To only let my children have fresh fruit/yoghurt for breakfast?

[Sunshinesunflower]

They have plenty of healthy food during the day but I don't really want them thinking the day has to start with them shoving lots of hot food or sugary cereals down themselves.

There is plenty of fruit for variety and just a small amount of plain yoghurt.

Aibu? I have always disliked the concept of breakfast so fruit seems a reasonable compromise.

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I've been waiting for the opportunity to use that picture for a very long time

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I thought I only had a short amount of time, which I haven't as person picking me up is late, but that's my excuse and I'm sticking to it, lol. I have done lines as penance.

-rusty halo-

I don't tend to buy a lot of fruit and yoghurt - they're loaded with sugar. The only fruit we tend to keep in the house on a regular basis (generally speaking) are bananas, which get eaten either alongside breakfast or as a snack before lunchtime.

Daily breakfasts in our house tend to be made up of things like:

Toast with an omelette or scrambled eggs.

Toast and banana.

Porridge with sultanas.

Cereal with a low sugar count such as NAS muesli, Shredded Wheat, Cornflakes, Weetabix, etc.

I do keep a box of something sugary in the cupboards as a treat just for the weekends - it's some sort of cookie crisp thing out of Lidl's atm. But we still need something else alongside it as neither of us find it particularly filling and it is filled with nothing but junk.

My DD tends to want to eat more fresh fruit in the summer when it's warm and she's out running about like a mad thing all day long. She needs the energy and sugar more then and I'm fine with that. In the winter, she just wants veggies all the time to go with a nice hot meal and plenty of Disney calm indoor play

hahaha so sultanas are fine but fresh fruit isn't oh come on. How is yoghurt 'loaded with sugar'? Yes, but like the milk you put in your porridge. I give up, seriously.

To a point I agree with OP that eating straight after getting up is not good for DC which is why my DD gets up and showers about an hour prior to breakfast, which tends to be oaty pancakes with a side of pineapple due to dietry issues!

Haven't red the whole thread but just want to say that I have raised 3 dcs who from about the age of 11 onwards have resolutely refused any sort of breakfast whatsoever. They all lived!!!!!!! Dd1 and dd2 both adults, gym bunnies, healthy and doing degrees. Ds1 at secondary school, built like a brick shithouse and doing fine. Step back from the breakfasts!! They will survive!

To a point I agree with OP that eating straight after getting up is not good for DC

Genuine curiosity, what is the rationale for that?

Plain full fat yoghurt eaten with fresh fruit is not 'laden with sugar' and is nutritionally far more useful than a piece of toast and jam or a bowl of cereal.

Wishing you well OP.

ds doesn't eat breakfast (hasn't for years). i have offered all sorts of everything in the past but he's just not hungry when he gets up (even if he was, getting up 2 minutes earlier to grab some breakfast before he leaves the house is an absurd notion to him). i used to beat myself up over it but meh, he's nearly 16 now. he knows when he's hungry.

when he was little (and i had an ounce of control over him) i managed to get him to eat half a slice of toast and a small banana or a few chocolate cheerio things (no milk, he hates it). yes, dry chocolate cereal. even that was hard work.

Hello op (in case you are still here)
Whatever other thoughts you may or may not have about food, I'm surprised lots of other people haven't been more sympathetic about the pregnancy sickness thing.
It is GRIM.
I only have one child so haven't ever had to give someone else breakfast while feeling like that, but I wouldn't look forward to it.
Take care.

Decaff I agree too about some of the MN comments about sugar. I like the idea of everything in moderation.

Like Dementedma, I have a few breakfast refusers here. However, they tend to be the ones getting home from school ravenous even though they bring lunch or have a lunch in school. They are also the ones who are near the top of their bmi range because they like snacking. My breakfast eaters seem to last through the day better. But I agree, breakfast is not everyone's thing.

Izzy and Tobysmum -- The OP stated she serves 'just a small amount' of plain yogurt along with a variety of fruits, and a glass of milk, ('chopped melon, mango, strawberries, blueberries, banana, apple, pear and yoghurt, sometimes with a tiny amount of honey. Oh and a drink of milk') and while I do not know what she considers to be a small amount, I suspect there is a good deal less yogurt than fruit, based on her aversion to feeding the DCs more than she thinks they need, and because yogurt seems an afterthought with fruit being the main compromise between no breakfast and breakfast.

