To feel as if I literally cannot do another day in my life?

[Ledkr]

Dd is just four. Never been a good sleeper but we have had a few brief periods of respite.
The main problem is the earky waking which appears relentless.
Five am today. DH works most weekends so my weeks just run into one another with no break because I'm up early for work in the week.
This mornjng I feel utterly broken.
I have a constant headache, my work suffers, I have no energy for exerciss or socialising, dh is the same as in his days off he gets up to give me a break but I'm stil up at 7 for work. I'm falling asleep by 8.
Occasionally she has a day or two of sleeping in and I return to the happy energetic womN I ised to be which just makes me more sad and frustrated.
I guess if anyone does reply they are in the same boat as its so early just needed a moan as in struggling to be civil to her right now.

A day of annual leave for just you sounds like good advice, can you do that?

We also found using an alarm clock helpful, although when ours were younger we used a Gro clock. They do take a while to get used to and it wasn't successful every morning. We found at the start we had to make the sun come up quite early so she got the idea and all the praise for staying in bed and we then sneakily moved the sunrise forward a bit at a time.

Happy mothers' day.

The op has already said she is falling asleep by 8 so I'm not sure now much use the go to bed by 9 or 10 advice is!

I do go to bed by 10 and I am still constantly tired from the night wakings (mine and his!) and the early mornings. Unfortunatly with genuinely poor sleepers there is often nothing you can do to change that

"It is the only way I survive." bedraggled- really? Can't you simply go to bed early?

Thanks ant maybe you could suggest things to do to achieve that!!
My Dd die not want to be sat on her own each night and twice a week needs collecting around 8 then eats and does homework.
Dh often not home till 12 cos of work.
I'm out all day so need to get stuff ready for morning, put washing on etc.
peace that's a nice thing to say, thank you.
If I'm asleep by 10 I can get 7 hours so I don't think it's so much sleep deprivation as just horrible early starts which make the day seem long and tiring. So by lunchtime you feel the same as you would mid afternoon

Sirsy- I disagree. Night wakenings are not significant. Monophasic sleep is not essential. It is the total amount of sleep that is significant.

Even when I was breastfeeding a 5lb newborn hourly through the night and having a toddler wake at 5am I was never sleep deprived. Overall I still managed 8 hours sleep in a 24 hour period and that is what is important.

antumbra you have obviously never suffered insomnia. Don't you think if going to bed early was helpful or possible the op and the pp would have done that?

I am also holding out for the clocks change, so that 5am can become 6! Of course the lighter mornings will wake them up too, but we can always hope!

summerhouse- you are making things up.

OP has not mentioned insomnia- in fact she sais she is " falling asleep by 8pm". My suggestion is that she does just that.

I feel for you. My two (5 and 3) are nightmares - always up by 6am, frequently 5am. the youngest doesn't like sleeping on his own and will call one of us into him in the night to sleep with him (we go because we don't want him to wake his brother or the neighbours) - he has never slept through the night. And to top it all we've all had a stomach bug this week so have been up another 6+ times a night since Tuesday dealing with poorly children, changing beds etc.

It sucks and offering solutions which require investing time and energy to deal with the problem probably isn't helpful (how I feel). I console myself with the fact that they won't be like this as teenagers. Cut yourself some slack you're exhausted.

Well aren't you lucky autumbra. Unfortunately not everyone finds sleep as easy as you! Night wakings are very significant if they can account for 4 hour chunks of the night.

Yes she should just ignore her other children, not bother doing anything around the house or eating but she would possibly just about get enough sleep so all eoild be fine!

I think the OP did mention insomnia....

I don't think that's true ant I think i read that u cannot "make up" sleep time.
To be honest people are all different and their sleep requirements are all different. Some only need short sleeps, some wake earky, some people are more badly affected by lack of sleep than others.
If I feel fed up of being awake at 5am all the time the that's how I feel.
I'm not sure why it annoys you so much. I'm hsving a good moan and the empathy has got me through another morning.
Thanks

Dd was like this. It is relentless. She's now nearly ten and still gets up early a lot.

