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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To ring school about male teacher in girls changing rooms?

123 replies

IDoAllMyOwnStunts · 21/03/2015 22:16

My daughter is Yr 8, she has announced today that a male teacher often comes into the girls changing rooms to chivvy them along. Sometimes when another female teacher is there, and other times when no other staff member is in there. She says some girls have been in a state of undress when he's walked in. He doesn't do anything other than pop in and tell them to hurry.
Is this allowed? Opposite sexes in changing rooms? I was going to ring her head of year on Monday to let her know this is going on. Would she think I was bonkers? Don't want to make a tit of myself if its an accepted thing in schools?

OP posts:
peckforton · 21/03/2015 22:18

So wrong i would defo ring up

autumnboys · 21/03/2015 22:19

I would have been do uncomfortable with this at that age, but it never have happened. Definitely speak to the school.

StayingSamVimesGirl · 21/03/2015 22:19

I would be very surprised if this was allowed - for the protection of the children and the teacher!

I would contact the school on Monday.

LowryFan · 21/03/2015 22:21

I would ring up and check what is happening. We had a right pervert teacher at middle school who did this. Looking back what he did was disgraceful but we were too naive to really know/complain.

LemonBreeland · 21/03/2015 22:22

I agree with everyone else, it is not right. He may be acting perfectly innocently, but he is leaving himself open to real problems.

Definitely speak to school

Haggisfish · 21/03/2015 22:23

What?! Should never happen, surely. I once walked into the lads rugby changing rooms by mistake-(cheeky fuckers told me it was fine when I knocked and they were all topless)-I nearly died and ran out spluttering my apologies.

SavoyCabbage · 21/03/2015 22:24

I would have to qualms at all about speaking to the school about this.

My dd is only at primary school and when they go on camp they take some male parent helpers (as there are more female than male staff) so they can go in and out of the boy's dorm without issue.

Original poster
IDoAllMyOwnStunts · 21/03/2015 22:24

I know that a female PE teacher is off sick so maybe they are short staffed. But it still doesn't fit right with me. And DD. She says he's creepy and wears his trousers too high! ( not sure i will mention that to the teacher). I've grilled her and he doesn't do anything other than quickly nip in and out. Glad to hear I won't sound like a neurotic loon.

OP posts:
HarrietSchulenberg · 21/03/2015 22:25

No, it should not happen. Phone HoY on Monday.
It's a safeguarding matter.

noblegiraffe · 21/03/2015 22:25

What??! No, this is very wrong.

If he is innocent, then he is an idiot. Has he completely forgotten his child protection training?

Definitely complain. He should never do it ever again.

WayfaringStranger · 21/03/2015 22:27

YANBU at all but please do not state that it's a safeguarding matter. Just tell them the facts.

Hakluyt · 21/03/2015 22:27

When my chilldren say anything which I find hard to believe i tell them that I will always go in to bat for them, but I will be incandescent with rage if it turns out to be an exaggeration, or an urban myth or whatever, so would they like to tell me the story again before I go in and make a tit of myself, and come home and string them up by their eyelids. If the story remains consistent, I go in and read the riot act. But it often doesn't.

textfan · 21/03/2015 22:29

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

todayiamfat · 21/03/2015 22:30

Not right or allowed at all.

Bizarrely, female teachers are allowed in boys changing room.

Finola1step · 21/03/2015 22:30

Yes, def call them. In my school, no male member of staff in his right mind would actually walk into the girl's changing room. Just as I wouldn't walk into the boy's changing rooms. It's a really big no no to protect the staff as well as children.

But please be absolutely certain of your facts before calling the school.

Original poster
IDoAllMyOwnStunts · 21/03/2015 22:35

I know, I did grill her for detail which she gave readily. She was very specific about a girl who was still in her pants when he entered, another in her bra, and what was said. Very hard to lie in that much detail, she's a truthful girl anyway and isn't prone to over dramatising. I will definitely ring on Monday, like people say silly chap is leaving himself wide open if nothing is going on. DD has no evidence whatsoever that he's doing it for his own sexual reasons, just this unexplained creepiness and high waisted trousers!

OP posts:
Hakluyt · 21/03/2015 22:37

"
Bizarrely, female teachers are allowed in boys changing room."

,
Chapter and verse please?

Original poster
IDoAllMyOwnStunts · 21/03/2015 22:39

Will def speak to her again tomorrow though and give her chance to change any detail. Thanks people, just didn't know if this was accepted practice in certain circumstances.

OP posts:
todayiamfat · 21/03/2015 22:57

I meant that apparently the rules are male teachers not in female cganging rooms, but females teachers are allowed in male changing rooms.

I am only taking my ex's (pe teacher) word for this. i can't imagine any teacher in tgeir right mind would dare go into the changing room of the opposite sex.

VelvetRuby · 21/03/2015 23:04

Yanbu. You need to flag this up right away. That is completely unacceptable and he is not only invading their privacy but seriously compromising his position.

Quangle · 21/03/2015 23:12

Also shouldn't the other teacher present also have raised this? All kinds of wrong.

YouAreMyRain · 21/03/2015 23:19

Definitely ring the school on Monday. This is not on. When I taught primary (yr4) we went swimming. The girls got changed in cubicles and the boys in a separate communal changing room. We had very few male staff, so often all the staff going swimming were female. I would leave the boys to it and stand outside. If I had to chivvy them on, I could do it by opening the door and calling, I didn't need to go in. If anything happened which meant that I had to go in or look inside I would fix my gaze on the ceiling as much as humanly possible. These were 8/9yr olds. I did it because nothing else was necessary, and out of respect for their privacy.

DisappointedOne · 21/03/2015 23:22

My games teacher at high school was a lesbian. Presumably she would be allowed to spend as much time as she liked with us in the changing rooms.........?

YouAreMyRain · 21/03/2015 23:28

Disappointed when I have covered secondary girls PE I have done the same as I did with the boys in primary. Stood outside, chivvied them from outside or the doorway with eyes on the ceiling etc. There is rarely any need for an adult to enter a changing room of able bodied children. Even lively ones.

bloodyteenagers · 21/03/2015 23:39

Have a look on the school website to see what their policy is. There should be something there about good practice, safeguarding, and how the changing rooms are staffed. Should also be something about intimate care. These policies should be freely available. If they are not on website, phone the school on Monday and ask for these and what the policy is for changing rooms.

However good practice I think mentioned about male staff knocking, announcing their presence, giving the girls time to cover up, knocking again and saying they are opening the door. This gives the girls time to cover up.. But other schools have a simple rule of no male staff allowed and it's seen as gross misconduct.