Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Flexible and made to last.

Meet the Other Phone.
Flexible and made to last.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To feel as if I literally cannot do another day in my life?

105 replies

Ledkr · 15/03/2015 06:32

Dd is just four. Never been a good sleeper but we have had a few brief periods of respite.
The main problem is the earky waking which appears relentless.
Five am today. DH works most weekends so my weeks just run into one another with no break because I'm up early for work in the week.
This mornjng I feel utterly broken.
I have a constant headache, my work suffers, I have no energy for exerciss or socialising, dh is the same as in his days off he gets up to give me a break but I'm stil up at 7 for work. I'm falling asleep by 8.
Occasionally she has a day or two of sleeping in and I return to the happy energetic womN I ised to be which just makes me more sad and frustrated.
I guess if anyone does reply they are in the same boat as its so early Shock just needed a moan as in struggling to be civil to her right now.

OP posts:
MeanwhileHighAboveTheField · 15/03/2015 06:35

It will get better, but you have my sympathy because it is so hard :(

Hopefully when the clocks go forward she will get up an hour later.

PossumPoo · 15/03/2015 06:37

It is hard, the sleep deprivation is a killer and 4 years is a long time.

Dd did this for one summer and l got up at 5 for 3+ months which nearly sent me over the edge. 4 years l can't even imagine.

Original poster
Ledkr · 15/03/2015 06:46

Thanks for replying.
I don't get excited by the clocks as it's never worked before.
I got her a gro clock on Friday but she ignores it.
It's not as if she's just had enough sleep, she spends her whole day exhausted too.
She's my fifth child and has keit me awake more than the others all put together Shock

OP posts:
claraschu · 15/03/2015 06:47

What time does she go to sleep? Do you already go to bed when she does, or is there a reason that you don't?

AuntyDiluvian · 15/03/2015 06:50

This sounds hideous. I've just come out of a phase of bad toddler sleep (of weeks, but mercifully short in hindsight) and YANBU - this is exactly how I felt. As if it would never end and I just couldn't do it any more. You will have energy again one day although I know it may not help to hear it.

Mistigri · 15/03/2015 06:50

My DS was an early waker and we taught him very early that getting up time was 6.30 and he was not to wake us before. IF your dd is a bit young to read a digital clock (though you might be surprised - DS could tell the time at this age) then you can get children's clocks which will tell them when it's getting up time.

Unfortunately if you work and want to remain sane, you have to be firm, we did rapid return for early waking - I took the attitude that I couldn't make them sleep but I could make them stay quietly in their rooms.

I do think that for some children an early night is counterproductive, so you might want to look at your bedtime routine. Neither of mine slept more than 10.5 hours total at night, even as babies, though nowadays (they are 12 and 13) they probably would given half a chance! If you can work out how much sleep they need, you can work backwArds to find a sensible bedtime.

Sirzy · 15/03/2015 06:55

I know how you feel DS is 5 and the same. He did have a lie in yesterday but that was because he was awake from 2-5.

Cbeebies is my best friend. If I stick that on the tv he will lie in bed next to me and watch that for an hour so I can at least cat nap in that time.

HoggleHoggle · 15/03/2015 06:57

You have my sympathies, my ds often wakes at 5-5.30 though he's much younger so I haven't had as long of it as you have.

I'm sure you've tried everything but would an early bedtime for her help? At least in terms of her overall tiredness if not the early waking? We put ds to bed at 6.30, luckily it doesn't make him wake even earlier and just means he tends to get a solid 11 hours that way. So at least he isn't foul and tired (though I can be sometimes).

I know it probably seems an age away, but maybe school will help? I'm sure that's very tiring for children, and I have noticed that it's on the days my ds has had a particularly active day that we occasionally get a blissful 6am wake up.

SummerHouse · 15/03/2015 06:57

Periods of respite make it worse! Flowers op. I have always had early risers. They are both sat with me now watching Mr bean. We do an hour or two of this with hot choc and cutted up fruit and it gives me a change to read or come on here and adjust gently to the day.

Things don't sound quite right for you though. I think you should talk this through with a gp. Perhaps its just tiredness but perhaps more. Depression maybe? Its worth a gp visit right? Hope you get sorted op. Go get a Brew and read all the supportive comments I am sure are going to flow in.

SlapSash · 15/03/2015 07:04

Feeling your pain and then some. It's relentless isn't it. I'm the same, constant headaches, just on auto pilot for the day.

I have 3 dc (5, 3 and 9mo) and the 9mo is just not that in to sleeping! The other two were not like this, I'm feeling like I'm on the verge of losing it. One of the problems here is that because she's had recurring chest infection since Jan, she's in bed with me. Unfortunately she's now used to it and when the infection goes, there's no way on earth she's going into her cot without a fight.

Dreading it.

dragonfly007 · 15/03/2015 07:11

Good morning and happy mothers day!!!!!!

You have my sympathies as I too have a child prone to waking at ridiculous o'clock - normally 5am. Going to bed early makes it worse he is best if going to bed later although extreme tiredness around teatime makes him extremely minxy :-(

Stillyummy · 15/03/2015 07:13

Other than the lack of sleep are you doing ok? I ask because if you had low iron or felt poorly then you will be suffering even more than you would with lack of sleep. May be worth a blood test.

thatsucks · 15/03/2015 07:15

I said on a similar thread yesterday that this stage will pass. My three are teenagers now and the broken sleep and utter exhaustion is a distant memory. (The problem is you just find new things to worry and exhaust you! Wink)

It is relentless and you allowed to feel sorry for yourself and have a good old moan on here. My second daughter didn't sleep through until she was seven. Sometimes I thought I would lose the plot I was so tired.

