About DP's comments or is he an arse?

[BlueBananas]

DP was on the phone to one of his friends earlier and he is quite a loud talker when on the phone so I could hear most of his side of the conversation
He was asking said friend whether he was still seeing a girl, was telling the friend she was good looking and potential material for 'wife-ing off' then said "actually it's a shame she's not a bit older or I'd take her off you myself"
I'm massively offended and more upset than pissed off by this, he said it was just lads banter and I shouldn't take everything so seriously, then said it's probably just the hormones that are making me a bit sensitive (I'm pregnant - 1st trimester)
I think I'm not hormonal, over sensitive or taking things too seriously he is just a disrespectful arsehole who came out of that conversation looking like a bit of a pervert aswell
We are at a stand off, I'm throwing it out to the MN jury - AIBU or is he being a knob?

Not a deal breaker but requires "training" it's how you go about it

This could be seen as rather demeaning to men. Implying they are errant children or animals.

It doesn't bother me but I think it's a bit rich to complain about his language (which was a joke) and then trot out this little gem.

It's the kind of thing an arse would say I'm afraid. Good rule of thumb: would you say it about a man? If not, it's not OK for him to say it about a woman.

It's always a shock when you realise your dp is a bit if a knob. The way I'd tackle it is to ask how he would feel if one day some bloke was talking about his daughter the way he was speaking about this woman.

I would remind him that he is lucky to be in a relationship with me and if he thinks he can do better he knows where the door is! If he wants to stay, he doesn't behave like a disrespectful arse, whether you can hear him or not.

Brices, because men shouldn't have to hear that their behaviour is unacceptable to their partner without the partner throwing in the utter sycophancy of (2) to make sure they have a nice ego boost and know their partner isn't really serious?

Most people agreed OP was not being unreasonable. However some of us asked if it was out of character. If not, yes maybe there is a problem. If not, then you'd be silly to end a relationship due to a single throwaway comment?
OP, I think the 'wife material' comment was a trap - if someone had reacted there would have been accusations of double standards (it's OK for DP to say it etc). Which is why I let it go despite the fact it was very nasty. Don't take it to heart and good luck.

Your DH isn't an arse. Unfortunately it's the superior mob mentality which mnet at times displays. He's probably not perfect but neither is anyone here, though people pretend to be.

I guess it's because I'm a manipulative person.
I wouldn't believe that saying to anybody male / female "that behaviour is unacceptable" would give me the behaviour I was seeking. Interesting for me to realise this, good to be challenged :-)
And I adhere to sycophantic behaviour, probably true!
As a general rule I would always, always go with I statements, I feel jealous, I feel upset... Then put in small statement about their behaviour, but never them!
Has given me pause for thought though. Can't just be myself. Extent of such manipulation means loss of intimacy.