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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To hate the fact that my bf owns air guns

90 replies

Mrskeats · 14/03/2015 23:36

My bf (we live together) has several air guns which I loathe with a passion. I hate the idea that he has used them to kill rabbits (which he sees as vermin btw)
He completely rejects my objections to having them and tonight I am livid that he produces on from under the bed and tries to show me it!
I have on many occasions told him that I dislike weapons of all kinds and certainly don't want one in the bedroom. I feel that he could at least be a bit more discreet with them to show at least a little that he respects my opinion.
He also spends a fortune on them whilst we are trying to complete the renovation of our house which I also resent. I am economising by not getting my hair cut whilst he's spending £450 on a new gun.
If I say anything I am accused of 'nagging' which also annoys me as it seems a word applied to women who have any kind of opinion.
I don't necessarily want him to stop his hobby just be more aware that I don't like guns and will he just stop bloody well trying to convert me.
AIBU?

OP posts:
KingJoffreyFanciesDarylDixon · 14/03/2015 23:38

No, you're not being unreasonable.

Did you not know about this before you moved in together?

Original poster
Mrskeats · 14/03/2015 23:40

Yes I did know but he appears to be getting more into it as well as completely disregarding my views.
I think having an air gun under the bed is weird frankly

OP posts:
kinkytoes · 14/03/2015 23:40

Deal breaker for me. I am a pacifist in a big way. I went out with someone as a teenager who then got a job in a gun shop. It didn't last.

rebelfor · 14/03/2015 23:42

My very first boyfriend asked me to go lamping for him on our very first date.

I'd be unable to live with someone who kept guns in the house, too.

Original poster
Mrskeats · 14/03/2015 23:43

What is lamping rebelfor?

OP posts:
MrsTerryPratchett · 14/03/2015 23:43

If I say anything I am accused of 'nagging' which also annoys me as it seems a word applied to women who have any kind of opinion. This one makes me Angry. Never will I have this word used around me. It's misogynist and silencing.

You are entitled to an opinion on whether weapons are stored under your bed. I say that as someone who likes shooting (not animals).

FatCunt · 14/03/2015 23:44

Hang on, owning an air gun isn't a complete bar to being a pacifist.

£450 is ridiculous. He shouldn't be spending that kind of money on his personal hobbies when you're trying to save.

rebelfor · 14/03/2015 23:47

Lamping is holding a torch up to 'stun' a rabbit (think rabbit caught in headlights) whilst he blasted it with his gun...

I thought he was joking, he wasn't.

Original poster
Mrskeats · 14/03/2015 23:48

Thank you. At least I know Im not a complete nightmare then.
I agree Mrs Terry P (am sad about him too tonight) it is silencing
I feel like putting the bloody things on ebay
I have also looked up the amount of accidents people have with them which is not good

OP posts:
goodnessgraciousgouda · 14/03/2015 23:52

Aren't their laws on storing air guns then? I only know about shot guns, but the laws on their,storage is very strict.

to be honest OP I'm wondering what the attraction is here. He is investing more attention into a hobby he knows upsets you - not a deal breaker but shows he likes guns more than you. More than that, he sounds pretty vile. Not only does he know you hate guns, but he brings one into the bedroom and is basically saying "fuck your boundaries".

He then goes and spends 450 on a new gun when you are saving and uses a pretty loaded, condescending shut down when you call him out on it.

he shoots rabbits with an air gun? Does that even kill them properly? With a shot gun its one shot, boom, quick and clean death. With an air gun? Is he even a good shot?

is he always this disrespectful about your feelings?

Original poster
Mrskeats · 14/03/2015 23:57

Mmmmm disrespectful is a word I have used many times to him. I think that he's incredibly stubborn and makes out that I'm the unreasonable one in trying to change him.
As far as the rabbits go I have no clue. Hes been target shooting of late which is something. He is a good shot I think (ex army)
To give some context I am more of a reader/culture vulture type person so all this is alien to me.

OP posts:
MsAdorabelleDearheartVonLipwig · 15/03/2015 00:08

Whilst I appreciate that storing a gun in the bedroom clearly makes you uncomfortable and HIBU to disregard your view, I do also think you are being a teensy bit U in dismissing his hobby. He also shouldn't be spending that amount of money if you're trying to save. I don't think you can really dictate to him what he does with his time or money though. Imagine if he were telling you what to do?

