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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be enraged by people who organise their purse very slowly and carefully before moving away from checkou

242 replies

derxa · 18/03/2015 00:06

I suffer from irrational supermarket checkout rage. I especially hate people who stand there and slowly replace their card in their purse. I don't mean elderly people either.

OP posts:
ShanVanVocht · 18/03/2015 10:47

Seriously people, we're talking extra SECONDS here. Get some perspective. And an online shopping acount.

scrunchiemount · 18/03/2015 10:49

PS I don't ever SAY anything to these people or huff and puff and them. I just stand there politely. I can seethe inside, can't I?! Then we're all happy.

ShanVanVocht I had to queue for 15 minutes in sainsbury's yesterday because of ditherers, it's not always seconds! I only get a 30 minute lunch break.

If people are getting quietly annoyed and not saying anything, I don't understand what everyone's problem is?!

scrunchiemount · 18/03/2015 10:50

Oh and also I suffer from a disability that means sometimes I get disorientated and forget where I am. I still get cross with ditherers. Even though sometimes I guess I am the ditherer! Big deal.

SomewhereIBelong · 18/03/2015 10:51

if you go to a supermarket you have to queue, I factor that into my trip.

It may be a straight up to the checkout and out type finish, it may be a queue of 10 people, the card reading machines may be broken, the till person may be a trainee. I will have to wait and pay anyhow - a faffer or 2 is not going to make more than 5 minutes difference.

I am not going to get "wound up", "enraged", "hate the people who do this" - queueing is part of shopping, its length is random (faffers or not)

scrunchiemount · 18/03/2015 10:53

my point was that people are entitled to feel wound up if they want to aren't they?! I repeat, as long as they're not being rude or huffy, why all the judging?

JassyRadlett · 18/03/2015 10:56

ihavetogetoutofhere, you may want to read my full posts before singling me out for a reprimand? I don't seethe. I don't huff. I don't jiggle my trolley. I tend to smile. I recognise that I don't know what's going on in someone else's life, just as they don't know what's going on in mine. Which is why I think a bit of reciprocal effort from everyone is super nice, rather than bizarre passive aggressive punishments on both sides.

However, it's a reality that while some people can't help it, some people can - including many on this thread. I don't get why some people think they're more important than others, that's all. And some do tend to wear their sense of entitlement on their sleeve.

Now, if you're a French schoolchild on a school trip near Trafalgar Square, I reserve the right to seethe in silence. Very different.

iHAVEtogetoutofhere · 18/03/2015 10:57

Well, I am frequently aware that people are annoyed with me.

It might not be you personally, but it is the way society is going, that it is just FINE to glare, tut, ram and make aggressive remarks at the disabled slow person in front of you.

Perhaps we should have '2 tier' shopping times, so we don't annoy you?

iHAVEtogetoutofhere · 18/03/2015 11:00

sorry, don't mean to sound grumpy.

Your time is no more or less important than mine, and vice versa.

But I cant help being slow.

You cant see why I am slow.

Many people seem to think it is okay to grump at me.

I dread supermarket shopping.

I am therefore sensitive on threads such as this.

JassyRadlett · 18/03/2015 11:02

Incidentally, my comment about 'behaving like grown ups' was aimed at a poster who said they deliberately slowed down if they felt the person behind them was impatient. Which is just as infantile as huffing and puffing because the person in front of one is taking their time for whatever reason.

Mrsjayy · 18/03/2015 11:02

We all get irrationally annoyed by something don't we ? I'm 1 of the people who annoy the op i also have a co ordination problem due to my disability but I'm seen as a ditherer but this thread is lighthearted and a bit many not to be taken seriously

Mrsjayy · 18/03/2015 11:03

A bit moany*

JassyRadlett · 18/03/2015 11:04

Ihave, I don't think we're in radically different places - not sure why I've upset you?

If I'm annoyed, it's my issue to deal with. Sometimes I'm annoyed because I've got other stuff going on. Not your problem, and I've never suggested it should be yours.

scrunchiemount · 18/03/2015 11:05

I think Jessy has hit the nail on the head. Lots of people can't help it, and I accept that, and that's why I don't say anything! However, there are lots of people who can help it and are just being plain inconsiderate. I could write a whole essay about a list of similar things to this. For example, the two tourists yesterday who stopped dead on the stairs, backing up an enormous crowd of people trying to get on a train, so that they could take a selfie. These are the kind of fuckwits I'm entitled to get annoyed about, and those people are the ones I do say things to.

I do huff inwardly at people who take ages to buy tickets, food etc, but I never say anything. I don't want to be rude and upset someone who might have something going on that I don't know about.

