About DP's comments or is he an arse?

[BlueBananas]

DP was on the phone to one of his friends earlier and he is quite a loud talker when on the phone so I could hear most of his side of the conversation
He was asking said friend whether he was still seeing a girl, was telling the friend she was good looking and potential material for 'wife-ing off' then said "actually it's a shame she's not a bit older or I'd take her off you myself"
I'm massively offended and more upset than pissed off by this, he said it was just lads banter and I shouldn't take everything so seriously, then said it's probably just the hormones that are making me a bit sensitive (I'm pregnant - 1st trimester)
I think I'm not hormonal, over sensitive or taking things too seriously he is just a disrespectful arsehole who came out of that conversation looking like a bit of a pervert aswell
We are at a stand off, I'm throwing it out to the MN jury - AIBU or is he being a knob?

he said it was just lads banter and I shouldn't take everything so seriously, then said it's probably just the hormones that are making me a bit sensitive

That's really mean too - you are upset and instead of trying to make you feel better, he's acting as though you are the one in the wrong.

Anyone who says "lad's banter" is automatically a knob.

Disrepectful to you - knob
Disrespectful to the other woman - knob
"lads' banter" - knob
"You're oversensitive because of your crazy lady hormones" - super knob
"wife-ing off" - massive veiny cockshaft

Knob

He's a wanker.
"Wife-ing off"?? that's a new one on me.
women are there only to be "wifed off"?
is he connected to ISIS? sounds like he's fit right in with that lot.

yy uglyswan

Arse.

I hope you are not expected to socialise a lot with your DHs friend and Friends GF. How awkward sitting opposite this lady knowing your DH has expressed this opinion.

I invariably swap the genders when reading threads like this. Would I ever say 'it's a shame he's not older I'd have some!'
Can I imagine any woman saying that to her friend? No.
It's massively disrespctful but probably from a misplaced belief he was complimentary.
No need to kill him with fire.

He is a disrespectful knob & no it is not your hormones.

No not hormones, he really is a knob.

Gosh some of these comments kind of read like you are saying the partner has the same mindset as a rapist

Very disrespectful but ...

Bit too townsfolk and torches for me on here.

Wow a lot of replies
Good to know I'm not being a crazy hormonal woman, not so great that everyone thinks my DP is a giant knob - even though he is!
I've never heard him speak like this before but then he didn't know I could hear him so i'm guessing he always talks like that when he's with "the lads" which makes me more annoyed about this because I thought he was better than that
Makes me wonder what he's said about his friends other girlfriends, or my friends, or what his friends have said about me?! Just all feels a bit gross now
...however this doesn't make him a terrorist ( !!) I promise!

bye then, daryl

I think I would encourage him to go for it

Total lack of respect for you.

Oh fuck, am I too late?

Oh poor you discovering when you are already up the duff that the father is an embarrassing, dreadful knob :(

I genuinely couldn't spend my life with a man like that. They disgust me.

You do have options.

Sorry for you that you're now having a baby with this idiot.
Yanbu to be fuming. Not every man speaks like that, only the rotten ones.

YANBU to be a bit pissed off but let it go - it's just chit-chat between two men.

If you want to feel like your marriage is the pits and you made a terrible decision in your choice of partner, you really came to the right place. The only place in the world where you can say "my husband had the last squirt of ketchup on his peas" and you'll get "is he always so selfish OP?", and "you doc realise you're being gas lighted don't you OP?".

BathtimeFunkster
Same shit, different thread. Is this your idea of being supportive or are you purposefully trying to make OP feel like absolute crap??

I'd put it down as daft banter.
Suppose I'll pack my bags and joint the Knobbettes.

Men do talk differently when there aren't women around. As do us women when men aren't around. Doesn't mean he doesn't love and respect you, he may have been trying to encourage his friend to settle down. If it's a one-off I wouldn't worry too much!

I guess he has some good qualities? As yes, he sounds like a complete tosser.

Yes he does of course have lots of good qualities, I was shocked to hear him speaking like this as he is usually a very nice guy
And to the people feeling sorry for me because I'm 'up the duff' to this knob, please don't worry as he is already a very good father to our other 2 children and I'm not about to leave him over this
He said a knobhead thing, I've made it very clear I (and the whole of MN) think he's been a knobhead and I'm not sharing my whole nut, let's keep a little bit of perspective on this ey
...funny I came on here slagging him off and wanting to everyone to agree but now everybody is I'm feeling a bit defensive of him, he is really in general very lovely!

I think I would encourage him to go for it

This with bells on ^^