To hate the fact that my bf owns air guns

[Mrskeats]

My bf (we live together) has several air guns which I loathe with a passion. I hate the idea that he has used them to kill rabbits (which he sees as vermin btw)
He completely rejects my objections to having them and tonight I am livid that he produces on from under the bed and tries to show me it!
I have on many occasions told him that I dislike weapons of all kinds and certainly don't want one in the bedroom. I feel that he could at least be a bit more discreet with them to show at least a little that he respects my opinion.
He also spends a fortune on them whilst we are trying to complete the renovation of our house which I also resent. I am economising by not getting my hair cut whilst he's spending £450 on a new gun.
If I say anything I am accused of 'nagging' which also annoys me as it seems a word applied to women who have any kind of opinion.
I don't necessarily want him to stop his hobby just be more aware that I don't like guns and will he just stop bloody well trying to convert me.
AIBU?

PS there are other fora. I'm off back to pprune for the evening...

Personally this is all a storm in a tea cup, I think there must be lots of single bitter people on here who obviously march off into the sunset at the first opportunity. Otherwise there must clearly be many people on here with partners in need of assertiveness training.

I like shooting, my DH (not single) is lovely and assertive. Now I have established my credentials, do I get to have an opinion? Why don't you Google 'hyperbole' for a start?

LOL. I ex-posted with Fucking about hyperbole. Great minds and all that!

Good Lord! You have the prospect of future meals and you are complaining, OP? I love rabbit stew. It's so easy to prepare. My grandad used to shoot rabbits for food years ago and my grandmother showed me how to skin and gut a rabbit. I could do it now and would love to have a fresh one.

As for keeping air rifles, I was shot in the leg by a neighbouring boy. We were oboth about 8....

MrsTerry

When I first started reading this thread, I did think OP was being a bit of a precious twat. My DH shoots, which I'm not at all keen on, but I've come to accept that is him. His gun cabinet is in the loft, but for a long time we had an air rifle in the bedroom to shoot a fox that kept bothering our chickens. (freaked the cleaner out a bit).
I have no idea what he spends on his hobbies, he has no idea what I spend on my hair as we have our bank accounts as well as a joint one for family/house things.
But IDGAF has swayed my opinion some what. My DH loves his guns but if I said tomorrow I want them all gone out of the house, no explanation given, he would find alternative storage if it bothered me that much. He wouldn't just dismiss me as a nag. He would also never Hijack my precious MN!
One post was sufficient to get your point across, arguing with other posters just makes you sound like a stubborn, selfish arse.

I think OP and idgaf need to communicate more and not necessarily on an internet forum.

Objectively - OP was presumably aware of idgaf's hobby prior to moving in? Hardly fair of her to insist he curtails it. Idgaf is also presumably aware of his gf's dislike of guns, hardly fair of him to insist she sleeps with one under her bed.

I dislike guns, live rurally and we have a 12bore (ducks) and rifle of some description bolted to a rack out of sight where I don't have to see them. DH's hobby not mine, though I did get my firearms licence when he bought them so I could handle them safely and legally if I had to.

If idgaf is unaware that they are saving for home improvements then I think air rifles are way down on the list of issues requiring discussion.

idgaf why do you keep the gun under the bed when you know the gun issue is a problem for your GF? Surely it could be kept somewhere else rather than under the bed she shares with you? It smacks of a little act of defiance to me I'm afraid.

And had the 2 of you discussed the budget RE renovations and, if so, are you sticking to the deal? In other words is she going without things that she enjoys so she can save money for the house, while you're spending hundreds on yourself? It sounds that way. Yet if she dares complain about this disparity she's called a "nag" to put her back in her place.

well idgaf I guess your name says it all.

So does the fact that worst insult you can think of for women who take exception to the way you have reacted to your partner's feelings, is "single". Let's mock and deride women who don't have a man, eh? Because that's the worst state they could possibly end up in, thanks to their "nagging" and obstinate having of their own opinions and feelings. That reveals how you feel that as a man, you are ultimately the most important thing.

It's one of the great strengths and values of MN that it supports women to see that being single is OK, and often better than being with a man who devalues or undermines them or doesn't care about their feelings.

Have you two broken up yet???

fwiw I'm married, and have much more of a shooting history than my husband. I'm vegetarian and only shoot clays, but do enjoy it.

your gf is entitled to seek advice from a third party. This is a forum where people are free and able to seek advice on any issue that is bothering them, in much the same way an agony aunt doesn't reply to letters by saying "FUCK YOU BITCH think of the children in AFRICA". There are male equivalents out there too.

the compromise is so obvious that it begs belief that you two haven't stumbled on it yet. Firstly, talk to each other more when saving so both parties understand what level of personal expenditure is okay or not. Secondly, find somewhere you can store your guns which isn't some dick extension cabinet nor under the bed ffs. Also, a gun cabinet is generally a bad idea - seriously please do reflect on it. Guns, even air guns, need to be well hidden and out of sight in case of break ins. I know its different for shots, but we have four guns and keep them very well hidden, and of course cartridges need to be stored separately.

if your gf has a genuine problem with live shooting could you not target shoot instead?

so many compromises, so little willing to take any of them forwards.

to the "dp" - the general mantra here is that if you are unmarried and you are genuinely unhappy in the relationship and don't feel respected then just LEAVE. Life is too short! Its the same for men and women, but,obviously this is a female dominated forum. Being MUMS net and all.

idaf with all respect, I'm a woman who us married with a DH with Asperger (Autistic die trim) and one dc on the spectrum too. (I hope I satisfy your criteria re looking after a disabled child).
But I still found your way to answer to her offensive.

As for bring happy??? Are you for real? Your gf is clearly upset, you have a major disagreement in fire arms but duvet thing us all fine and there us no need to vent?
Mind boggles.

Seriously, my comments regarding single people (not gender specific) were aimed at all the authors who suggested that either I or my OH should run like the wind.

If you choose to assign gender to this then I need to tell you to start your own thread as you're distorting the comments made within this one.

We have long since come to a compromise agreement which is private. Thanks for your comments and feedback as there has also been much common sense.

Hi

Just wanted to put my own update on too as I did actually start the thread.

In a nutshell we have differences over this issue but I did not suggest that it was a deal breaker. The thread has enabled us to talk about the issue sensibly which is good. I don't think that couples have to have the same interests just that they respect the opinions and feelings of the other partner. I do think that the LTB stuff on so many threads is just a knee jerk reaction and clearly not so easy in real life. We both are stubborn and opinionated I think so need to work on this.

We are engaged btw. I just hate the term fiancee. I feel too old for this term really.

Thanks for the support I have had though. This forum does indeed support women in all situations; both single and attached. I agree that the nagging word is used to devalue women btw and is rarely aimed at men.

I'm glad you have updated as it seemed a bit weird that you began the thread, but your OH finished it!

Glad you are talking to one another. Good luck, hope it all works out.

I hope you get things sorted to both of your satisfactions. Your OP's further posts just made him look even more misogynistic I'm afraid. Each to their own.