Trufflethewuffle · 18/03/2015 11:06

The ones I find irritating are the people who stand for what seems like ages choosing their sandwich at M&S with their trolley slung out to the side of them blocking three other people from choosing!

yumyumpoppycat · 18/03/2015 11:06

'bleated at' in reference to people with disabilities, that's a bit crap srunchie!

JoffreyBaratheon · 18/03/2015 11:07

Oh yes, Aldis. That last week of the month I think we would starve without Aldis. Love it.

And not just the cheapness of everything but that lob-it-all-in-then-chuck-it-in-bags-later mentality. Totally get that. You don't get the dicks with the behind-them trolleys there, either. They can't do it due to the set up.

I actually enjoy throwing my shopping in the trolley. A giant Iceland ferezer bag, a couple of those massive reusable bags from J D Sports, ready and open in the car boot, tip the lot in and... home in ten minutes. I swear a Tescos or Morrisons shop used to take me best part of an hour. Aldis, we can be in and out in ten minutes. And not only is the moronic behind-you trolley outlawed there, but you rarely seem to get purse-ditherers, either.

ThatCuckingFat · 18/03/2015 11:10

Would never dream of huffing and puffing about it, and I'm never in much of a rush, but it really does wind me up when people have a purse that resembles a small bag and a different compartment for every different type of coin and note and card, and insist on standing at the till to put each 2p, 5p, 20p, pound coin etc away in each separate pocket of the purse, rather than moving two feet to the side to let the next person get to the till.
It's particularly frustrating when you're the cashier, and there's a queue of 10 people waiting behind the person who was just served, giving you the evils.

JoffreyBaratheon · 18/03/2015 11:10

Just remembered I did get stuck behind two preposterously posh-accented students, blocking access to the freezer whilst they tried to decide whether to go for a £1.50 or a £2 pizza the other day. But my student sons are probably doing the same in an Aldis near them so I forgave them. Also, I dropped a carton of milk in Aldis a few weeks back and it exploded all over two (luckily) very polite and sweet students. I felt so bad. I owe the Aldis students some tolerance of their dithering, given my milk exploding exploits.

whattheseithakasmean · 18/03/2015 11:11

I linger on purpose if there is a huffer behind me. I'll slow them down as much as possible. Your time isn't that valuable nor your self that important.

Maybe their time really is that valuable? Maybe they have a sick person at home desperately relying on them to get back a quickly as possible - how do you know they don't?

Their time is obviously more valuable than yours, as you have the free time to passively aggressively annoy harassed and busy people. Some of u have stuff to do and people who need us to do it.

scrunchiemount · 18/03/2015 11:12

yumyumpoppycat I have a disability myself?! It doesn't mean I don't bleat?

As a disabled person I do find the insinuation that we're all saints/need to be tiptoed around quite annoying. I don't need anyone feeling sorry for me thanks! I am just a normal person who happens to have something abnormal going on with my body.

In any case, my bleaters reference was actually aimed at people who say 'but what if they're disabled/sick/elderly??' NOT trying to say the bleaters themselves were disabled.

TheFairyCaravan · 18/03/2015 11:13

I hate the term "bleating". I'm not bleating, I'm just telling it as it is.

Maybe this thread was meant to be lighthearted but it's not funny for some of us. And, all those of you saying you silently seethe, or you smile most of us are aware by your body language, tbh.

I, also, think it's quite ironic that people are calling the "dithers" inconsiderate when all they're doing is putting their card/money/purse away. You huffers and puffers are inconsiderate for making people feel uncomfortable as they go about their business!

Mrsjayy · 18/03/2015 11:14

Ugh students in the supermarket freshers week dithering over which 18p pasta or noodles to buy just pick Ffs

scrunchiemount · 18/03/2015 11:15

thefairycaravan no you're right, I'm not entitled to feel annoyed. While we're at it I'll just switch off all my other feelings too. That's reasonable.

I mean Jesus - if we're being called unreasonable for simply feeling a certain way now even if we don't express it....

TheFairyCaravan · 18/03/2015 11:15

I don't want to be tiptoed around or felt sorry for, scrunchie, I'd just like a little bit of patience and consideration. It's not too much to ask is it, really?

scrunchiemount · 18/03/2015 11:18

thefairycaravan I'm not sure anyone is actually reading what I'm saying.

I'm with you on patience and consideration for disabled people. At no point did I say I wasn't. I merely objected to the fact that I was called crap for calling disabled people 'bleaters'. When actually I didn't say that at all. I wasn't saying that we shouldn't give consideration to them when in supermarkets/general life etc.

I do resent the fact that people feel they have to be nice to me all the time because I have a disability.