AIBU to ask you all to come and talk me out of my yearning for a dog

[StrumpersPlunkett]

I am becoming obsessive about it even though DH has made it clear if I have a dog I need a new husband.

he got his way about baby 3 (ie we didn't have a third) and I soooo have always thought that as an adult I would have a dog. I am now in my 40's in a stable home and relationship and I neeeeeed one!

Tell me all the reasons for and against.

OwlCapone seriously, try it some time, just the top, most dogs paws smell of digestive biscuits or popcorn. Do it after he's frolicked through a lovely grassy meadow or something!

Mine are Cockers too, working type, they live in the house but are trained for working. They are genuinely an utter pleasure to live with (even with the muddy pawprints), but I have put a lot of work and training into them, especially when they were pups - they were hard work but it has paid off a million times over since then.

I think if anyone is considering a dog, especially a puppy, it's important to have realistic expectations of what it can be like and how much work it can entail. Things like chewing, toileting in the house, jumping up, snatching, biting (hard!), growling, chasing cats/children etc. are all completely normal puppy behaviours, they need guidance and training to learn how to behave appropriately. Puppies don't act maliciously, they are just babies and don't know any better, and like children, some will take longer to learn certain things. Some breeds also tend in general terms to be more demanding/stubborn/active/needy/vocal than others- Cockers being a classic example of a very people-oriented/inquisitive/stubborn breed!

A piece of advice - puppies are hard work. They have to be house-trained and then at around six months they chew like mad. If I got another dog it would be an older one.

We've had collies before and they were fine. I've had a JRT thrust on me and he is like having a toddler. A permanent toddler who won't grow up. He is nearly 4. He gets bored. Take him out, he has a little nap & then whines to go out again. He chases things. He starts fights because every other dog has to submit to him so walks are not relaxed affairs. I can't let him off the lead (this is normal for JRTs).

With 2 cockers, going out for the day (or with one of them, going out for any more than 3 hours) costs us £30 a time in crèche fees. They can't be left alone because they howl their heads off without stopping. They are absolutely lovely - and very loved - but extraordinarily needy, as others have said. It's not their fault - it is just an extreme manifestation of man's attempt to breed a "best friend" over the last millennia ...As a practical matter the lives of our entire family revolve around them.....

I love dogs but DH doesn't. I can see that you've decided to wait; good decision.

One thing that I don't think others have put is the look in the eyes of parents of small children when you are out with a dog. Plenty of them are on the verge of shrieking "stay awaaaay from the ravenous beast!" Even when it is a small dog on a lead. That gets old very fast.

However, this may be a particularly North London thing.

OwlCapone seriously, try it some time, just the top, most dogs paws smell of digestive biscuits or popcorn. Do it after he's frolicked through a lovely grassy meadow or something!

He has just frolicked along a horse shit strewn bridle way and through muddy puddles and fox poo. I am not sniffing any part of him!! :o

Or maybe your digestive biscuits smell differently to the ones I remember...

Mine rolled in something unidentifiable, but disgusting and dead today on his walk.

We should start up a pissed off cocker-owners club

Oh god.. I remember the time mine rolled in something dead. I put him in the boot* of the car and by the time I'd walked round to the front, he'd stunk the car out.

• it's an SMax so a hatchback!

I grew up with dogs and do love them but would never have one unless circumstances changed dramatically. DH would never want one either, and I do feel like a dog is too big a commitment if one of you isn't keen. It just isn't fair (on DH or the dog tbh). There are so many reasons why I wouldn't want one, all of which have already been mentioned and in all the years I had dogs around, I never felt that the benefits outweighed the disadvantages. Obviously, everyone is different though.

There seems to be fairly frequent threads on here (or used to be, before I had The Doghouse because I'm not a dogowner) from people who have a dog that they are struggling with, and the point is always made that you shouldn't get a dog unless the whole family are all on board and have researched meticulously. It seems like great advice since dogs are, and deserve to be, such a big commitment.

Hi, I totally understand how you feel and I felt the same as you. I am not gonna try and talk you out of it but will give you a very honest account of life with a dog! I love my dog to bits but

This weekend my daughter's off to her nans for the weekend, we have been invited out for a really good weekend, but I can't go because of the dog. So I called the kennels ( against them in my mind I think - just enquiring ) They said 59.00 for the weekend, I had mixed reviews some people saying kennels are great for them walking all the time, and others saying no don't do it. So there already I am missing out this weekend and if I chose to put her in the kennels thats 60 quid before I have left the house, let alone the guilt and worry of leaving her there.

Then theres leaving her at home on her own during the day, as a rescue with severe separation anxiety I can't leave her at home for very long. Quite often me and my partner take it in turns to go out, because although now she can be left for three hours at the most, when I got her she would howl when I walked out of the door for the whole time I was gone. She was turn destructive no matter what I left at home for her to play with, and has been known to rip up christmas presents, eat the biscuits inside, chew wires, rip the bin open and shred my duvet to pieces. So when I leave the house I am constantly worrying because I need to get home for the dog.

When I got her she wasn't vaccinated, spayed or wormed and her nails had curled under because they were so long,she was full of fleas. She had an eye infection and that in its self cost me around 300. Then theres the de-fleaing and wormin every three months along with grooming, nail clipping, food, treats, toys, replacing a ripped up dog bed.

