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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to be amazed at how many people are still having 4 or more children?

587 replies

JackShit · 26/03/2015 11:57

Yikes! I'm going to get a new one ripped here, but this has been bugging me of late.

Our planet isn't in a particularly marvelous state. Overpopulation is a very real problem. We are responsible for the legacy we leave our children and surely part of loving them is to be concerned for their future quality of life on this planet.

I know there are a lot of people with larger families on MN and I need to understand why, in full knowledge of the facts, people continue to have so many children? Just read a thread on facebook where a woman was proudly stating she has 11! 11 ffs!

I don't go for the argument about some having only one or two so it cancels out and I also don't believe in replacing our ageing population problem with an even bigger one.

So what am I missing here? Do people just not really give a shit? Does biology take over?

I have 1 btw.

OP posts:
letshopetheyallgeton · 26/03/2015 12:11

YABVU, and addressing the wrong people - if you look at the Sept 2015 babies thread, out of about 80 mums only one is having her 4th, and that's me. I'd be interested to know what "facts" I'm ignoring.... Hmm

SoonToBeSix · 26/03/2015 12:11

Actually the planet is not over populated that's a myth. The issue is the earths resources are unfairly distributed.
If everyone lived at the same density as New York City the worlds entire population would fit in the state of Texas.
The problem is neither space or resources simply the selfishness of the developed world.
I have 7 dc Smile

WhereIsMyFurryHat · 26/03/2015 12:11

I think the answer to your question is the same as the answer to who you decided to have one child instead of not having a child at all. Why did you have yours, OP?

squoosh · 26/03/2015 12:11

I think it's a fair point. But overpopulation is a global problem, most people don't live their lives thinking in global terms, they live in their town and country and plan families according to what suits their particular needs. Countries like Italy are considered to be dying as the birth rate continues to drop.

WhereIsMyFurryHat · 26/03/2015 12:12

Why not who!

OwlCapone · 26/03/2015 12:12

It isn't just big families though. Medicine etc has means we aren't dying in such great numbers as before.

AggressiveBunting · 26/03/2015 12:12

It's likely that we'll suffer a catastrophic population event at some point in the next few hundred years anyway as population density grows - probably a mutated virus- that'll wipe half of us out.

Justusemyname · 26/03/2015 12:13

I did have reasons for having the amount of children I had had but they are personal. I have had three, I would have liked more. I hope to foster in the future but I assume that's okay as some else has given birth to them so I am not increasing the population.

VacantExpression · 26/03/2015 12:13

But Sue Radford (18 kids and counting) is ten years older than me and has had fifteen more children but looks in much better shape, younger looking and is much more organised than I am- some people must have a "big family" gene where they thrive on it wish I did

Original poster
JackShit · 26/03/2015 12:14

WhereIs Contraceptive failure. I had been advised all my life that I would never be able to have children, so it came as a huge surprise!

OP posts:
claraschu · 26/03/2015 12:15

People don't consider the impact of their actions. People are thoughtless and selfish.

I think that having 3 children was one of the most selfish and self-indulgent things I have ever done. I would have liked a fourth child, but couldn't deal with the guilt.

When people decide to have a child it is not just a case of "Your body, your choice". Having a baby (which will probably live for 80+ years on this planet) has a massive impact on the world, not just on your personal life.

I think people should consider this really carefully before making the huge decision to get pregnant or carry a pregnancy to term.

Pukkapik · 26/03/2015 12:16

Jackshit..don't you like hving aDC?

Original poster
JackShit · 26/03/2015 12:16

I don't mean this maliciously, really I don't.

I worry about the environment/future and I have feelings about this subject which I am prepared to accept are not entirely reasonable - hence my post on here. I knew I'd get some honest answers!

OP posts:
SpinDoctorOfAethelred · 26/03/2015 12:17

But very few people are having four or more? These are the recent statistics on how few have three or more. 47% of families have one child.

www.theguardian.com/news/datablog/2013/mar/25/family-size

EbwyIsUpTheDuff · 26/03/2015 12:17

very judgemental!

