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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think this was an overreaction by new neighbours.

288 replies

DancingDays · 28/03/2015 16:55

House next to us has been empty for months. This afternoon I went to collect DDs from a party. When I went out the front door and I saw a removals van, couldnt see alot due to low sun in my eyes and didnt really want to look as they've all their belongings out. While loading DS into car, a man and woman appeared, I stuck my head over the car, said "Hi" they responded with a "Hi" and I drove off.

I return home and huddle DCS into the house as they are very nosey and ask 101 questions, I thought I would ease the new neighbours in gently once they have settled.

After a few minutes back home I hear a knock at the door, its the new neighbour. They have decided I am very rude to not welcome them and I have upset his wife. She's decided it's now a bad neighbourhood and wants to leave. Based on one 5 second interaction and 1/2 hour of me knowing they are there.

I explain I was busy collecting DCs and didnt want to disturb them while they are actually moving in.

He goes on and explains the only option is for me to go and apologise for my rudeness and go and get to know her. He said something along the lines of 'I expected more but that's the minimum acceptable'

He went to leave after my Hmm face and telling him I was busy with DCs but maybe I'll see them soon once things aren't so hectic for both of us. She then appeared at the door step, gave me a look of 'I'm waiting for an apology' then muttered "what's the point, she's left you on the doorstep" and stropped off back to their house.

I know moving is stressful but surely you don't confront your neighbours 'rudeness' within 1/2 hour of arrival.

OP posts:
LouiseBrooks · 28/03/2015 19:34

I wouldn't touch them with a bargepole. At best the DH sounds like an entitled twat.

BTW, who lives on the other side of them?

ivykaty44 · 28/03/2015 19:34

Send dd1 round with a Swiss roll and some French cake, as a welcome offering and tell Dr to let them know you will be round for coffee soon but mummy only likes French coffee....

TheFairyCaravan · 28/03/2015 19:40

They are going to moan about everything.

Your kids will wake too early, play out too early, make too much noise in the garden. Heaven forbid you have a trampoline and they bounce on that and see over the fence, they won't like the dogs, you'll breathe the bit of air they wanted, park too close to their house. The list of complaints they are going to make is endless.

I wouldn't bother getting to know them, they will have fallen out with you by the end of tomorrow next week.

Wolfcub · 28/03/2015 19:40

Is there someone else in the street you're not keen on that you could set them up with

WayfaringStranger · 28/03/2015 19:50

Your DD is an evil genius.

flabbyducks · 28/03/2015 19:52

Do not go round and apologise

You need to start how you mean to go on

Be polite and that's it

Mad bastards

Aeroflotgirl · 28/03/2015 19:53

Bloody hell, I would stay out of their way, they obviously have ishoos.

Momagain1 · 28/03/2015 19:54

I was disappointed you don't have a dp you could send round to tell them off for upsetting you, as you had come home as quickly as possible and had rushed into the kitchen to make a cake to bring over as soon as the removal van left, and they SPOILED it! They just did! And now OP is SO upset! But you had baked anyway and were coming over with it so they had BETTER eat it the damned cake! AND LIKE IT!

Then he could just completely in a frighteningly swift way turn off the rant and be a lovely guest, but keep staring at them, Paddington-like, as they ate.

misdee · 28/03/2015 20:05

I want to know their reactions to your daughters card lol

Favouritethings · 28/03/2015 20:14

Uh oh! We are in ex mil housing, hope they've not moved into that house that's been sold further down our road!!!
Your dd sounds awesome :)

SunshineofRay · 28/03/2015 20:19

Has dd been over to see them with her card of welcome yet op?

MagelanicClouds · 28/03/2015 20:30

When you see them next simply say 'I am hoping to cultivate nothing more than a comfortable nodding acquaintance.'
If that doesn't work and they start turning up to complain about random things then there's one sure fire way to get rid of them for good.
'Would you like a copy of Watchtower magazine?'
Every time they show up to moan then immediately change the subject to Watchtower magazine.
BTW, how can a shrub be obnoxious? Dh wondered what on earth I was laughing so hard at!

MagelanicClouds · 28/03/2015 20:30

When you see them next simply say 'I am hoping to cultivate nothing more than a comfortable nodding acquaintance.'
If that doesn't work and they start turning up to complain about random things then there's one sure fire way to get rid of them for good.
'Would you like a copy of Watchtower magazine?'
Every time they show up to moan then immediately change the subject to Watchtower magazine.
BTW, how can a shrub be obnoxious? Dh wondered what on earth I was laughing so hard at!

MagelanicClouds · 28/03/2015 20:31

Bloody tablet, sorry.

coolaschmoola · 28/03/2015 20:37

I can't believe people on this thread have said YOU were rude, you said hi first! Your new neighbours are nuts.

FryOneFatManic · 28/03/2015 20:42

The OP wasn't rude. She was busy, and assumed the neighbours were also busy as they were moving in. She did say hi.

The neighbours were the ones being rude here, expecting an apology even though the OP hadn't done anything wrong, and expecting the OP to jump to their tune.

I think I'd distance myself, keeping things to a polite Hi, because I'm sure they'll complain about a whole lot more in future. I'd even start keeping a diary right from the start with these people.

HootyMcTooty · 28/03/2015 20:48

Oh this is just wonderful!

OP, your DD is an evil genius, you must be a wonderful mother, be proud of her, she sounds brilliant.

Your neighbours are bonkers. I didn't realise people actually behaved like this until a friend mover to a new house and had a similar run in with a neighbour.

I'm sure most people would act exactly as you did, so don't let them get you down. Who on earth invites an unknown man into their house anyway?

KittensOnAPlane · 28/03/2015 20:48

".......the only option is for me to go and apologise for my rudeness and go and get to know her....."

no, i think you have some other options......
bricks
drum kits
etc

carabos · 28/03/2015 20:50

I think you've been very lucky actually. You have discovered literally within moments of them arriving that your new neighbours are madder than a box of frogs. Give yourself a high five and never make eye contact again. AND you're first with the gossip for all your other neighbours- regard yourself as a sort of early warning system...

Original poster
DancingDays · 28/03/2015 20:50

DD1s card is drying ready for sending tomorrow, when I've suppressed the urge to knock after and complain they didn't sufficiently thank her enough and demand an apology.

OP posts:
Koalafications · 28/03/2015 20:51

Oh please do that DancingDays

Please, please, please.

Original poster
DancingDays · 28/03/2015 20:55

DD1 has had so much thrown at her but has kept her humour and sense of fun. I'm always amazed by how she views things. She's fab.

OP posts:
orangeformica · 28/03/2015 20:59

When we moved house once we turned up with the removal lorry and the whole of the close were lined up outside the house ready to greet us. One neighbour had even cut our lawns for us Shock. This was a bit much and set the tone really - lots of people wanting to know our business and interfering in things Hmm

Following our latest move we had some small gold bells and a poem left on the doorstep at Christmas Eve. They said they were a friendly neighbour wanting to say hello - we still don't know who it is though.

I would recommend keeping a distance but being polite wherever possible.

hesterton · 28/03/2015 21:01

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

wonkylegs · 28/03/2015 21:11

I wonder what your new neighbours would have thought of us. We moved into this house and the next day buggered off to another country for a a family wedding without saying hello. We only got to say hi to the neighbours a week later when we got back.
This approach seems to have served us well though as 2 years later we are friends with all of our neighbours.