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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To consider dumping boyfriend over his bacon obsession???

123 replies

GinaHair · 19/03/2015 16:20

Been seeing someone for about 3 months. First date we went out for a meal and I happened to mention that I didn't like bacon. Well he went on and on and on about it, must have mentioned it about 6 times over the night saying he couldn't understand someone not liking bacon etc. It started off as a joke, I laughed along but by the end of the night I was getting a bit (ok drop it now eh?).

Apart from that little detail he was lovely in all ways - so I went for date number 2. Another meal. Whilst sat looking at the menu he said "ooo bacon carbonara that sounds lovely! shall I order us two of those?" (and he was deadly serious). I said "no I don't like bacon remember" and he immediately went off again with "oh thats right!! you're a non bacon fan! wow I just don't get it! so how long have you not liked bacon for?" etc etc. after two more mentions of bacon I said "ok look can we drop the bacon thing now? it's getting a bit tedious". He apologised and agreed he would drop it.

Well anyway as I've said it's been 3 months and whilst everything else is great this bloody bacon thing will not fuck off and I'm finding it so frustrating. Everytime we go out to eat he mentions it, everytime its on TV he gets excited and brings it up, he even went as far as to photograph a packet of bacon crisps and post it on my facebook wall saying "stalked" or some shit.

Yesterday we met up with friends and he started on about it and tried to embarrass me saying I didn't eat bacon because I'm a muslim (I'm not, I'm athiest) and because I like fluffy pigs etc etc and I snapped and shouted at him. Friends thought I was out of order because they don't realise the scale of this fucking bacon thing. Now I feel like a twat and I'm furious at him. Thinking of calling it a day with him but everything else is so perfect I just don't get why he's doing it

OP posts:

MyBeloved · 20/03/2015 12:32

I love BLT- Bastard, Leave The

seriously though OP, I'd dump his sorry arse because he sounds really irritating.

SylvaniansAtEase · 20/03/2015 12:51

Get rid, he's a knob end. Simple as.

FirstWeTakeManhattan · 20/03/2015 12:51

Maybe he really likes you and thinks (misguidedly) that you'll find it cute to have 'the bacon thing', like it's a coupley-bondingy thing. Or something.

If you're thinking of dumping him, then he's probably not the one, bacon or no bacon.

I think the 'he's a bully' thing and if it's not bacon, he'll be trying to fuck you over with something else, sounds a little overreaching to me. A bit twatty, annoying, inappropriate, yes. I didn't get 'bully' from it though and I'm reluctant to chuck the accusation around every time someone behaves badly, as there is the risk of the term being diminished.

He embarrassed you, but whilst that is hugely unappealing, and he should absolutely not do it, it's not bullying in itself (although this can definitely form part of bullying behaviour). It might even just be clumsy as fuck trying-to-be-funny. Definitely talk to him, tell him how serious the bacon thing has become and that he has to stop it. If he doesn't, then he doesn't respect you and that speaks for itself.

At the moment, is he just being a bit of an arse about bacon, or is the bacon thing a massive red flag that he's a bullying fucking nightmare. Sometimes people are just stupid, annoying fuckwits and that's it, nothing more sinister.

If he otherwise perfect (I'm using your own word), and lovely and kind and considerate etc. then I dunno. Tell him to stop being an arse over bacon. A bacon arse. Arse bacon.

Violetcloud · 20/03/2015 12:54

Oh God, I get this all the time. It is an internet thing about how bacon is life and all that shit.

I know a couple of people who seem completely normal until you mention bacon, then freak out when then discover I don't eat it.

I think there are brainwashing chemicals in bacon that lie dormant until they encounter the enemy (us non bacon eaters) then activate, making the obsessives go ON and ON about it until we give up and die of boredom.

Really, ditch him. It won't stop. He doesn't make jokes about 'The D' as well does he?

