/2015 20:19

Nothing. The boys think I'm a great mum and that's good enough for me Grin

weeblueberry · 30/03/2015 20:26

I tend not to envy these mums as such but do look longingly at mums who

Can breastfeed discreetly (my boobs are massive and this just seems impossible!!)

Have children who don't know who Peppa Pig is because they don't watch TV all morning while some of us are just waking up

Have kids who just drink water and milk. I tried SO hard! It just didn't happen...

SueChef · 30/03/2015 20:27

I'm always jealous of those Mumsnet Mums who say on threads like this "Why would I feel bad about my own mothering skills? I don't feel the need to compare myself."

It'd be nice to see how it would feel to be a smug arse for a day.