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Original poster

To ring school about male teacher in girls changing rooms?

123 replies

IDoAllMyOwnStunts · 21/03/2015 22:16

My daughter is Yr 8, she has announced today that a male teacher often comes into the girls changing rooms to chivvy them along. Sometimes when another female teacher is there, and other times when no other staff member is in there. She says some girls have been in a state of undress when he's walked in. He doesn't do anything other than pop in and tell them to hurry.
Is this allowed? Opposite sexes in changing rooms? I was going to ring her head of year on Monday to let her know this is going on. Would she think I was bonkers? Don't want to make a tit of myself if its an accepted thing in schools?

OP posts:
Lifesalemon · 21/03/2015 23:49

Our female staff don't go in either the boys changing rooms or toilets unless its in an emergency. If ever there is a problem with support staff during PE lessons, swimming etc then a male TA is relieved from his normal duties and steps in to supervise changing. I'm not sure on the law regarding female staff as we have always done it that way.

Lifesalemon · 22/03/2015 00:02

My last post works both ways obviously but was more in response to the laws regarding female staff being allowed but not the other way round. Neither gender are allowed in others changing area in our school. Regardless of any other rights and wrongs your daughter has a right to feel safe while in school so the very fact that she's uncomfortable with it means you should report it OP.

NeedABumChange · 22/03/2015 00:11

My pe teacher was a confirmed lesbian too, recently married her long term partner. She was allowed to watch us change. Should she be banned too?

Teacher has no way to tell them to hurry up, he probably sticks his head around the door and chivvys them. Our male teachers did this, no one ever thought it odd. We never stripped down though, we all did the shy one item at a time change.

GatoradeMeBitch · 22/03/2015 00:45

It's female and male changing rooms, not straight and gay...

blankgaze · 22/03/2015 00:57

Put your query in writing, that way they can't fob you off.

TidyDancer · 22/03/2015 01:40

I absolutely would contact the school, yes. I'm just wondering though whether the changing room is set up like it was at my school, where the room had a hallway/vestibule bit, then the main communal changing area had a modesty wall so a teacher could stand in the entrance to the room without actually seeing a child in there. Is it possible he's just walked into that type of changing room, called out, and then left again?

mariamin · 22/03/2015 01:58

Are some on this thread really suggesting that a lesbian teacher is a danger to girls?

IamtheDevilsAvocado · 22/03/2015 02:04

At the best he's being an idiot!! He's putting himself at risk, aside from the girls dignity

Why doesn't he just call thru /bang on the door? .. It's what our male teachers did with us aeons ago.. It worked when we were delaying.. Grin

Would deffo speak to school...

Alisvolatpropiis · 22/03/2015 02:06

That doesn't sound right.

He's probably doing it without thinking he'll potentially be seen as inappropriate (or indeed, a creepy weirdo), rather than actually being so.

I think mentioning it to the school would be a good idea for all involved. He needs to be aware (made aware again?) and the girls need to feel comfortable in getting changed (as far as is possible at that age, in a communal changing room).

BananaDrama34 · 22/03/2015 02:20

I (female) work in a school & often supervise my students changing (stand outside between both changing rooms), but will go into the girls if there's a problem or they need me. This situation would NEVER happen though, if the boys were messing about/being slow - I would open the door a fraction and shout through to them to stop misbehaving/hurry up, if this did not work, a male member of staff is always found to go in. Can't understand why the female member of staff hasn't raised it as a problem. Definitely speak with someone at the school.

DisappointedOne · 22/03/2015 09:42

Not at all. Just wondering why the issue is gender...

Psipsina · 22/03/2015 09:46

We also had a (married) lesbian PE teacher who would wander round the changing rooms after swimming and once grabbed my towel and started rubbing me with it when I was completely naked (Y7)

No one ever thought of saying she should not be there. A lot of the girls assumed I was weird because she chose me to do that to, though.

are people suggesting that a heterosexual male is a threat to naked children, while a homosexual female is not? I'm not sure what I think about that.

Original poster
IDoAllMyOwnStunts · 22/03/2015 09:52

Just grilled DD some more. He actually comes right into the changing rooms, into where they are changing so he can see everyone. He is not opening the door and calling through without seeing in.