I once read a sci-fi story in which every person had the right to one child. So you could reproduce yourself. I'm now on child #3. the first two are obviously to reproduce their father and myself, the third is for her father (his first). Does that satisfy your moral judgement?

(I'd have more if I could. but then, I have a few infertile friends who'd be willing to give me their "right to reproduce" so that's ok then, right? )

Original poster
JackShit · 26/03/2015 12:18

Pukkapik YES I do! I am insanely fortunate...never thought it could happen.

I do worry about the legacy for all our children though...

OP posts:
Original poster
JackShit · 26/03/2015 12:19

Hmmm...surely many of the 47% will go on to have more though?

I

OP posts:
squoosh · 26/03/2015 12:20

Ireland's birth rate continues to rocket. We're still trying to get back to pre-famine population levels.

bigmouthstrikesagain · 26/03/2015 12:23

This old chestnut - I have 3 children and I have 5 siblings and one of my 5 siblings had 7 children - does that make my family evil? Sorry op but the question you posed always makes me sigh - as the the act of having a child is a selfish one. The only completely unselfish act would be to have none. People do not have children to 'help the world'.

Population is only one of the problems the world faces - we in the western world use significantly more resources than is proportional even in small families.

So unless you are sitting in a wind/ solar powered closed system house made out of recycled materials and don't own a car or ever go on an aeroplane and grow you own food and knit all your clothes from hemp etc. etc....

My family of 5 are vegetarian, I don't drive we only holiday in uk and we used washable nappies does that make me 50% less of an arsehole for clogging up the planet with my squealing brats. Wink

I planned one child but then had two and a stomach bug ensured the arrival unexpected but very welcome of no. 3 I feel guilty for having 3 at times but I also appreciate that as an animal rights and environmental campaigner from my teenage years I am passing on a responsible attitude to the irresponsible number of children I have brought into the world so that helps me sleep at night.

Strongerthanyoucounton · 26/03/2015 12:23

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

holeinmyheart · 26/03/2015 12:25

There is a very scary video going the rounds at the moment. It is meant to scare. It lists the birth rate amongst the indigenous population of Europe. Italy has the lowest at 1.6. Then they list the birth rate for the Muslims in the European Countries and it is much higher.
Their point is to say that soon the Muslims will outnumber the indigenous population. And the majority religion of the country will become Muslim by default.
I don't know how to post the link otherwise I would.
I know that they said the increase in UK population ( indigenous) was 1.8 children and this level of growth couldn't support the growing inbalance between pensioners and those in work.
Mmmmm I have lots of DCs but i can support them. I think it is whether or not you can support them.
I wouldn't have contemplated having a larger than average family if I couldn't have given them financial support.
It is such a joy to have them all together. They are such fun.
My DB had a Nuclear family, a boy and a girl. Unfortunately his DD died young. I so wish he had been able to have more. They are such a joy.
So maybe in the UK we need to have more DCs not less.

Pukkapik · 26/03/2015 12:25

I don't share your legacy worries at all. I would hope that most DC will turn out to be caring individuals about those less fortunate than themselves, that they will discover or achieve great things, that they will have social responsiblity etc. Yes, I live in the developed world and our family's carbon footprint is bigger than some in other parts. But, as we cannot afford holidays half way across the world by aeroplane, and never have, maybe our carbon footprint is less than that of other smaller families anyway..
As I said, lots of my friends have never had one pregnancy, never mind two. My mother is an only child, I only have one cousin on my father's side..we can afford four..why not?

championnibbler · 26/03/2015 12:26

ireland's birth rate is not "rocketing", it is growing, but slowly.

OwlCapone · 26/03/2015 12:27

Their point is to say that soon the Muslims will outnumber the indigenous population. And the majority religion of the country will become Muslim by default.

So, their point was basically racist?

Although I am aware Muslim is not a race it is a religion.

squoosh · 26/03/2015 12:28

Okay maybe 'rocketing' isn't the right word. Much higher than most (all?) other Western European countries though. France's may be higher.