to think that when someone says you look well they mean you've put weight on ??!!

[Alfiedoggy]

Bumped into a friend today I haven't seen for a while. Aibu to think that when she says you look well this equals "you've put weight on "?! Or is this my own insecurities

YABU. I never mean that when I say that to friends. Usually I mean they look relaxed and happy and lovely. So I think your friend just thought you were looking really good.

agree with sally.

Er, YABU. I would say someone looks well If they look happy/ are looking healthy. Nothing to do with weight. This is completely your own insecurities.

YANBU. I always assume it means I've gained weight as well.

I always think the same as you OP!

I think YABU, although this may be specific to your friend.

I've found that most people I know look better in themselves when they've lost a bit of weight if they were overweight, so that's when I would use that turn of phrase. I can't ever remember using it for anyone who has gained weight generally, only if they've lost weight they couldn't afford to lose due to illness and have put some weight on as part of their recovery.

YABVVVVVU. It is your insecurities. You should learn to be able to accept a compliment. I have never been overweight in my life and sometime I have been told I look well, and I was very happy to have been told that.

The first time was not long after I had had my colours done, and I was wearing colours that really suited me.

If I told someone they looked well it would simply mean that they looked well, nothing else.

Controversial, but I use it to indicate that I think someone is looking "well", ie "good". By that I mean, for example, glowing skin, sparkly eyes, shiny hair etc.

It must be me !!!!!! Just makes me feel fat I can't explain why !!!

I think the same as you OP, probably because it's true.

I admit it's my own insecurities that make me think this.

Too many people with chips on their shoulders about their weight on here. Looking well means just that.

I always thought that. But I also had massive issues with food for years.

Now I take it to mean I'm looking good, skin is clear, hair looks nice, don't look tired. That kind of thing.

YABU Op. Unless this particular friend has a history of been unpleasant in these circumstances then I would say she was giving you a compliment.

Take this the right way but do you have insecurities with regards self body image? Are you possibly looking into this more than you should be?

If they are >70 YANBU if 70> YABU you just looked nice.

I think it depends on tone really but I would tend to assume that's what was meant!

I was very confused the other day when someone said to me 'you've lost lots of weight, your looking well!'

My friend is lovely , she really is. I have major weight insecurities. ...I've just always cringed when anyone has said it to me and felt instantly awful !!!!

FFS I am getting to the point, after spending too much time on fucking MN, where it just seems safer to never ever ever speak to another woman. Ever. In my whole life. The potential for offence seems neverending.

If I say "you look well", I mean that you look WELL - your skin/hair look good or your eyes look bright, or you look happy, or slender and toned, or glowing, or that I'm just trying to pay you a non-specific compliment to make you feel good. HTF does that translate to "you look fat"?

I must remember not to say this to people. I say it when they look well! Little did I know I have been offending people left, right and center.

crabby cross post. We have said similar only you are more crabby articulate.

It's a compliment. People wouldn't use it as a way of saying someone has gained weight. Goodness knows how many times a day I offend people if things like this are taken as an insult.

Alfie. We all have / think things at some point that's unreasonable. Chalk this one down to insecurities and at least you are now aware of it. Hopefully next time someone says it you will be aware that you are possibly been a little paranoid.

So, you project your weight insecurities and make someone who makes what they think is a compliment feel like an insult.

Just take it in the spirit in which is meant. Just smile and say thank you.

It isn't very nice when someone pays you a compliment and you throw it back into their face.

I think it means you've put on weight. It's because they notice the difference and the second of extra looking that causes makes it inappropriate to say nothing...so they something kind.
IMVHO.

Maybe I have weight insecurities too. Froth away everyone!