Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to be amazed at how many people are still having 4 or more children?

587 replies

JackShit · 26/03/2015 11:57

Yikes! I'm going to get a new one ripped here, but this has been bugging me of late.

Our planet isn't in a particularly marvelous state. Overpopulation is a very real problem. We are responsible for the legacy we leave our children and surely part of loving them is to be concerned for their future quality of life on this planet.

I know there are a lot of people with larger families on MN and I need to understand why, in full knowledge of the facts, people continue to have so many children? Just read a thread on facebook where a woman was proudly stating she has 11! 11 ffs!

I don't go for the argument about some having only one or two so it cancels out and I also don't believe in replacing our ageing population problem with an even bigger one.

So what am I missing here? Do people just not really give a shit? Does biology take over?

I have 1 btw.

OP posts:
MrsMyrtleMarple · 26/03/2015 11:59

Good for you.

MarvellousMarbles · 26/03/2015 11:59

Personally I think everyone who has children is equally responsible for this - having 1 or 2 children isn't marvellously more responsible than having 4 or 5.

I speak as someone with 3, so right in the middle! I think drawing arbitrary cut-offs (that happen to put yourself in the "responsible" group) is deluding yourself!

FenellaFellorick · 26/03/2015 12:01

so what do you think people should do? What is your solution?

Original poster
JackShit · 26/03/2015 12:01

No, not 'good for me', don't be so petty. 1 or 2 IS better for the planet than 4,5,6,7 surely?

OP posts:
Onetwothreeoops · 26/03/2015 12:02

I think the age age number of children in the UK is currently 1.8 so I think your perspective may be a bit skewed.

I think they world has much more serious problems than the number of children currently being born in the UK.

HappierThanLarry · 26/03/2015 12:02

Back in the day when contrception wasn't available people had many many children. You often hear stories " my grandad is one of 9" - "my great grandma is one of 13"

I think people have less children now than they did a hundred years ago.

I only have one baby at the moment but I'm planning on having 3 more. Why? Because I can afford it, because I love children, because I can.

I don't think its anything to do with not giving a shit about the quality of the planet. Animals have babies in large litters ex and the world has kept on spinning.

Original poster
JackShit · 26/03/2015 12:02

Maybe consider having fewer children? I would like to understand why people do it.

OP posts:
Onetwothreeoops · 26/03/2015 12:02

That should say average

SantasLittleMonkeyButler · 26/03/2015 12:02

Yes of course you only have one. Your view point would be rather odd otherwise.

I have 3. What makes 4 the magic number above which the world starts to fall apart?

Other peoples family planning is none of your business. Just as your decision to stop at one is your private business.

Satsumafairy · 26/03/2015 12:03

I don't think most people make their family planning decisions in a global context. I'm not saying that's right or wrong necessarily.

Fevertree · 26/03/2015 12:04

Because they want to? Why do you 'need to' understand it?

Original poster
JackShit · 26/03/2015 12:04

I know of a few families with 5 children who have used disposables for each one. They will never biodegrade, ever. Add that to the massive strain on resources...

People had large families generations ago, but you need to consider the high mortality rate and the fact that the World population has increased massively since then.

OP posts:
GrannyWeatherwax2015 · 26/03/2015 12:05

I have four DC. That was choice DH and I made and we certainly don't have justify ourselves to anyone. We wanted a large family and so we had one, simple as that.

ThroughThickandThin · 26/03/2015 12:05

Interesting and I'm sure you'll get lots of answers, not all of them kind.

I have 3 but would have had a few more if DH had agreed. I'm aware it wasn't ideal for the planet and greater good, but probably would have gone ahead for selfish reasons if allowed to by Dh, in that I would have loved a large family.

HappierThanLarry · 26/03/2015 12:06

If your that bothered about the nappies why don't you buy them some re usable ones? Grin

FenellaFellorick · 26/03/2015 12:06

you don't understand why people do it? You can't work that out?

They want more children. That is what matters most to them. They consider that above any perceived responsibility to the earth. Or perhaps disagree that it's an issue.

sometimes they have a contraception failure and choose to keep the baby, sometimes they choose to have more children.

You don't mean that you don't understand why people do it, do you?

You mean you don't agree with them wanting to do it and you think they should feel differently.

weeblueberry · 26/03/2015 12:07

I wish we could afford more than 2 tbh. Sad And if we could I don't think Id be too concerned about over populating the earth...

WhereIsMyFurryHat · 26/03/2015 12:08

I am pregnant with my 4th child. My husband and I made the decision to have another child because we wanted to.

Surely, on your argument, making the decision to not have a child would be the sensible thing to do?

Why add any more to this overpopulated world?!?

angelos02 · 26/03/2015 12:09

I think they are taking a huge financial risk unless they are completely un-reliant on all benefits including child benefit as seeing the cuts that are taking place, I'm pretty sure most will be scrapped.

LikeIcan · 26/03/2015 12:09

I don't think 4 kids is a lot tbh. I know quite a few with 5.
If you love your dc & can afford them, have as many as you like.

Plus, there's probably only about 6 people in the entire world who plan their family around the state of the planet.

championnibbler · 26/03/2015 12:09

YANBU.
i was watching "19 Kids & Counting" on TV the other night.
that's the Duggar family and their 19 offspring who live in the southern US.
big into Jesus of course which probably explains all the kids, but all i could think was what selfish cunts the parent are.
Mrs Duggar must be physically wrecked.
And sex for Mr Duggar must be like chucking a sausage up The Mall.

Moln · 26/03/2015 12:09

Because they want to
Because they have unprotected sex
Because they feel wanted when they have babies
Because they want their children to have several siblings

That'll be a few reasons

OwlCapone · 26/03/2015 12:10

we certainly don't have justify ourselves to anyone. We wanted a large family and so we had one, simple as that

No, you don't have to justify it. However, this is something I find interesting. The planet can't support population growth as it is. There really isn't any getting away from that. Do we have the right to have as big a family as we want without any thought to whether it is sustainable?

I have 3 so one more than just a straight "replacement" for me and XH and thus guilty of having the size of family I wanted without any thought for the planet.

It is impossible to discuss from a standpoint devoid of emotion though.

Pukkapik · 26/03/2015 12:11

I have 4DC. Kept going because I loved having them. Maternal reproductive instinct at work. Stopped because I was mid 40s and had had 4 caesarians.
Do not feel guilty about having 4. Most of my close long standing friends from uni etc do not have any DC, let alone one or two.

Moln · 26/03/2015 12:11

Oh yes the Duggars add

because it is Gods will

To my list