Be thankful it's only an air gun. My dh's last shotgun, although it is an investment, was £9.5k. Confused Hmm

goodnessgraciousgouda · 15/03/2015 00:11

Op to be really honest I think maybe its a question of compatibility.

the fact you have to use the word "disrespect" a lot is very telling.

Original poster
Mrskeats · 15/03/2015 00:17

9.5k for a gun faints
Thankful for small mercies then
Im not dismissing it just want my opinion acknowledged and some discretion shown
Think i might spend £450 on a bag or shoes and see how that goes down...

OP posts:
MsAdorabelleDearheartVonLipwig · 15/03/2015 00:28

Absolutely yes, he is disregarding your opinion. It could have been about anything, not just air guns. I'd go and spend that money on yourself though, that's a brilliant idea. Grin

richthegreatcornholio · 15/03/2015 08:30

They're air rifles not AKs, I think you need to get a grip to be honest. We've always had air rifles kept at hand to shoot squirrels in the garden. Rabbits ARE pests, does he eat rabbits that he's shot? If he does eat them then YABeven moreU.

Pantone363 · 15/03/2015 08:35

You knew it was his hobby before you moved in with him. Presumably you knew he stored them in the house.

When someone shows you who they are, believe them.

TiggyOfQuirm · 15/03/2015 08:38

You're not right for each other. Be like a banana and split.

IreneA78 · 15/03/2015 08:50

I don't think that you are right for each other. You knew he was saying to guns when you met. you are trying to change him that is not fair

raspberryriot · 15/03/2015 08:51

YANBU. My mum was accidentally shot by some lads larking around with an air rifle when she was 15. She was permanently blinded in one eye. Guns are guns and I have never understood why some people take pleasure in using them for a hobby or sport.

Holepunch · 15/03/2015 09:02

He sounds horrid, but I don't think that because of the guns. Rabbits are vermin and unless you eat no meat/wear no leather you can't really object to animals being killed. Owning guns and using them in a way/in places where you could injure a passer-by are completely different things.

His attitude to you and the money would be the deal breaker for me, whether it was about guns, cars or sport.

FyreFly · 15/03/2015 09:28

Oy vey. I have several air rifles and pistols. I am not some strange psychopath only one more unsolicited PPI call away from blowing away the village. I have two actual rifles, which I don't keep in the house as I can't install the strongbox necessary to legally keep them here. I am highly trained and have won several national competitions. So far I have killed or maimed precisely 0 people. I have shot several rats and rabbits. And very tasty they were too (the rabbits, not the rats Grin )!

There are no laws on the storage of air rifles or air pistols, as long as the rifle in question is below 12 ft lb - over that you need a firearms certificate as per regular rifles. Until then you only have to keep them secure (a lockable draw will do) and out of sight. There isn't really a set level of power required to hunt with an air rifle but the recommended level is 11ft lb. However, the law won't care if it's an air rifle if you commit an offence. If you go threatening someone or giving it to a minor then you will be hit with the same penalties as someone doing the same with a true rifle (and rightly so).

I agree he is being ridiculous to spend that much on a hobby when you're trying to save, and I would not tolerate that either, but to be honest it sounds like you're not very compatible anyway. It's not fair to expect your partner to give up his or her hobbies.

MsAdoraBelle - was it a Beretta? I've seen Berettas for over £60k before now!

Original poster
Mrskeats · 15/03/2015 10:16

As I have said earlier I'm not asking him to give his hobby up just have some respect for my views.
I'm v annoyed as he always says things will be cheaper than they turn out to be.
Yesterday, for example, he spends £56 on filling up some air tank FFs.
Then the sight is wrong and he's looking at some for £250.
I want to do other stuff with that kind of money such as take my daughter away at Easter.

OP posts:
Rednotpinkorgreen · 15/03/2015 11:02

I'm a country girl and was brought up around shooting, eating game, etc and guns don't phase me at all.
However you and your bf sound hugely incompatible, and he sounds like a disrespectful arse. Bin him.

pointythings · 15/03/2015 11:07

I don't think he should be blowing £megabucks on his hobby when you are trying to save, but in every respect YABU. You knew this was his hobby when you got together. Rabbits are vermin and very delicious besides. Yes, he needs to be more considerate, but you are being a bit precious about your peacefulness and how awful guns are.