This weekend we took her up to my nans caravan with our daughter for a nice weekend, well she was on edge, being sick in the car ( I didnt know she was travel sick? only 20 minutes away) she was patrolling the caravan, barking at every noise and crying to go out and explore all day and night, we left early on Sunday because she was stressed out! When she got home she slept all day but as we were tired I wanted to have an early night, went up at 9pm and of course at 11pm she was whining next to me because she needed to go out for her usual last toilet, I wanted a lay in the next morning, but she woke me up at her usual 7am to go outside.

As a rescue my dog was scared of screaming, crying (kids) was petrified of a baby. If she see's something she perceives as violence she doesnt like it so theres no play fighting here. She is uncomfortable about people we know play fighting or chasing my daughter and thats not great, if anyone raises their voice in the house she will go and shake in a corner somewhere which is so sad, but sadly can be quite normal for neglected rescues. She is ridiculously loving and loyal but at times I know she cannot live without anxiety and that is upsetting for me. It has taken me 10 months so far to get her to stop being scared of us and its a lot of hard work!

I honestly never expected a dog to be like another child in a million years, she is as needy as my child and I had NEVER ever expected it to be like this. I hope you make the right decision for you.

Sorry to hear you will be splitting with your DH; a cockerpoo will be lovely

Seriously, they are incredibly time and money consuming and such, such hard work. BUT we wouldn't be without our puppy for the world. We all adore her more each day.

I dog sit for a friend.
The large dog has eaten fresh other dog's poo, fresh horse poo, fresh cow pat poo, human poo. He is truly disgusting.

He licks his bum and his willy, licks my ear.

He smells, his breathe is fishy and his farts stink.

But he is just lovely.

I walk him at 6.30am at a local beauty spot which is magical at that time of the day.

I can honestly say that I love him.

I love my dog, but she costs me £500 a month in dog walking and insurance alone. We have to always think about her when we go out, and time it so we don't leave her too long and I know that friends get annoyed with that.
I much prefer the cat for ease of looking after, but the dog loves me unconditionally and that's a great feeling!

If anything will put you off having a dog, this thread will: www.mumsnet.com/Talk/the_doghouse/2338046-Your-Dogs-Worst-Habit-Trait?

This thread is just making me grateful I have such a lovely dog who doesn't destroy things, eat shit, throw up in the car or howl when I'm not there...

By the way OP cats make lovely pets and can be really loving when they want to, I'd love a cat but my dog hates them so we can't have one.

I think cats are great :) certain breeds can be quite 'dog-like' in their friendliness/affection. No poo to clean up (if they go outdoors), no walks in all weather, they don't smell bad, I've never seen one eating another animal's poo and they sit on your lap and purr which is just lovely.

I have 3 dogs - collie, lab, retriever - and 2 children and 1 husband. Dogs are hard work, but then so is the husband and children. I have always had dogs - from a very young age, all collies who used to play with my brother and me, rounding us up like sheep, pulling us from swings if we swung too high, tripping us up, jumping after kites. Our dog was our best friend, one of the gang of kids and dogs in the neighbourhood.

Now my children have their own gang - our dogs, kids, other dogs, a couple of cats.

Yeah, they are smelly, shed hair, fart, shit and puke. So do my kids. They can drive me to distraction - like my kids. But then those 6 big brown eyes will look up at me (along with the 4 big blue eyes) and I fall in love with them again.

If you want unconditional love, devotion and adoration, then that's what a dog gives you - all of you, the family; because a dog, in my opinion, makes a family. It teaches children to love and care for another creature, how to be patient and responsible gives you all comfort (my dog at the time was integral to my wellbeing during recovery from cancer many years ago), love and so much fun. My dogs are hilarious and my dogs + my kids are even more hilarious.

What I hate to see, read, are people who buy a dog with good intentions and then lose interest or, finding it harder than they thought they would, give up on the dog. That's why some people on here have so many problems with their dog. Like kids, they need to be brought up well. It doesn't come naturally to a dog to behave, but then, it doesn't to kids either, does it?

There are too many rubbish owners in the world, so if you are not prepared to put in the time, patience and hard work, then do us all a favour and please don't get a dog.

zeezeek - yes, I was posting in jest about the downsides of cocker spaniels dog ownership for the benefit of the OP. My cocker is a much loved member of the family also, wonderful with the dc and very loving and sweet. He is harder work than I had thought though, and I'm a experienced dog owner.

Damn it mumsnet, I just sniffed my dogs feet, they do not smell like digestive biscuits, they smell like the kittens litter tray, on the up side that would explain the lack of poo in the litter tray, the disgusting creature has clearly been digging in there to eat it.

We have a Yorkie and I love him more than life itself. He doesn't shed, hump, shit in the house or do anything destructive. He doesn't need much walking and is the sweetest most loving little thing going. I'd highly recommend a dog - just make sure you get the right breed for your lifestyle (get a Spaniel at your own risk) or it could end up an expensive nightmare.

"I love him more than life itself."

Really? I adore dogs ( amd have owned 4) but that kind of love is reserved only for my children.

Would you risk life to save him?