BestZebbie · 20/03/2015 13:03

VioletCloud - I think you may be right, I am vegetarian and the thing that universally freaks people right out is that I don't eat bacon...never salmon, chicken fillets, chocolate-covered ants...always and only 'how do you live without bacon?!?'.

thatsucks · 20/03/2015 13:05

He sounds like a pig, bacon it off now before he grinds you into the ground with this - don't tell him any porkies, just give it to him straight.

loveareadingthanks · 20/03/2015 13:06

'date number 2. Another meal. Whilst sat looking at the menu he said "ooo bacon carbonara that sounds lovely! shall I order us two of those?" (and he was deadly serious'

I really don't like this, and I'm usually rolling my eyes at the all red-flagging that happens on MN.

It's not normal to see something you like on a menu and immediately think the other person should jolly well have that too and seriously want to order it for them. That would have put me right off him. I can read a menu and make my own fucking mind up, thanks. And he'd forgotten that you don't like bacon even though he'd turned it into a massive thing on your first date, which means that everything you say is just going in one ear and out the other.

So that on it's own is making me steer towards the dickhead/bullyboy angle with the bacon thing, rather than socially inept or trying to create a cute 'thing' for you.

BitOutOfPractice · 20/03/2015 13:18

Quenelle: "Get rid. You won't be able to cure him"

and

Number3cometome: "Dump him, or he'll bring you out in a rasher"

These two posts really do bring home the bacon for me

Bakeoffcake · 20/03/2015 13:41

I think you lot should stop hamming it up now.

OneFlewOverTheDodosNest · 20/03/2015 14:23

Have you ever heard of the book The Game OP?

It's a pick-up artist book which gives men techniques for supposedly being successful at dating. One technique is "negging" where the man finds a real or imaginary flaw in the girl and constantly refers back to it to put her on the back foot so he remains in control. The key is to refer to it affectionately so you make the girl feel simultaneously insecure and grateful that you like her.

I dated a guy who negged me - he said "it's so cute that you can't pronounce your R's properly" and he would bring it up all the time despite the fact it wasn't even bloody true! It was like a verbal tick he deployed each time he felt insecure.

It sounds like your guy is like this but bacon is his neg - as absolutely absurd as that sounds. I'd get rid.

FenellaFellorick · 21/03/2015 09:52

seriously? Good god. What kind of dick thinks that's the right way to be in a relationship? Let me find someone and pick away at their confidence until they feel grateful to have me.

Abuser 101

TheIronGnome · 21/03/2015 10:29

When someone's trying to show you their true colours, LET THEM

RandomNPC · 21/03/2015 10:33

He's certainly got 'empathy issues'

PuntasticUsername · 21/03/2015 10:43

YANBU. It's snout to do with anyone else if you like bacon or not and he sounds like a terrible boar on the subject. He sounds as if he thinks his hilarious Thing about bacon is a lot funnier than it really is.

DarthVadersTailor · 21/03/2015 22:10

Why did he stick with you in the first place if he likes it that much?!

Personally couldn't do a relationship where the other person didn't do cheese. Or bacon.

DarthVadersTailor · 21/03/2015 22:12

Perhaps you should make it up with a little bit of bump and g-rind

Buxtonstill · 21/03/2015 22:51

He thought it was ok to make you feel uncomfortable and take the piss in front of people you hardly know for his own amusement? After just 3 months? Life is too short to be spending time with toxic people. You deserve better.

QOD · 21/03/2015 22:56

Come back op ...

FuckingLiability · 21/03/2015 23:03

I have to disagree with a lot of posters who are finding something sinister in the bacon obsession.

Not everyone who can't leave a joke alone is a nascent abuser, some of them are just unfunny knobs. One of DH's friends is the same - he has made the same joke to me for about the last five years because he thinks it will get a reaction. It never has because I know him well enough not to, but it doesn't stop me doing a mental eyeroll every time.

BigPawsBrown · 21/03/2015 23:08

I don't like bacon either. Leathery old stringy rubbish.

winewolfhowls · 21/03/2015 23:32

Have you tried grilling him on this subject?

winewolfhowls · 21/03/2015 23:33

Baconaise is real? I think my flabber may be gasted!

AntiHop · 22/03/2015 02:39

I agree with loveareadingthanks

He tried to order for you on your second date. If I was on a date with someone who tried to order food on my behalf, I'd never go on another date with them.

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