Your dd is four, so she's old enough to understand simple rules. My dd had a bunny ears clock and we taught her that she mustn't wake us before the bunny got up. It took some patience but she did learn and it did help. Persevere with the gro clock. Also, no way should she be getting you up to do baking etc! Just say no! At four years old she needs to learn to consider others.

You are not alone. My ds woke before 6 (including one hideous phase of 4:30) until he started school. For me the problem is the early mornings - somehow I feel much much better waking at 7 than 5 even if I have had the same amount of sleep overall.

I have no advice. I just used to stick the TV on and doze next to him. When I had been up half the night with baby dd too it was absolutely hellish.

Anyway, it did pass! Sort of - he still wakes up early but he is now old enough to read until 7am. Think that started working when he was about 5.

At least she's quiet this morning too tired to moan I'm catching up with fortitude whilst scoffing an almond croissant!!

Also, it sounds like your other dd and dh are really supportive so rope them in, younger dd needs to learn to read/play with her toys until a reasonable hour.

Sympathies OP, it is unbelievably draining to cope with this. We had about three months of 4am starts recently (and 3.30 a few times). It has improved to 5am recently but still sucks. She is 17 months.

I've been resisting going to bed at 9pm because I would barely see my DH, and I sometimes work in the evenings. I tend to get through on lie ins at weekends or naps when DD sleeps but it makes the day disjointed and weird and makes me feel abit depressed tbh. I'd like us to join the ranks of the normal!

Commiserations over the sleep deprivation - it is the pits. On the nights I am not put doing my hobby, I literally go straight to bed after I've put the children to sleep. I tidy up, do lunches etc, have a shower then go to bed. I don't always go to sleep straight away, sometimes do a bit of box set watching in bed(!), but if I'm really tired I'm there ready to sleep when I feel like it. It's my temporary solution to sleep deprivation / small children / working. One day I will relax in the sitting room again in the evenings - but this really works for me :-)

Antumbra, I do go to bed early. By the time I finish the bedtime battle with three year old it is nearing 8 and I tidy up/ load dishwasher,maybe watch half an hour tv to unwind and head to bed by 9. Yesterday( in honour of it being the weekend) I tried to stay up and fell asleep on the sofa at 9pm. I was asleep long before midnight on NYE. Last night my one year old woke me a dozen times. She has ridiculous amounts of green snot this morning so I think she was just poorly. But then they are both constantly poorly with starting nursery etc. I have also always suffered with insomnia.

And I work full time, commute three hours a day, dh works away all week so I have to do all the mornings, then commute, get to work at nine feeling like it is lunchtime already, work a full day in a stressful job, rush back to get to nursery before it shuts, throw some food down my neck, chuck the kids in the bath, and then battle with my screaming three year old until she finally goes to bed and I can collapse in a heap. So yes, the odd morning of sleep IS the only way I survive. My part time application has gone in because it just isn't sustainable. I am very happy for you that you aren't suffering from sleep deprivation, consider yourself lucky.

bedraggled I feel for you.

It's awful to get up so early every day. If DS gets up early he's happy for me to lie in his bed with him while he looks at a book or talks at me, for some reason I find this a bit easier than getting up or having him do gymnastics around my bed.

I feel your pain. My nearly 4 year old sleeps through occasionally but also goes through weeks at a time of only 2-3 hours sleep a night. He'll have a power nap in the car then stroll happily into nursery, leaving me to drive to work with one eye shut and spend the day not even knowing my own name.

The only solution for me was changing my job, reducing my hours and working shifts. That means less weekends at home but days off in the week sometimes to sleep while he's at nursery.

Massive sympathy from me. Sleep deprivation is terrible and I can't imagine four years of it.

This probably isn't very helpful, but do you have a tablet you could load some games and videos onto? DS1 has been going through a period of waking earlier than normal and once there's a 6 on his clock he's allowed our iPad. Now every morning I thrust it at him and try to go back to sleep which I'm getting better at with practice.

At first we had to spend some time during the day making sure he knew how to play the games and operate everything (and obviously we've got plenty of parental controls installed) but now he's a pro. It's crap parenting but I find it's really helped.

You have my sympathy too.
Almost 5 years of broken sleep here and there are days when I genuinely don't know how i will find the energy to keep breathing.

Hoping that you get a couple of decent nights soon