To not want to adjust my language for an adult?

[CupidStuntSurvivor]

I've been on a course for a couple of weeks and have a couple more weeks left. It's a very interactive course with a lot of discussion involved. Around 30 students in total. A very mixed group.

Today, once one of the students left the room, the tutor informed us that the woman had requested he talk to us about our language. Not about swear words, as I'd originally thought he'd meant, but about phrases like 'oh my God' and other exclamations with a biblical theme. It was quite obviously in reaction to one student's frequent use of the phrase which was offending this woman. The tutor told us that this student planned to 'say something' next time anyone said anything like this.

Many of us felt very conscious of offending this student afterwards and some (including myself) felt quite put out by it, struggling to concentrate for a while after.

AIBU to think that as a traditionally Christian country, it's inevitable that biblical terms have become part of our language? And AIBU to think that tolerance works both ways and that though we could all try to avoid saying these things, she shouldn't feel entitled to tell people off for them if they do get said, them not being inherently offensive?

BiscuitMillionaire

Biscuit that film was not shown in Ireland as it was banned by the film censors. Naturally everyone made it their business to see it. HILARIOUS

Love the Pratchett quotes :o

I do sometimes check myself when I (rarely) say "Oh My God" because I instantly reflect on why would I say that, as an atheist? I find "oh my goodness" perfectly adequate, though. To be honest, I'm not particularly prone to such outbursts in polite company, anyhow. I love a good proper swear but I'm perfectly capable of sitting in a 3 hour meeting without any sort of profanity and I don't particularly suffer for it.

As a Christian (of 30 plus years) I might find it a bit offensive if people used a lot of certain blasphemous words (probably not God to be honest but others). I probably would not have the courage to say anything about it! So I think this lady was quite courageous to say something.

I can totally see a situation where any of us might find sexist language offensive, or racist language etc etc.

And it is also totally understandable to some people that these words are not offensive.

So I do think it is reasonable to ask a group if certain words could be avoided and by the same token when/if people do use them by accident to be suitably gracious and ignore them. It's all about working together.

My Gran and my Great Aunt used to say "Golly Moses."

anothernumberone I was brought up Catholic, my sister went to a catholic secondary school, and her headteacher told everyone not to watch it, so of course...

'Sufferin' Jaysus' is a popular curse/exclamation amongst Irish Catholics of a certain age.

I've also heard 'the Jaysus thing' used instead of 'the fucking thing'.

OP: my parents didn't like it when people said 'oh my god', and especially 'Jesus Christ' etc., but they wouldn't go as far as to tell people not to say it. OMG has become such a common phrase it's very hard to avoid.

Vdbhindu, being a Hindu, I can assure you that in Hindi language, these phrases are used constantly and not seen as offensive. So, a Hindu would say oh god!! Rather than oh Christ! Meaning god as in a nameless god rather than Mohammed Shiva or Jesus.

My son says MOG and I love that!

Actually I would be inclined to find OMG offensive, not because of any religious connotations, but because it is a bit reality TV / big brother etc.

By the same token, I wince every time my DS uses his new found descriptor of 'wicked' to describe something good.

I went on a sales course years ago and this was mooted as one thing that could lose business, we were taught to basically watch our language, not just for swearwords, but for anything else that could cause offence.

I think your tutor was wrong to let you know who in the group had raised the issue.

I used to work with a very devout Christian who found it offensive.
I don't think it hurts to respect other people's feelings on something like this but I'm not sure the tutor handled it very well.

My old mum is offended massively by oh my godddd bloody hell jesus christ etc etc
Im terrible for swearing but its not that hard to tone down on once youve got it

I never swear in work, unless I have to.

Privately it's a different matter, but I do consider who I'm talking to.

Bloody hell Beryl, has 'wicked' found its way back into fashion amongst the youth? I date that one at circa... 1999?

As for watching one's language - swearing is a natural part of language. Some swear words are more marked than others, so it's easier for us to keep a check on when we use them. Other things (like 'oh my god' and perhaps 'knackered', which my mother thinks is as bad as 'fuck') are much less so and it would be very difficult for most people to concentrate on suddenly not using said items of their day-to-day vocabulary.

I live in a country where people use the word 'fuck' and 'shit' constantly in everything but the politest of company and now struggle not to let them slip in when I speak English to my parents. Awkward.

I really can't understand why so many people think it is reasonable to continue in a behaviour, which is of no consequence to you, when you know it is offensive to someone else.

But it is certainly of consequence! Having to police your own thoughts and language for phrases that are automatic to you is a consequence, and in some contexts an important one.

Just because someone is offended by something ,it gives them no right to control the behavior of others. What if I'm offended by say....I don't know....women being in bars and drinking pints? Would you sit in the lounge with a half in a ladies glass to suit my sensibilities? I doubt it.

Eff

What course is it that you are doing?

Unlikely candidates:

The Alpha Course
Emotional Intelligence and soft skills
How to make friends and alienate others
BA in Christian Studies

Smillas no, I don't think it is back in fashion. DS is 7, so thinks it is 'epic'.

Some people do find it offensive though.
How often were you saying it that a tutor had to come and have a word?

The tutor didn't 'come and have a word', Wolfiefan, that much is obvious from the OP.

All start saying 'Jumpin' Jehosophat!' instead.

I've always liked that one.