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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to wonder why you would Christen your child

101 replies

BreacaBoudica · 14/03/2015 16:25

When you're not a Christian yourself? Just got snapped at on FB for asking this of a girl on a forum who asked how she'd go about getting her baby Christened...

My point was - if you're a practising Christian ask at your local church - if you're not, why do it? (Phrased slightly more delicately)

I can't see why people do this - they don't randomly take their kids to mosques or synagogues asking to sign their kids up to other religions they don't follow themselves...

Is it just for a party?

OP posts:
PHANTOMnamechanger · 14/03/2015 16:27

party, presents, photos, family expectations, there are lots of reasons why people do this....

I'm with you - especially as there is a civil naming ceremony as an alternative now so no need for people who do not believe to make the sorts of vows one does at a church christening

TestingTestingWonTooFree · 14/03/2015 16:28

Party, presents, potential for getting into a church school.

wheresthelight · 14/03/2015 16:29

How do you know she isn't a practising Christian?? I am and I had no idea how to go about arranging dd's christening especially as we had not long moved house and I hadn't yet found a church I felt comfortable in.

I think you were rude and quite frankly ot was none of your business

BubblesInMyBath · 14/03/2015 16:30

To get into schools sometimes

Tradition

To please an elderly, dying relative...

Some people don't believe you need to go to church or for that matter know much about your faith at all to be a Christian - being christened as one means you are one and therefore automatically are heaven bound (in their eyes)

FuckItBucket · 14/03/2015 16:31

Party!

Only reason I was christened

TheMoa · 14/03/2015 16:31

Cultural expectations, school choices, family pressure, a sense of history/belonging, a chance for their child to grow in a faith which they might find comforting but feel distant from just now .. So many possibilities.

Original poster
BreacaBoudica · 14/03/2015 16:33

She said she wasn't a practising Christian - I'm not a mindreader! :D

OP posts:
GahBuggerit · 14/03/2015 16:33

local school i wanted ds to attend stated christened children are given preference over non christened, and advised me to get it sorted

we didnt have a party or presents, for the record

HedgehogsDontBite · 14/03/2015 16:33

For lots of people it's part of their cultural heritage even if they don't believe or aren't practising. In the same way people still get married in church or want their child to be Mary in the nativity play.

VikingLady · 14/03/2015 16:33

Neither of my parents regularly attended church but got DB and I christened. Mum in case she wanted to send us to a Christian school later on, and Dad as insurance in case he was wrong about heaven/hell etc.

Original poster
BreacaBoudica · 14/03/2015 16:34

Actually she said she wasn't a Christian, not wasn't a practising Christian - if that makes a difference?

OP posts:
Sirzy · 14/03/2015 16:36

A lot of people although not practicing Christians are cultural Christians so will want to follow Christian traditions.

I do know where your coming from though and was slightly annoyed when one minute an acquaintance was slagging on Christianity on Facebook and the next she was trying to arrange a massive party christening for her daughter.

ThinkIveBeenHacked · 14/03/2015 16:36

Im of the same opinion as you OP. A work colleague is having her baby christened next week, even though she married in a registry office because she "doesnt beleive in God".

I just try and keep my trap shut.

Though a friend did tell me that (1) my babies wouldnt have proper names because I didnt christen them and (2) that the local baby christening/formal attire shop local to us closed down ten years ago because of "people like me". Boo fucking hoo.

MrsFlannel · 14/03/2015 16:41

You're very rude to ask such personal questions.

PurpleDaisies · 14/03/2015 16:45

I am a committed Christian and I wouldn't christen my child. I want them to make the decision get baptised themselves because they want to, not because I chose it for them. We'd have a thanksgiving instead (practically the same but no water)!

StBarnabasEaling · 14/03/2015 16:46

Is her husband a Christian, maybe? Maybe she feels she would like to explore Christianity for her child but is too shy to say so on Facebook?

Anyway, if you want to point your friend to the Church of England answer it is here:
www.churchofengland.org/weddings-baptisms-funerals/baptism/christening-faqs.aspx

The answer is pretty clear: Can anyone have a Christening service? Yes, so long as they have not been Baptized already. The Church of England welcomes all babies, children and families for Christenings - whatever shape that family takes. You do not have to be married to ask for a Christening for your child. You do not have to have been a regular churchgoer - as parents, you do not even have to have been Christened yourselves. Everyone is welcome at their local church. Just ask your local vicar if this is something you are considering for your baby.

MrsTerryPratchett · 14/03/2015 16:46

If there wasn't discrimination on the basis of religion aimed at children in the UK, maybe people wouldn't. Passive aggressive Smile

BoozeyTuesday · 14/03/2015 16:56

Because people are shallow hypocrites.

BackforGood · 14/03/2015 16:59

I agree with you OP.
We occasionally get randoms turn up at our Church to have their dc Christened, and we've never seen them before and we never see them again since.
I do wonder why Confused

cingolimama · 14/03/2015 17:05

A friend of mine (not religious, but I suppose culturally Christian) had a baby after many many years of infertility treatment. She wanted a baptism at her local church because she felt like saying "thank you" and to acknowledge and celebrate the new life in public. The humanist ceremonies she'd attended were just too cringe-making.

Actually it was a really lovely service.

TheFecklessFairy · 14/03/2015 17:11

My son was christened, although I am not a practicing Christian. My husband was a non-practicing Catholic, but my MIL and FIL were practicing. I did it for family harmony as I refused to bring my son up as Catholic, so compromised.

It is part of our cultural heritage - at least it was until lately.

JoffreyBaratheon · 14/03/2015 17:12

I think you could say the same of 98% of church weddings. The last one I went to, the bride had never been in a church since the day of her christening. I suppose churches make money from it, so everyone's happy.

Bowlersarm · 14/03/2015 17:13

Tradition.

And ...just in case. There's no downside.

Dontbugmemalone · 14/03/2015 17:20

I'm an atheist but have had both of my DC baptised. I don't really agree with it but DH and his family are Catholic, There would have been uproar if they weren't.

Maybe that is the reason in this case.

BrowersBlues · 14/03/2015 17:20

My mother recently told me that if your children are not christened that they cannot have a funeral in a catholic church. Is there any way on the planet that this is true?

If it is true I will have to get my DC christened because God forbid anything happens I want to have a funeral in our local church. I am not ashamed to admit that we never go to mass and only go to the church for weddings, christenings, funerals etc.