To ring school about male teacher in girls changing rooms?

[IDoAllMyOwnStunts]

My daughter is Yr 8, she has announced today that a male teacher often comes into the girls changing rooms to chivvy them along. Sometimes when another female teacher is there, and other times when no other staff member is in there. She says some girls have been in a state of undress when he's walked in. He doesn't do anything other than pop in and tell them to hurry.
Is this allowed? Opposite sexes in changing rooms? I was going to ring her head of year on Monday to let her know this is going on. Would she think I was bonkers? Don't want to make a tit of myself if its an accepted thing in schools?

Yes, it never goes down well when someone points out the obvious homophobia to liberal people.
Carry on then discussing how lesbian PE teachers are a danger to girls.

Hermione wrote Should I not use the women's changing rooms at her gym because I'm bi?

Of course not. That is, of course you should continue using her changing rooms.

My feeling is that the reason sexuality was brought up to begin with is that there is a default position that men shouldn't be in the girls' changing rooms (and women shouldn't be in the boys'?).

I agree completely that the real issue here is that the teacher out himself in this position. That he is male is irrelevant, or should be, much as if a female teacher is lesbian or not should also be irrelevant.

The goal is best practice with an aim to ensure that all students feel safe and comfortable while going about their lessons. Which is both--

a) impossible all people are different and there's no way to predict the feelings/reactions of everyone, and

b) why it's probably necessary for changing rooms to be supervised by adults in the first place.

(Clearly, I'm loving my A's and B's today...)

Regarding the OP, agree with calling the school. This is inappropriate. He either knows full well what he's doing, in which case he shouldn't be working with children at all, or he has no boundaries/ respect/ understanding or empathy, in which case he needs urgent safeguarding training and a clear and frank discussion about why this cannot happen again. Following which his conduct should be closely monitored.

No, not well said Twinkle.

This male teacher has repeatedly come into the girls changing rooms, apparently without any warning. He's not supposed to be there. A PE teacher who was a lesbian would be expected to be there, and I hope this thread derailing hasn't put you off reporting him OP or made you think it's less odd. (By the way, our female PE teacher used to stand there watching us shower too, not to get her kicks but because kids tend to like to bully other kids wherever teachers aren't watching.)

I don't see the need for female or male teachers to be in a pupils changing room, unless first aid needs to be given.

I find it inappropriate he was in there, so i would personally talk to the school.
But do remember females can also be predatory paedophiles, so either being in the changing rooms is odd imho.

Oh and for the record Lesbians are attracted to Adult women, not children, same as gay men.
Never put paedophillia in the same category!

Lesbians? Oh for...

The salient point in these situations is not the sexuality of the person in the changing room, but their sex. It's not about whether the nude/partially clothed person has evidence to believe the fully clothed person would want to have sex with them, but about cultural ideas of vulnerability and levels of embarrassment. Women and girls feel more embarrassed being nude in front of boys and men. Men and boys feel more embarrassed being nude in front of girls and women. Women generally feel better about having female gynaecologists, even if the male doctor available is gay and so is the female doctor.

But frankly, if the red herrings of "whataboutthelesbians?" are your way of arguing for individual cubicles for changing, I'm all for that, although I think it needs some work as a campaign. If it's your way of minimising and dismissing the feelings of women who don't like men walking in on them and saying "oh, let's stop having safeguarding rules with changing, and stop showing any consideration for people who aren't into changing in public, in the interests of being 'fair'", then, well, have a .

I actually prefer a male doctor/gynae/midwife, but there you go.

That is unheard of for pupils of that age. It's a serious business. I think the police should be called as the school might just hush it up.

Carry on then discussing how lesbian PE teachers are a danger to girls.

mariamin, no one has said this. That is your inference.

Much like the general inference from the original post was that the male teacher (presumed straight) could be a danger to the girls.

Neither is actually the issue here.

As far as I can tell what is at issue is whether the OP should bring this up with the school, how teachers should supervise changing rooms regardless of children's' age, and what possible attitudes should be taken into account when working with groups of teenaged children (in this case) who are learning about their own sexuality, and trying to make sense of it.

Yes, it never goes down well when someone points out the obvious homophobia to liberal people.