Thanks
Eva50 · 15/03/2015 07:17

How old are the other children? Could one of them look after her in the afternoon so that you could have a nap? I had to resort to that sometimes with ds3 once he stopped napping but I have a big age gap so it may not be possible for you. Could you take an annual leave day from work, put dd to her childcare and have a chill day to yourself? It would only be a short term fix but you are clearly desperate at the moment. Would she watch a DVD after lunch and you could have a sleep in the same room? Sleep deprivation is the worst.

solidarityplease · 15/03/2015 07:24

Same boat here.
Pre 6 o'clock is a dark place.

After reading that early risers and children who don't seem to need as much sleep are often quite bright, I console kid myself with this.

Just as well really, seeing as the other two people in this house are demented from lack of sleep.

No words of advice, sorry, just solidarity SmileFlowers

addictedtosugar · 15/03/2015 07:25

Would one of the older kids wake up early (for a reward??) one day at the weekend to keep an eye on her to let you get an extra hour or two in bed?

Otherwise, come join us over here and ignore the ones saying early riser can have it knocked out of them by staying firm about being quiet in bed til 7am.

Stick with the clock. It might work in time. Bizarrely, an alarm clock also helped with DS1. Once it sounded, he could get out of bed - just like Mummy and Daddy did. Seemed counter quantitative to set an alarm to keep a child in bed, but he was very chuffed with it.

Brew and Cake

and Thanks as its mother day

Original poster
Ledkr · 15/03/2015 07:27

I think it's the feeling of resentment I struggle with which I know are irrational btw Grin
I can't go to bed too early as I have a 13 yr old who does activities that need transport, help with homework and time with her parents.
We do go to sleep around ten but I'm not home some nights till 6 so by the time I've eaten, tidied up etc it's late anyway.
I had a rant at dh over the phone then came down to lots of nice treats left for me for Mother's Day so feel bad now.
The bedtime thing is Interesting. We do find she wakes earlier if has a late night although on holiday she wakes later but only after a few late nights.

OP posts:
SummerHouse · 15/03/2015 07:30

pre 6 o'clock is a dark place

Indeed. That "we've made it to cbeebies" feeling. It felt like the start of cbeebies at 6 made it official and normal to be up. Wink

antumbra · 15/03/2015 07:30

You have my sympathies.

My DD was the same- for years it was 5am. I truly tried everything.
In the end I simply adjusted my hours to fit with hers. Sleep deprivation is horrible. Going to bed at 9pm is not ideal, but better than living like a zombie.

Once I made that comittment to my sleep and resigned myself to early mornings I had a huge paradigm shift, So much can be achieved in these early hours. Do the supermarket shopping, cook, do laundry or just snuggle and watch crap TV.

Original poster
Ledkr · 15/03/2015 07:33

The biggest problem is that I'm a poor sleeper too so if I'm woken I cannkt go back off and sleeping in the day is impossible.
My 3 eldest have left and two have their own sleepless monsters but do help me.
Dd did get up last weekend which was loveky but I feel sad to ask her too much as she has really busy weekends with dance.
We used to laze in bed but recently she has started to insist on getting up/dressed/baking etc!! She goes on and flipping on untill I give in close to tears Sad

OP posts:
SummerHouse · 15/03/2015 07:34

Yes I think sometimes you need to accept and move on. I spent 45 minutes the other morning crawling in and out of boys room trying to convince 2 yr old to go back to sleep. I should have just got up at 5 and not tormented myself.

PeaceOfWildThings · 15/03/2015 07:34

I can't imagine it either. I naturally wake fairly early, but not the rest of my family. I don't cope well when sleep deprived. There were times when one or other of the children didn't sleep well and I really struggled, especially when DH was away.

I'm sorry to see you're still having so much difficulty. You are so encouraging and helpful on MN, don't like to see you this unhappy.

I could suggest changes in job rotas, evening routine, meal times etc but I'm sure I won't come up with anything new, and my ideas are from the dark ages and with other children. It does get better.

Flowers Happy mother's day.

antumbra · 15/03/2015 07:38

Sorry to sound harsh - and I do accept 5am is very early, but it's not rocket science to work out that if you can be asleep by 9 or 10 the night before then you will not suffer sleep deprivation.

bedraggledmumoftwo · 15/03/2015 07:43

Flowers from me too. I am currently waiting for dh to wake up so I can go back to bed! The thought that I could still have early wakers in three years time fills me with dread-youngest is 1now and we have already bought her a gro clock! We have set both of their clocks to 6am, but very rarely do they both make it till then.

I have recently gone back to work ft and spend my odd days of annual leave asleep while they are at nursery. It is the only way I survive.

SummerHouse · 15/03/2015 07:43

Op I just read your update. I feel desperate for you. It makes me want to come up with solutions but perhaps there aren't any. But worth a try....

Yoga

St John's wort

Blueberries ( not sure about this but saw it in a documentary where the subject ate a punnet before bed with good effect. )

Hope you get through this op.