To wonder if I'm being paranoid or if my friend is really a frenemy?

[MrsSubway]

I have been friends with A for about 6 years, ever since she moved into the same road as me. We have children at the same school and our children are all friends.

One thing I have noticed with A is that in the past few years everyone that I become friends with she then has to become friends with and said friends gradually withdraw from me, become quite offhand with me, and although they don't fall out with me as such, they don't actually really engage with me much anymore.

This has happened quite a few times in the past few years, and I have tried to give A the benefit of the doubt and told myself that friendships do come and go and change anyway, but I am really starting to think now that she does this on purpose. I feel as though she goes out of her way to become friendly with anyone that I strike up a friendship with. This person will then become her "bestie" for a while and then she moves onto someone else. Even if she doesn't come across this person in her everyday life she will seek them out.

About a year ago I became friends with B, who also lives in our road. I have noticed in the past few weeks that A seemed to be trying to befriend B, and I have now seen on Facebook this morning that A and B went out together to the cinema last night and have said that they've had a great night out with a great friend. I have noticed that since B became friendly with A she has been slightly off with me and not keen to meet with each other, she even seemingly deliberately crossed the road to avoid me one morning last week on the school run. Again I gave B the benefit of the doubt and thought perhaps she hadn't seen me but not it all makes sense! This happens every time A becomes friendly with anyone that I am friends with!

I know that my friends are free to be friendly with whoever they want and I'm not some kind of possessive teenager that insists friends can only be friendly with me, but it just seems a little too much of a co-incidence that A always becomes friendly with my friends, and then they withdraw from me?!

Am I being paranoid? How can I stop this from happening? I think falling out with A would be a big mistake.

You must stop saying 'hello' and asking 'B' what you have done. From this point on you must ignore.ignore.ignore. De-friend from FB and speak to other mums in the playground.

I would also distance myself from A until eventually you are not in contact with her she is a nasty piece of work.

I had a group of friends and we did a lot together. An old friend of mine moved near me and I started to meet her for a coffee. She invited me to a couple of parties. The group of friends that I had then turned up on my doorstep one day and told me that she was talking about me behind my bag , someone else told them. They would not tell me who. I was so hurt and upset more that they told me. In hindsight I believe someone was stirring the pot and it was one of the group. I eventually fell away from the group but it is really awkward now if I meet them. Thing is as I believed them I steered clear of the old friend who was supposedly talking about me . I keep to myself a lot now but it can be lonely although quite liberating.

Gawd, I couldn't be doing with all that shit. Ditch the lot of them and find real friends, What are they, five years old?
Why are you bothering texting them to ask what you've done etc? Disengage and leave them all to it.