to wonder why you would Christen your child

[BreacaBoudica]

When you're not a Christian yourself? Just got snapped at on FB for asking this of a girl on a forum who asked how she'd go about getting her baby Christened...

My point was - if you're a practising Christian ask at your local church - if you're not, why do it? (Phrased slightly more delicately)

I can't see why people do this - they don't randomly take their kids to mosques or synagogues asking to sign their kids up to other religions they don't follow themselves...

Is it just for a party?

Oh I agree wholeheartedly. I know a few people who are having Christenings despite being at best indifferent agnostics. One has had an epic falling out with her grandparents because they refused point-blank to 'persuade' their priest to do the ceremony. She wanted to do it because it was lovely and traditional in her words - but couldn't tell you why babies were traditionally baptised. Bloody ridiculous.

Because its part of a cultural tradition?

I understand what you are saying, but as a practising Christian, we would rejoice that a mother and father would make this decision. It may be just this that brings the family to Jesus.

Do you have to be christened to be a god parent? I recently became a godparent in a c of e christening but wasn't asked! I am christened but by another Protestant tradition.

The Anglican Church is our state religion. It has an important function in recognising life's big events: hatchings, matching and dispatchings as the saying goes. It's right that people want to mark the birth of a child in some way and a church service is a lovely way to do this. As a practising Christian I would argue that if you're not a regular churchgoer then a thanksgiving is a better way to go but I recognise that it doesn't have the same cultural significance as a baptism so most people don't want it. I don't think it's a grabby excuse for a party, but a lovely thing to do with your child and a chance to give thanks to something, even if that thing isn't the Christian God, for your good luck in producing a perfect tiny human.

For me, a Christening is my chance to dedicate my children to God and publicly announce to the congregation and our family and friends that they will be brought up in the Christian faith. What they then do when they're old enough to make their own minds up is down to them.

I agree. I'm not religious and haven't had dd christened. My mil likes to periodically remind me what a shame it is and how she christened her three so that they were then 'safe'. Also how dd is the only one not christened out of all of the cousins which is a shame. I'd have given on for a quiet life if it hadn't have been for DH. DH is adamant (and I agree) that it is insulting to Christians to stand in their church and make promises that you have no intention of keeping because you do not believe in them.

Cultural Tradition not withstanding, you promise to bring your child up as a Christian if you christen them; an utter farce if you have no intention of doing so. It seems wrong on all kinds of levels to use a ceremony within a religion you don't follow, and solumn public promises you have no intention of keeping to an entity you don't don't believe exists, as the basis for introducing your child to the world and getting presents

I'm an atheist who was christened asa baby.

you do know that attending church isn't the be all and end all of being a Christian right!? a church is nothing more or less that a group of like minded people gathering in a place to celebrate their faith.

I am not a practising Christian by your definition of it but I am very much am active Christian and my faith is very important to me

What's that got to do with anything Whereis? The question is why non Christians christen, not non churchgoers.

Schooling, for starters.

But if you're not a regular churchgoer how can you be sure that you fully understand the serious promises that you are making as part of a baptism? By your definition you can be a Christian without going to church; you can also be Christian without an infant baptism (infant baptism is not in the Bible, many Christians hold a thanksgiving on the birth of a child and the child is baptised when able to make the decision for themself).

As I said up thread, I support the availability of baptisms for non-church goers if that is what the parents want but I actually think a thanksgiving is more appropriate in those circumstances.

For us, family expectations, wanting to celebrate, tradition. I have to say by the time we got to number 3 it felt a bit silly, but we just did the same for all 3. Not sure I would do it if I had my time again, to be honest. At least they can get married in a church if that is their wish.

And what the religious can't understand is than to the non believers it doesn't matter what promises you are making, or whether it is just a pretty building, because the religious side means nothing (I don't quite fall into this camp, but nearly).

Doesn't really concern me either way but I'm not sure why practising Christians get their children christened either, unless they actually believe that the unbaptised will go to hell.

But if people have their own reasons, their own symbolisms, their own spirituality or experience of God, or hey just want to dress the baby up nicely and celebrate with friends and family then I don't see why it would be a bad thing to do if it means something to someone, even if it isn't what it might mean to someone else.

