To not want to adjust my language for an adult?

[CupidStuntSurvivor]

I've been on a course for a couple of weeks and have a couple more weeks left. It's a very interactive course with a lot of discussion involved. Around 30 students in total. A very mixed group.

Today, once one of the students left the room, the tutor informed us that the woman had requested he talk to us about our language. Not about swear words, as I'd originally thought he'd meant, but about phrases like 'oh my God' and other exclamations with a biblical theme. It was quite obviously in reaction to one student's frequent use of the phrase which was offending this woman. The tutor told us that this student planned to 'say something' next time anyone said anything like this.

Many of us felt very conscious of offending this student afterwards and some (including myself) felt quite put out by it, struggling to concentrate for a while after.

AIBU to think that as a traditionally Christian country, it's inevitable that biblical terms have become part of our language? And AIBU to think that tolerance works both ways and that though we could all try to avoid saying these things, she shouldn't feel entitled to tell people off for them if they do get said, them not being inherently offensive?

vdb

You live in a country with a strong Christian heritage. That's why. If you lived in a country where some other faith had been dominant for centuries, the culturally popular oaths would reflect that religion.

I wasn't aware that anyone had a right not to be offended.

I'd ignore.

Instead of saying 'Oh my god', say 'Oh my science' instead, or 'oh my no-such-thing-as-god'.

"It takes a very special and strong-minded kind of atheist to jump up and down with their hand clasped under their other armpit and shout, "Oh, random-fluctuations-in-the-space-time-continuum!" or "Aaargh, primitive-and-outmoded-concept on a crutch!”

Terry Pratchett.

And if 'omg' does slip out, say you were meaning Zeus/Baal/Horus.

I shall rehearse those, MrsTP.
P.S. Sorry for your loss.

Laviticus (sp?) says that the blasphemy should be stoned to death. I think that she should either have the courage of her convictions and bring the stone into class or admit that she's a bit half hearted about her faith and let it go.

On the one hand, I think she was being a bit silly, and as a PP stated, she doesn't have the right to not be offended. But, if someone used something like a racial slur, I bet a lot of people would be offended, and it would not be considered acceptable. If this woman feels the same way about this as the majority would feel about the n-word, then perhaps it's fair to try to accomodate her.

On the other hand, I think the notion of not be able to focus because of her request is also silly. I swear like a sailor, but I somehow manage to rein myself in at work, or other venues where such language is not appropriate, without adversely affecting my ability to focus or do my job. I would think most adults would be the same.

Thanks Hairy. I do feel a bit weird about this user name since he died. If Lyn Pratchett is on here; I hope it's OK.

But she hasn't told anyone off.

By the sounds of it, she's asked the tutor to put a request to the group, and the tutor has handled it rather poorly.

Just continue with your course, avoid using language that will offend her, appologise if you do so inadvertently. None of which will cause anyone any inconvenience.

Racial slurs are completely different, steff. It is not right to comment on people's looks, skin colour etc - things they are born with. Crazy ideas they have, we are free to criticize, imo.

to the real MrsTP then, and the MN MrsTP!

A very Christian colleague explained to me a number of years ago that he would find 'oh God' offensive. Ever since then I have tried not to say it - not just around him, but in general. 'Oh my word' 'My goodness' works equally well and doesn't offend, so why not. I have taught my DC the same.

I am not religious, and I don't believe religion should necessarily be afforded deferential status, but at the same time, it is being considerate to other people.

I can't stand people using denigrating sexist language, and I equate it as being a similar issue. I think it is nice if people show consideration by not using it.

If she really had to, she should have said something herself. I'm Christian and I really struggle with the idea that God would care- it's also incredibly counterproductive to draw attention to your faith by making someone else uncomfortable. I don't notice when someone else blasphemes, although I say oh my days, goodness, or fucks sake! Depending on context/ company.

I never say "Oh my God" now. Since watching Wolf Hall my blasphemy of choice is "Oh by the thrice-beshitten shroud of Lazarus".

I suppose it would be considerate not to, as long as it's not going to turn into an offend-a-thon.

Mind you, being on a course with someone one shrieking 'oh my god' every few minutes like being stuck in a Kardashian episode would have me scarpering like Laurie's sobbing room-flee-ers

Effy that's a good point- in a learning environment the tutor should have established whether no swearing/ blaspheming as part of general safe place rules.

I'm a massive atheist and I don't blaspheme very much. 'Sweet Baby Poopy' is my new one. To avoid 'Jesus', you understand. I think that to engage with religions and religious people, it's best not to go out of your way to be offensive when you don't have to. I want to have an adult discussion about why religious worship should be out of schools; I don't want to get sidetracked by language nonsense.

However, it is certainly NOT the same as racism or sexism. Unless you were saying, "I hate Christians" which would be. Not taking the Lord's name in vain is something you do because you believe it is wrong. I don't, so I don't have to observe that. Any more than I can make you throw salt over your shoulder or not walk under a ladder. You behave according to your beliefs and I behave according to mine.

I'm Christian and I really struggle with the idea that God would care... I say oh my days, goodness, or fucks sake! My first star there. I hope you enjoy.

If this had been about swearing as you originally thought would you have come on here saying that you felt put out and that you had been struggling to concentrate? Would you have continued to swear anyway? Most people don't have a problem moderating their language to suit the situation. I would never swear at work for example although my vocabulary at home veers towards 'salty'

Would you have happily been offensive to people of other religions? Many Christians find 'taking the Lord's name in vain' extremely offensive. How would you feel if she had been a Jewish person, or a Muslim, and she had told you (not you specifically, you the group) that you were using an expression that was offensive to people of her religion?

It is an oft voiced complaint that we are expected to respect other races and religions but that nobody sticks up for Christians/the English/british traditions. You seem to be saying that Christians don't deserve this level of respect - or perhaps you would not offer it to anybody.

You have the right to continue to use words and expressions that others find offensive but she was perfectly entitled to tell you that she didn't like it

Once when being shown round a church for a venue to meet each week, I said 'bloody hell' & 'holy shit' during a conversation. Luckily the lady doing the tour didn't hear me but I was not impressed with myself!! (we didn't choose the church in the end - thank God!).

Sorry, MrsTP, but I disagree. I expect that many of the men that cat-call to women in the street, or have calendars featuring naked women in the workplace, don't believe they are wrong. So by your argument, why should they change? Surely sometimes we have to accept that our behaviour might make other people uncomfortable, even though we might not agree with or understand their point of view, and avoid continuing that.

My DC say "Oh my Glob" a la Lumpy Space Princess from Adventure Time.

It was part of my training.
Avoid saying it and use 'Oh dear' instead.

Joshua most of us have been brought up to be aware of moderating swearing. That isn't the case here...these phrases have made their way into our language because we have Christian heritage, not despite of it. And it's not this woman's place in a completely religion-neutral setting to dictate to other Christians how closely they should follow the word of the bible. She can certainly expect others in the room not to intentionally offend her, but none of us can hold the expectation not to be inadvertently offended.