Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to think its rude to be expected to take a parcel in?

102 replies

FinnHuckleBerry · 18/03/2015 16:44

My bil had a parcel sent to my address (birthday present for my sister)

Aibu to be annoyed at he didn't ask me first if it was ok and only told me today when it was being delivered? (I had no idea prior to this morning)

I don't mind doing a favour for people, but this was very much a case of I had no choice but to do it.

OP posts:
Littlemonstersrule · 18/03/2015 18:04

Wouldn't bother me in the slightest but I also take in for the neighbours etc if home. It's just a parcel, so many nowadays are unwilling to help others out with the slightest of things.

FireflyChild · 18/03/2015 18:07

You've then been extremely snippy and downright rude to several posters

I see this kind of sentence said quite often on AIBU and it really irritates me. People will needle away at the poster and say things to wind them up and when they hit back it's like

  • You're so rude/angry/snippy

It very much seems if you are not the OP you can say whatever you like.

Even the comment above whilst the first paragraph came across as nice, you were unable to leave it at that BackforGood you have to continue to needle and prod at the OP.

(OP I agree that I would want to be asked first but it's hard to give an objective view as we don't know your family dynamic)

notsolovely · 18/03/2015 18:12

He should have let you know. But I am firmly in the 'meh' camp. Wouldn't actually bother me.

keepsmiling2015 · 18/03/2015 18:12

You're hard work. Yabu take a chill!

Bogeyface · 18/03/2015 18:15

Wow, what a charmer!

squoosh · 18/03/2015 18:15

Have a brandy and a puff of something herbal.

AgentProvocateur · 18/03/2015 18:15

There's only one rude person in this transaction, and I'll give you a clue - it's not your brother-in-law. Are you usually so uptight about trivialities? It must be wearing c

Seriouslyffs · 18/03/2015 18:16

It wouldn't bother me.

emsyj · 18/03/2015 18:28

If my BIL did this I would huff and puff and be very cross - but that's because my BIL is an arsehole and everything he does gets on my tits. Any other family member/friend it wouldn't bother me in the slightest. I suppose it would be polite to ask first - but I wouldn't view the failure to ask first as 'rude', I think that word is too strong. It's lazy and presumptuous but I wouldn't say rude really. Doing it repeatedly so that you become a sort of unpaid concierge (I'm looking at you, neighbours at No.4 Hmm) then that would be rude.

mateysmum · 18/03/2015 18:28

Yeah maybe he should have mentioned it, but he's you're brother, he knows you're normally at home and it's a gift for your sibling. What's the big deal.

If it bothers you give DB a bit of an earful, ask him not to do it again and move on.

End of, simples. No need to share it with the nest of vipers.

mateysmum · 18/03/2015 18:31

sorry just checked,he's your BinL, but still close family.

JeanneTheRabidFeminist · 18/03/2015 18:32
Confused

matey, she hasn't said any of that.

It's her BIL, and I can't see that she's mentioned anywhere that he knows whether or not she's normally at home.

You're just assuming.

miniavenger · 18/03/2015 18:33

As a one off it wouldn't bother me though I'd expect a thank you. As a repeated thing without asking, yes rude.

If it was me, I would ask in advance part for courtesy and part for logic after all you may not be in.

FireflyChild · 18/03/2015 18:51

It's her BIL, and I can't see that she's mentioned anywhere that he knows whether or not she's normally at home.

You're just assuming.

Well that's MN for you isn't it. People are always making assumptions and saying them like they are fact.

FirstWeTakeManhattan · 18/03/2015 18:53

People will needle away at the poster and say things to wind them up

It does happen firefly but I can't really see it here. The OP was the one being rude and chippy to anyone who thought she was BU, with very little provocation. It is a classic - 'AIBU?' Yes. Well you can all fuck off then.'

Yep, there's the usual banter and failure to sugar-coat, but this is Mumsnet. Maybe she wanted Net Hons? I'll do my best…'Aw hon. Don't stress. He's waaay unreasonable to make you answer the door. No way is this you hon. Hugs. Lol.'

Better?

FireflyChild · 18/03/2015 19:07

I wouldn't know First I've personally never used netmums.

I also feel uncomfortable at the thought of mocking a group of people just because they take a different approach than the the one I would use.

I just like trying to be positive.

Alisvolatpropiis · 18/03/2015 20:06

He should have asked first, really but...he didn't and it's really, really not a big deal.

He expected you to take in a parcel for him not give him a kidney.

TheresACatInMeKitchen · 18/03/2015 20:27

I sometimes have parcels delivered here for family members they don't always ask first but will let me know that they are coming. Its not usually a problem but have made it clear that i wont hang around waiting for a delivery especially if it needs signed for.

If i am here i will take it but my day doesn't stop and if i need to go out i go out.
Also if i miss their delivery i will not run around like a blue arsed fly picking up from the depot(which has been expected before) nor will i deliver said parcel to them at home unless i am going anyway.

If your BIL was expecting you to wait in especially (whether signed for or not) without checking first then YANBU.
But if he wanted delivered it to your address knowing there was a chance you may not be home to take it in and understanding that he would have to collect from the depot then i don't see a problem.

But i am guessing he was expecting you to wait in especially and sign for it??

alongcamespiders · 18/03/2015 21:14

Id be pissed off that id then feel duty bound to wait in for said parcel. What if it doesn't arrive? Would I be expected to wait in for it on subsequent days?

BackforGood · 18/03/2015 22:35

That's very unfair Fireflychief

I have neither 'needled' nor 'prodded'. I've pointed out to the OP what her posts look like to everybody else reading them.

I wasn't 'mocking' the OP at all actually or pulling her up in anyway for having a different opinion on the original question, it was her rudeness in having a go at posters because she didn't get the answer she clearly wanted. That's the issue with this OP.
I read another thread tonight where OP came on asking AIBU about something to do with work. 2 pages in, she acknowledged that virtually everyone thought she was, and thanked them for their opinions. The very point of AIBU is to get opinions from people not directly involved in the situation. If you don't want / are not prepared to even consider opinions that are different from yours, then don't ask the question.

Did I miss the memo that said the OP can be as rude as she likes because people don't agree with her, but everyone else has to just take their rudeness without defending what has been said ? Confused

hmc · 19/03/2015 10:07

I think I've been reading a different thread too BackforGood - OP has had quite the kid glove treatment imo!

mimishimmi · 19/03/2015 10:17

It would be unfair of him, or anyone else, to expect you to alter your plans for the day to receive the parcel. If you were otherwise in though, I guess it would be okay. he should have asked at the point of giving your address as the delivery one though.

londonrach · 19/03/2015 10:21

Yabu. Its family. If a neighbour yanbu.

ImperialBlether · 19/03/2015 10:23

Did you only know about it when it was delivered? I don't think that's a problem as it doesn't put you out. It would be annoying if he ordered it and then told you to be in.

madreloco · 19/03/2015 10:25

I would ask first. I would not care if a family member did not ask first, we are the kind of family who don't need to ask permission for such a minor favour.