Im glad you used a lowercase L. Also, this thread isn't really about homosexuality. In truth, I'm surprised someone hasn't come along to accuse everyone of perpetuating the All Men Are Rapists and Paedophiles trope.

(See, now I've gone and done exactly what I didn't want to do--got sucked in, and off topic. Bugger.)

The male teacher could be a danger to the girls. The girl has said how he is creepy. Children often express their gut instincts about someone being a threat in this way.

Has anyone ever come across a female PE teacher since they first existed who a section of their class didn't say was a lesbian? Becaue they often seem to have those obviously lesbian charcteristics - muscles, fitness, assertiveness and a track suit. And limited patience with the sport avoiding girly girl type.......

"If girls are uncomfortable about having a man around, who presumably is attracted to women, not girls, then why not a woman who is attracted to other women? If they are on the cusp of womanhood I would suggest both would be equally uncomfortable."

This sauce for the goose argument doesn't stand up, because women get raped and sexually assaulted by men on a massive scale (25% of all women get raped or sexually assaulted in their lives) while they don't get raped and sexually assaulted on anything like that scale, by other women.

The whole "women can be paedophiles too" thing is also not very strong because while it's obviously true, it is again so rare compared to men being paedophiles.

Quite simply, women are just not as sexually predatory as men. Everyone knows that. You'll always get the odd exception, such as the lesbian teacher with the towel, but they are wildly rare compared to predatory men.

It really isn't helpful to pretend that women are socialised with the same sense of entitlement to sex, that men are. It's just not true.

Your right pumpkin, it's not ideal for an adult of either sex to be present but unfortunately some students do need some supervision depending on age. Some students look for any opportunity to mess about and even bully other students, being unsupervised in a changing room is an ideal setting. It's up to a responsible adult to assess and provide required support in a way that is acceptable and appropriate to the age group and abilities of the students with their privacy, comfort and safety a priority at all times.

No men or women whether gay straight bi or a sexual or whatever should be making Anyone feel uncomfortable. The gender of the person intruding is irrelevant if they are barging in unexpected on half dressed youngsters.

I very much doubt there are any nasty intentions either from the male teacher but this shows a complete lack of consideration.

A teacher seeing you half dressed probably feels different to a stranger in a changing room because you see them.every day.

I would bring it up. not because he is a man but because the children ate now worried about unexpected members of staff entering rooms when they are trying to get changed.

gender or sexuality- that should say.

It's behaviour that's inappropriate nothing else is relevant really

And limited patience with the sport avoiding girly girl type

I'm not a girly-girl and was a competitive swimmer, on my primary school netball team and reasonably good rider out in all weathers and mud before I went to secondary school.

But I didn't like PE lessons at school because they were taught badly by people who didn't understand how to engage people who weren't sporty for various reasons - one of which is stripping off in the showers, the other big ones are being clumsy and being mocked for it or small and vulnerable in contact sports, which was mine.

I expect they would have covered up their lack of aptitude for enthusing young people in the benefits and general joy of sport with talk of 'girly-girls'.

I now run and go to the gym regularly. But that's because no one tells me what to do.

This sauce for the goose argument doesn't stand up, because women get raped and sexually assaulted by men on a massive scale (25% of all women get raped or sexually assaulted in their lives) while they don't get raped and sexually assaulted on anything like that scale, by other women.

I am FULLY aware of the huge discrepancy in numbers of women who attack and numbers of men who do so.

If a male teacher had carried out the actions my female teacher did, would you class that as a sexual assault? I'm curious to know. And thus would it still be classed as a sexual assault given that it was carried out by a woman?

Fucking hell I'd be furious about this. And I wouldn't think he was just being naive either, I'd assume he was trying to get an eyeful. Of course complain.

Why are posters falling over themselves to be PC about gender when it's totally and utterly irrelevant here??

Idris from my own personal POV it would not have protected me at all from my teacher if men were not allowed in the changing room.

It may not be pertinent to the issue at hand but it makes for an interesting wider discussion.

I don't understand why any teachers, male or female, should be allowed into a changing room at any time unless someone is actually in trouble.

Oh yes, I do take your pony Psipsina. I was just talking about this specific dilemma for OP.

Point not pony!!!

Give my pony back NOW

that was a great typo

Wish there was a pony emoji on Mumsnet. In fact, why the hell isn't there??!