Was I BU to use the disabled toilet?

[Unplastered]

At a local national trust place today, just me with Dd age 6 and baby in his pram.
The baby change unit in the loos is just in the main area, there's a long row of (tiny) cubicles and a large disabled loo with a sink in.
Dd and I both needed the loo, there was nobody around, so I took both kids in the disabled loo.
As we came out there was a woman approaching the loos on a crutch. She hadn't been waiting - she was just approaching as we exited. She told me, sharply, that I shouldn't have used that loo, the baby changing wasn't in there. I said I knew that, we hadn't needed to use it, just wanted a bigger cubicle so as not to leave the baby outside. She replied it didn't make any difference as none of us was disabled.
Was I BU to use the disabled loo?

Yabu, and I think you know that, and I question your motivation in startingnthis thread

And ffs most prams are worth hundreds of pounds don't turn that comment into something it's not.
Would you leave your handbag unattended while you go to the loo? No.

Are babies regulary abducted from outside a toilet cubicle? Can't say I have ever heard of it happening.

It's threads like these that make me realise that the rest of my life is going to be a long, hard, depressing slog.

No respect whatsoever. No empathy. Just an array of entitled, selfish, ignorant people. Some with prams worth hundreds of pounds

I certainly wouldn't risk it.

YABU.

There's no need to take the buggy in with you. I use the last cubicle in a row, leave the pram outside with DS in and the door ajar whilst DD and I use the loo.

In this instance you don't even have the excuse that it was the only loo as there was a row of usable loos you could have used.

I have to leave ds's sn buggy outside regular cubicles if I use those and take ds in with me, I stick a bike lock on it - perhaps that's an option.

my children appear to be healthy and fine... however one has a disability and one has mobility issues both need support with going to the loo. I am sure we aould be tutted at (and have been) when we all come out, even more so when we appear with my elderly mum as well.

Truffles: RTFT. I have a wheelchair using DC. We are all entitled to discuss this and have a view on whether accessible design is for exclusive use it not.

I really do get furious with people who stop in BB parking spaces on the street 'just for a few minutes' because when you are circling for a space you can't see that they have no Blue Badge and are occupying the space unlawfully. On the other hand toilet queues are full of strangers being considerate of each other, making eye contact etc.

I worry about the Tories threat to withdraw carers allowance, I worry about the huge restrictions to Access To Work , I worry about the Tory plot to tax DLA, the fact that ATOS were accepted as sponsors of the Paralympics made my blood boil.

The OP of this thread did not make my blood boil.

And also a lot of people with no empathy or respect for struggling parents, which is is odd considering its a parenting website.

And I used the hundreds of pounds comment as I was comparing leaving my pram unattended to anyone leaving a valuable item. My pram is certainly worth less than the majority.

If a pram is in front of the door to the cubicle then it's pretty hard for anyone to see in anyway, even more so if its a pushchair as its higher. plus no one is interested in looking. No one has ever moaned at me with the door ajar approach.

The OP of this thread did not make my blood boil.

But that doesn't make it a non-issue. We, as people and as disabled people, can be upset and passionate about a wide variety of things, the priority of which varies from person to person.

And also a lot of people with no empathy or respect for struggling parents

I have loads of empathy and respect for struggling parents, I am one! I just don't think that struggling with a baby is the same as struggling with disability or with a disabled child.

Honestly I get it if you wouldn't want to leave your buggy outside, I never worried with the dd's buggy, but always lock ds's as it is worth mega bucks and belongs to wheelchair services, plus some fucker did steal a wheelchair from outside a school the other day - hence the bike lock!

& the awareness of invisible disability (to both able- and disabled people) is a separate issue to those misusing facilities intended for disabled people.

Eminy get a grip with the struggling parents comment. In what way are you really struggling if you can't use a disabled loo. You aren't - you are mildly inconvenienced at most.

It doesn't make my blood boil, it just makes me a bit sad.

Ywnbu. When you've got to go you've got to go , especially with little ones.
That women had no business saying anything. Disabled could cover a multitude of things. How did she know you or one of your children are not diabetic.
Some people really do have too much to say

I do understand your pram/money point Eminy, but it is quite funny from a disabled persons POV because it so nicely illustrates the point. Buy a lock for your pram & tie it up somewhere outside the loos - but don't use it as the reason to normalise the misuse of disabled facilities to yourself.

Disabled could cover a multitude of things. How did she know you or one of your children are not diabetic.

This is a moot point because no-one in the OP's party had a disability, invisible or otherwise.

I think respect and consideration for access for people with disabilities is an issue. Spaces on buses should be prioritised go wheelchair users, but available to buggy users when not needed. The 'priority seats' should be for those who need them not lazy selfish teens. But they aren't for exclusive use.

Actually my gravest sun is using Parent and Child spaces in the middle of the night at the 24 hour Tesco when the entire car park is completely deserted....

I have never used the disabled toilet citing my non-disabled son as a excuse.

I have either waited and used the bigger cubicles, they are not disabled toilets just bigger cubicles that you can wheel the buggy in. Or baby has been taken out of the buggy and taken in with me. I have never once had my buggy stolen outside the toilets or any other place that ask for your buggy to be left in a buggy area

A bike lock is a good idea: wish I had thought of that when I was a buggy owner. Useful on occasion for wheelchair too.

lighthouse there was a whole row of usable empty cubicles.

Struggling parents? Struggling to go to the toilet? Are you kidding me?

It was not unreasonable to use the disabled look. If she had not arrived at the loo by the time you came out she did not need to wait. She might have felt she was entitled to moan at you, and if so, she did, and that's that. Stop worrying now.

(Who knows you might one day use the disabled loo and discover there was a mess, or a leak, or the paper has run out or some other problem in there and be the one to get it fixed for the next disabled user!)