He sometimes tells them to hurry, other times he just tells them what activity they are doing that day.

The more I am thinking about this the more it bothers me. Have no doubt that she's being truthful. He normally teaches the boys but the teacher who teaches the girls is off sick.

OP posts:
Original poster
IDoAllMyOwnStunts · 22/03/2015 09:58

Psipsina - that sounds an awful experience, were you able to tell anyone at the time?

Regardless of gender anyone can have a sexual interest in children. Perhaps teachers should only go in changing rooms in pairs?

Either way I'm ringing head of year in the morning.

OP posts:
Pipbin · 22/03/2015 09:58

He needs to stop for his own job safety if nothing else. He could find himself out of a job.

Psipsina · 22/03/2015 10:01

Nothing would have been done, I'd have been told I was a silly little girl and not to be ridiculous.

I was horrified and I spoke to the other girls about it (most of them saw it happening anyway) but people seemed uncomfortable discussing it, unsurprisingly.

Rumours that I was a lesbian and had somehow asked for it persisted for years.

Original poster
IDoAllMyOwnStunts · 22/03/2015 10:07

That's terrible, I don't know how long ago it was Psipsina but hope if that happened now it would be taken seriously. We too had a lesbian gym teacher who would tell us we had to shower naked. Then stand and watch. Awful. Don't think I told anyone either (early 80s). It creeped us all out but we just accepted that this is what happened.

OP posts:
Lifesalemon · 22/03/2015 10:10

It has nothing to do with sexual preferences, it's to do with making the students uncomfortable and a male in the changing rooms would make the girls uncomfortable. The lesbian thing is ridiculous. A lesbian is sexually attracted to women not children. If said female was doing something to make the girls uncomfortable which is what the male teacher is doing then that's another issue.

Lifesalemon · 22/03/2015 10:15

Sorry, I posted without refreshing thread, psipsina your experience sounds awful.Flowers

Hakluyt · 22/03/2015 10:17

Oh yes, I had forgotten the old "all female PE teachers are lesbian paedophiles" trope.........

ilovesooty · 22/03/2015 10:18

And heterosexual males are attracted to women not children too.

This situation isn't acceptable though.

Psipsina · 22/03/2015 10:19

Lifes, I'm grateful for your sympathy but the logic in your previous post is inaccessible to me.

If girls are uncomfortable about having a man around, who presumably is attracted to women, not girls, then why not a woman who is attracted to other women? If they are on the cusp of womanhood I would suggest both would be equally uncomfortable.

limitedperiodonly · 22/03/2015 10:20

Now you have a clearer picture I'd definitely raise it with the school and follow up your phone call with an email asking what's going on rather than hurling accusations.

The only thing that surprises me is the presence of the other teacher. That doesn't mean DD is lying, it might be that you got the wrong end of the stick.

It doesn't surprise me at all that this is happening and I am having a very hard time trying to think of an innocent explanation.

When I was about 12 the school caretaker wandered in on us changing after swimming two or three times. The layout was separate male and female changing rooms which accessed a single one for the pool which would only ever be used for a single sex group.

He'd enter from the boys' side and make the excuse that he needed to do something urgent to the pool and was coming through despite our upset. He was never apologetic about it. He was very bold. Looking back he probably got even more of a dirty little thrill ticking off naked 12 year olds.

Our teacher happened to be out of the changing area - probably getting ready for her next lesson - the first times he did it and I suspect he knew that.

We never thought to tell her or anyone else. We just thought adults could do that. Confused. Unluckily for him she popped back in unexpectedly. She went mad. He never did it again. I don't doubt that she complained to the head about it but he didn't lose his job.

BTW I suspect she was gay. But she didn't show any sexual interest in children. Why would she? He did though.

Psipsina · 22/03/2015 10:20

Hakluyt. We had many PE teachers who were female and showed no signs of being attracted to other females.

This one had form. No one did anything.

FryOneFatManic · 22/03/2015 10:24

I just spoke to my Yr 10 DD, and she says that male PE staff knock on the door and call through, they never go into the girls changing rooms.