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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to ask you all to come and talk me out of my yearning for a dog

122 replies

StrumpersPlunkett · 22/03/2015 23:08

I am becoming obsessive about it even though DH has made it clear if I have a dog I need a new husband.

he got his way about baby 3 (ie we didn't have a third) and I soooo have always thought that as an adult I would have a dog. I am now in my 40's in a stable home and relationship and I neeeeeed one!

Tell me all the reasons for and against.

OP posts:
MrsFlannel · 22/03/2015 23:36

Why doesn't he want one?

poorpaws · 22/03/2015 23:42

Bye bye husband

Wolfiefan · 22/03/2015 23:43

Build a kennel. For husband! Grin

TheChristmasTreeFairy · 22/03/2015 23:43

I'd like a dog too but then I think of the hair and all the extra hoovering it'd generate.
And the poo, the thought of picking up fresh warm poo with nearly bare hands is enough to put me right off

SaucyJack · 22/03/2015 23:46

If you're in a stable home, perhaps a horse would be a better pet?

HeartShapedBox · 22/03/2015 23:47

So where are you going to find a new husband?

Pubs, museums, gigs, maybe online?

Ooh, the possibilities are endless! Grin

Wolfiefan · 22/03/2015 23:52

On a serious note does DH always get his own way?

Sensibly have you considered:
Vet bills
Holidays (kennels?)
Training
Not leaving dog home alone
Potential destruction and stolen food?! Followed by wind!!
Versus:
Lovely walkies
Smiling doggy face
Cuddles
The most love ever!!

Original poster
StrumpersPlunkett · 23/03/2015 00:00

Oh you aren't helping!!! The only thing that is a slight ewwww is the picking up PPP but I was fine with washing shitty nappies from my boys and it can't be worse than that (can it????).
Kennels fine lovely recommendations from doggy friends.
And as for dh. Hmm with some big things I do think it helps if the other party isn't so totally against the idea.
I think I am veering towards a cockapoo to get round the extra dog hair thing and size wise it wouldn't be a problem in our house and garden.
I work at home so no issue there with a field full of lovely dog walks about 50 meters away.
Oooah I want one NOW!!!

OP posts:
HerRoyalNotness · 23/03/2015 00:04

Dogs are so needy, take a lot of care, excrete a lot of poop. You can't be spontaneous as you "have to get back for the dog" for walking/feeding/toileting etc

Don't do it. Get a cat, so much more independent.

WaywardOn3 · 23/03/2015 00:15

We have 6 dogs and much as I love them they are insanely time and money draining.

We've discussed it and won't have another dog until we're down to 2, as morbid as that sounds.

honeyroar · 23/03/2015 00:21

I agree, dogs are hairy, smelly, expensive, needy things. But SOOO worth it! I have dogs, cats and horses, I love them all but the dogs are top of the list. Nothing loves you like your dog.

CheerfulYank · 23/03/2015 00:24

What are his biggest objections to a dog? You can get around a lot of them depending on the breed.

Obviously all dogs need certain things, but others like a lot of hair, active personality, etc, really vary depending on what you get.

Kerberos · 23/03/2015 00:51

It would be a deal breaker for me too.

I don't want a dog. Never have. Probably never will.

Kerberos · 23/03/2015 00:53

Sorry forgot to add: reasons not to

1 they smell
2 they eat odd things and vomit them up again
3 you have to pick up poo
4 you have to walk them even if it's raining
5 they really smell

Yoosurnaym · 23/03/2015 00:58

They lick their own bums and the poo'ing is revolting. It's not like doing nappies. Confused
I have friends with dogs and enjoy my status of favourite Auntie to their dogs. I love seeing them and going for walks with them but prefer to leave all the crap jobs (literally and figuratively ) to the owners.

IHaveBrilloHair · 23/03/2015 01:06

No way in hell I would have one, and I grew up with them and love them.
Walking them several times a day, even in horrible weather, they puke and get the shites on your carpet, they shed hair, they bark.
I have four cats, I can put up with most stuff, I adore my cats, but a dog, no, just no.

LeoandBoosmum · 23/03/2015 01:39

The love and joy they bring makes any disadvantages pale into insignificance, truly. But there is a lot to consider if you get a dog in order to be fair to him or her. My friend has a Westie, he doesn't drop much fur, and he is an absolute sweetheart... Why does your DH object so much?

BictoriaVeckham · 23/03/2015 03:04

You can't be spontaneous as you "have to get back for the dog" for walking/feeding/toileting etc

This times 100

My parents, DP's parents and several friends all have this problem.

They also think that bringing the dog everywhere is acceptable, when in fact, it limits you (eating out, can't leave dog in car etc)

I'm not a dog lover but it's very clear to me that when you are, it's like a little clique; owners all talk to each other like they've know one another for 20 years here's looking at you DM Grin

pollykinesis · 23/03/2015 03:28

Just get one!! He won't have the heart to make you send a little puppy back. I want a dog so badly but so difficult when renting.

SeattleGraceMercyDeath · 23/03/2015 03:30

If you had a dog you could get one of these... www.pawtrekker.com

TheWitTank · 23/03/2015 03:57

We have two. They are truly a delight, we adore them. But...

The hair is a nightmare. I fully hoover every day (they don't go upstairs in the house) but the shedding makes me want to weep some days. On a plus side, they don't smell 'doggy'.
Poo picking. Necessary, but grim.
Expense. Insurance, decent flea and worm treatments, kennelling (just paid £500 plus for two weeks at kennels this summer), food. It does cost.
Puppies are cute, but a big commitment. You get out what you put in. Training takes time and you will have accidents/incidents.
You always have to get back for the dog. You have a limitation to how many hours you are going to spend out of the house unless you take them with you or arrange for someone else to go in to them.
My two are walked three times a day with one walk starting at 6.30am. In all weather's if we feel like it or not. Walking a dog with the flu is not fun. Neither is walking in gale force wind and rain.

Other than that, I wouldn't be without them. They are the most loyal companions and the joy they bring us outweighs all the above. My advice would be to research breed types to match your lifestyle (don't get a high energy working breed if you are wanting a 20 minute walk each day) and take the time to train your dog properly. Rescue kennels like Battersea have fantastic puppies/dogs for adoption so always worth a look.
Good luck!

Tobyjugg · 23/03/2015 04:01

Given the choice, had I'd been your DH, I'd have gone for DC3. Much less trouble than a puppy/dog.

AnnaFiveTowns · 23/03/2015 06:13

I think that since he got his way regarding the third baby, the least he can do is compromise a little and agree to you having a dog. I reckon I'd be inclined to just get one anyway - as long as you're prepared to do all the work for it. Are your work circumstances likely to change at all, as the one thing that all dogs need is company.

The main negatives have been covered; lack of spontaneity, poo, vets, dog hair etc. but IMO the positives far outweigh the negatives. So sod your husband! He's getting off lightly with a dog instead of a baby!

AnnaFiveTowns · 23/03/2015 06:17

Oh and incidentally we had a similar situation in my house. I was undecided about a third child, DH was adamant he didn't want one. Although he didn't particularly want a puppy, I think he understood it was a big compromise for me to make and only fair that he should do the same.

confusedandemployed · 23/03/2015 06:22

I have 2 dogs who have been with me through thick and thin over 12 years. I guess there are disadvantages, but they are so inconsequential compared with the joy and love they have always given that I barely think of them as disadvantages - just occupational hazards.
Sorry that wasn't helpful.

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