Honey is straight sugar and all the fruits have sugars. So does the milk. Some of the fruits are low GI and some are higher. You would need quite a lot of yogurt to equal all that, presumably divided among two children aged 11 and toddler. Whole grains would be better, along with cream cheese and maybe a few pieces of fruit on top like banana slices or blueberries. Or peanut butter on a whole grain bagel would provide a protein, and she could put bananas on that too, or strawberries or whatever the DCs liked. Fish fingers on toast might be nice though that would be a hot meal, another thing the OP has an aversion to in the morning.

But this is much more about thoughts about food than food itself.

Have never encountered fish fingers on toast before.

No me neither, sunshine, and certainly not for breakfast.

I still reckon 80% of kids in this country have a banana chucked at them on the way to the car or a bowl of frosties plonked in front of them :)

It is a most delicious breakfast that I had for many years as a child, with a little lemon juice, and the toast buttered

Two of my DCs like to warm up leftover dinner for breakfast though they sometimes like a bowl of cereal. One likes cereal bars and other junky stuff ('breakfast cookies' and the like). Two will only eat breakfast if I really twist their arms.
Only three of them will eat fresh fruit. One will only eat fruit in pies or crumbles, and one refuses to eat fruit altogether. Two hate eggs with a passion. One would eat eggs for breakfast, lunch and dinner if allowed. The rest can take them or leave them.
One leaves for McDs to get herself dinner if I cook fish. She can't stand the sight or smell or taste of it. They have all survived thus far. So too do the children with the banana or the bowl of frosties, eaten first thing or in the car or whenever.

It is when parents intervene too much in their children's eating, either overtly (making children finish every bite) or covertly (serving small portions, controlling choice, showing an example of an unhealthy relationship with food and eating) that children end up with issues that are more deepseated and harder to tackle than whatever damage the frosties are doing.

At present I have healthy children with healthy diets, math.

The main criticisms seem focused around the fact that 'there's no variety' - well in fact there is, at weekends and holidays. Having the time to enjoy food is good. Eating is quickly because of time pressure is not. I also feel there's more variety in various berries and different fruit than in a bowl of cereal every day.

The other one centres around lack of carbs and 'they must be starving' - why 'must' children who have eaten we'll be starving?

Fruit has always been the perfect way to start the day for me - it's not messy, simple, healthy and its a great way of getting at least 3 a day in them before lunch.

Feeding your children is not only about having a "healthy diet", it's about having a healthy attitude to food. I'd wager that if you are able to promote a healthy attitude towards food, then the healthy, balanced diet will come naturally to them when they are older. Kids pick up on the unconscious stuff more than conscious.

Most of the '5 a day' should really be vegetables though, apparently.

I'm not sure why not being messy is an important consideration though when choosing healthy food for children?

sunshine have you asked your children what they think about their breakfast? Is fruit and yoghurt enough for them, or would they like something more or different?

I have said I don't like the idea of people getting up and immediately starting to eat: fine if others choose to do so but it isn't what I want for my family
I'm only on page 5, and haven't read up till page 23 but what does this mean? I'm utterly confused. What's not to "like" (or not) about eating immediately and how is eating when hungry a thing to "want" (or not) for one's family. What do you infer about people who do eat when they get up? Surely people should eat when they're hungry, and not eat when they're not.

I think you have a difficult road ahead if you decide to tackle your food demons.

Trouble is, if you don't tackle them your children will end up having a difficult road ahead sorting out their own food issues.

As a mum I know you'd want to try and give your children the best life skills, and the healthiest, happiest emotional resilience they can grow.

As someone with food issues that are left unaddressed and controlling you (vs you controlling them!), your brain will be doing everything it can to protect itself from recognising any issue that might mean you try to change. And that means justifying, ignoring and blind hope that no one will notice, that your children won't be affected by the way you are, and your brain will be twisting and turning and wriggling like someone fighting for its life. Basically your brain will be playing tricks on you and being rubbish just when you need it to show you clearly what's happening. That's the crap side of the food issues - not the crap side of you.

