to think that when someone says you look well they mean you've put weight on ??!!

[Alfiedoggy]

Bumped into a friend today I haven't seen for a while. Aibu to think that when she says you look well this equals "you've put weight on "?! Or is this my own insecurities

If someone says 'you look well' they probably mean you look well. I always mean the person looks like they are well rested or back from a holiday or wearing something really flattering. It's when someone looks good but you can't immediately put your finger on why.

Anyone who would say it as a snide reference to weight would be a massive twat. Was the person who said it a twat?

"I think it means you've put on weight"

No it doesn't

Yabvu. I use it to mean well as in sparkly eyes, lush hair etc.

I agree with crabby.
It pisses me off that I might compliment someone because they look great and they wander off turning it into an insult.
[sigh]

Some people just look for offence in everything people say.

If I say someone looks well it is honesty never a snide comment about weight gain. I'd suggest giving anybody saying that the benefit of the doubt and assume they mean it as a compliment, even if I was sure they didn't mean it as a compliment I'd act as though I'd interpreted it in that way so as to avoid giving them any satisfaction from thinking they'd upset me.

No, it never occurred to me to think that If anyone pays me a compliment I take it as face value. Why would anyone tell me I've put weight on?!!

If I say you look well, I mean you look well.

I always thought it meant you'd lost weight.

I used to get it ALL THE TIME when I'd seen someone I'd not seen in a while when I had lost a great deal of weight. I don't think it means putting on, unless you were unhealthily underweight and got yourself up to a healthy weight and look healthy for it!

Actually I've heard that's what it meant (probably on here!) So whenever I say it (and it's always meant genuinely) I try to follow it up with something like "have you lost weight?" (If I know they're trying to) or "you're looking really skinny". Bloody minefield!

So YANBU to think that's sometimes what is meant but YA(Probably) BU to think that's what your friend meant!

Around here it definitely means you've put on weight. It's an insult

YANBU I've known people to use this line meaning EXACTLY that - were they bitches? Yes, but people do use it! Obviously, as you say your friend is lovely and that you have weight insecurities, in this instance I'm sure she meant no offence.

I don't think you deserve some of the comments on here though, I've definitely been told I 'look well' by my mother and I know she means 'you've put on half a stone'

Oh blimey, that means I look really really well!!!!

When people say it to me it's usually because I've managed to put mascara on that day

Generally, when I tell someone they look well, it's because they look well. Happy, rested, healthy, etc. yabu

"Around here it definitely means you've put on weight. It's an insult"

Only on MN. In RL it is a compliment. What does that say about mumsnetters?

And fwiw- telling g people they look really Skinny is a PITA. that feels like an insult to me,

Some people may use it to mean "you've put weight on" but others mean "you've lost weight" I know this because I have lost a lot of weight and people who are too polite to actually refer to my weight have told me I "look well". Presumably there are also some people who just mean that you look well and there's no hidden meaning!

Someone told me this a few years ago. I'd never ever thought that and never would. If I said that to someone I'd mean "you look well" as in a compliment!

I have never met anyone who would use that as an insult. It's fucking unpleasant.
It's depressing that people are like that tbh.

I'd use it to mean that someone looks nice and am perplexed as to where the idea that it means they've put on weight comes from. I suppose it's possible that women who are very sensitive about their weight are disproportionately likely to be underweight and so when they do put a few pounds on they look better?

Yes I would take it that way, if someone looks slim they get told. If not they're 'well' - like when pregnant

I wonder what you've put on weight means?

I'd think the same. You look great. You look fantastic - compliments. You look well - you've gained weight. Unless you have actually been ill and are now well.