These are warring factions within you. It's not your fault, in fact it's the opposite. I genuinely mean 'poor you', you're left with this awful battle within you and no way to get out of it. You sound nice, and it's SO UNFAIR that you've got these demons to fight, please please don't think there is any blame towards you, it's NOT YOUR FAULT. But please, to do yourself justice, and of course your children too, but actually if just start with yourself, it's too upsetting and guilt inducing to focus on your children in this battle)... But please please, don't let the disordered eating side win against the amazing mum side. If the eating demons win, that means you, the lovely you deep inside, that you lose, and believe it or not you're worth so much more, you deserve to win.

One thing I do strongly feel, is that you have to fight for yourself and not just your children. People automatically say stuff like, 'do it for your children, they don't deserve to inherit the problems', but ultimately, for some people, that's a desperately paralysing train of thought - doesn't give you strength, it saps your strength.

You/one (pronoun confusion sorry!) can see it happening on this thread, and it's making you just give up on the spot.

Far from spurring you on, you are thinking 'yes my children don't deserve a lifetime of eating issues, but I might be starting to sow those seeds and so I'm a terrible person and I'm a rubbish mother and theres nothing I can do to stop this from happening so they'd be better off without me' etc etc etc.

Please stop that train of thought!!!

YOU deserve better. You really do. And you deserve to be the best mum you can be and to feel proud of yourself, and secure in the knowledge that your children need you, and you need them, and you're all exactly where you should be, doing your best for eachother and knowing that you're doing 'a good enough' job. Not aiming for perfect and hating yourself for failing to measure up, but doing your best and knowing that's good enough.

So in short: fight for yourself. You ARE worth it and you can do it. In little steps. And at some point on that journey the 'do it for your kids' thing will make sense and be a positive motivation. And at that point I suspect you'll be almost at the end of your battle - I hope you look back and see how far you've come and what bravery and general amazingness it's taken. But until that day, start with yourself, one insy winsey step at a time.

(I'm really tired btw and hoping this made any sense!)

Oh I remember I wanted to say one more thing about food!

If I had fruit for breakfast on an empty stomach, I'd have very unpleasant and uncontrollable diarrhoea for hours after. My stomach really can't deal with fruit first thing, even if it's diluted with a bit of yoghurt.

So I think your breakfast is very unhealthy indeed! My knee jerk reaction is to think anyone eating like that is not at all sensible, and a bit thoughtless / inconsiderate too. But I know my knee jerk reaction is wrong, and highly personal / an individual oddity not a rule for life!

I would not impose my own quirks on anyone else as I can tell the difference between what works for me (or rather, what doesn't work, in a rather explosive way!) and general nutrition and healthy eating.

The first step is to untangle your thinking. Start to work out what's you, and what can be transferred to others. That would be a massive step forwards, if you can identify the different types of thinking...

I don't think there's enough protein in the diet you described.
I'm not sure about fats either.

If you wanted to add something more filling that is also nutritious, you could try avocados. Bagel with cream cheese, tomato, avocado and cucumber... Almond butter or peanut butter are also good, on toasted whole grain bread, and you can put fruit on top if you wish. This would be as well as yogurt and fruit.

If you have the time, how about frozen cheese, mushroom and herb muffins you would whip up at the weekend, or your DH could make a few batches. They can be microwaved to defrost or warm up. These would be as well as the yogurt and some fruit too.

Smoothies that have spinach as well as fruit and yogurt are also nice, and can be sprinkled with some sort of cereal topping.

Nuts are a wholesome snack and veggie friendly.

I wouldn't personally be too bothered about lack of variety. Some like routine and would be a bit thrown by different breakfasts every day. Some might love it though. However, with a young baby/toddler, variety is a good idea.

I agree wholeheartedly with Miscellaneous about what is going on in your mind though:
-- Your thinking is tangled and it is also prone to confirmation bias - you see only what affirms your disordered relationship with food.

-- You need to separate 'you' from the DCs and their eating habits.

And I also think this is primarily about a problem in your thinking.

Hi, OP, sorry you are having a rough time. I actually can't see much wrong with your breakfast choice except lack of variety. If your children are of normal weight, healthy and are happy with what is on offer than what you feed them is your business. My concern is for how you are feeling...I hope you have some real life people you can look to for support..

Perhaps consider hiding this thread if it only serves to increase your stress or negative thoughts..