I think it was fair enough question.

I asked my cousin the same thing.

'so we could have a party' was her reply.

I wanted to say well why not just have a party then but I kept my gob shut.

We had no intention of having ours christened. We never set foot in church unless it's for a wedding or a funeral and no why were we christening them to please anyone else. Bollocks to that!

Poisonedbypen - I think more people get upset by the promises to the congregation rather than the promises to God. I can see why if you don't believe in God it wouldn't really matter that you lied to something you don't believe in, but the promises to a congregation you are stood in front of seem quite hard.

A lot of people have DCs baptised for cultural reasons, that because they aren't practicing Christians, they aren't ready to call themselves something else. It's not all cynical. There's the mentality that "you can call yourself a Manchester United fan without going to Old Trafford every Saturday" applied to christianity.

I'm Christian, DH is athiest, for him it was a "welcoming the babies to the family" event, and a "following family tradition" and "keeping his wife happy" event.

Lots of people have their DCs baptised at our church then never seen again. Sometimes it's because it's linked to a good school, however, I do wonder if those parents don't realise that being baptised in the church linked to the school isn't a deciding factor, regular attendance does matter, baptism doesn't.

I consider myself to be a Christian but I haven't been a church attendee for quite a number of years, partly due to one of my children having a complex disability which means it would be very difficult to take him to church.
I do worry that when dc3 is born we will have difficulty finding a church willing to christen him due to our non attendance but we will want him christened. I do worry that people will judge me for having my child christened when I don't go to church but I would be even more worried if my child became seriously ill and we were asked if we wanted a baptism in the hospital as I wouldn't want to do it like that.
If somebody is truly atheist then I don't really understand why they would want their child christened.

All our children were baptized as babies as we are practicing and believing Catholics. Catholics and others in the ancient churches (Orthodox, Copts etc.) believe that Baptism is how we enter the church and the life of Christ and in obedience to Christ We also have a more communal understanding of our faith than those Christian traditions that developed after the Reformation so a church is not "just a building" but the sacred place where the community gathers to worship. We also believe in the Real Presence of Christ in the Eucharist so we believe that Christ is actually physically present in a supernatural way in the Holy Communion which is reserved in the tabernacle in our churches. When you enter a Catholic church a see the red lamp lit by the tabernacle it is a sign the Christ is actually and truly present, this is why we genuflect (go down on one or two knees) when entering the church building and pray on our knees as a recognition that we are in the Real, actual and living presence of Christ.

A few posters have mentioned that infant baptism is not present in the holy scriptures. The ancient churches have always baptized infants and this is due to what we believe scripture tells us. In the New Testament we read that Lydia was converted by Paul’s preaching and that "She was baptized, with her household" (Acts 16:15). The Philippian jailer whom Paul and Silas had converted to the faith was baptized that night along with his household. We are told that "the same hour of the night . . . he was baptized, with all his family" (Acts 16:33). And in his greetings to the Corinthians, Paul recalled that, "I did baptize also the household of Stephanas" (1 Cor. 1:16).

In all these cases, whole households or families were baptized. This means more than just the spouse; the children too were included. If the text of Acts referred simply to the Philippian jailer and his wife, then we would read that "he and his wife were baptized," but we do not. Thus his children must have been baptized as well. The same applies to the other cases of household baptism in Scripture.

Superexcited - just ask the vicar of the parish church of the parish your house is in - the CofE do have a policy of baptising all children in their parish even if hte parents don't attend, trouble starts when people want their DCs baptised in non-parish churches for other cultural reasons (like "it's the church we got married in" or "its the church all our family have been baptised in" etc).

DS1 was Christened in Hospital because we thought he wouldn't make it. It gave me, my Grandparents and DH's grandparents enormous comfort. DH was against the idea of Christening, but because of the circumstances agreed.

I attend Church with DD, she is 6 and talks about being baptised. If she is still talking about in seriousness I might speak to the Reverend.

Some of you on this thread should read Grace Davie's theories on 'Believing without Belonging'.

I have wondered this.

I think it's party and presents in a lot of cases. Christenings unless you are the parents/v immediate family are worse than weddings IMO.

Thanks mary. I do know that the local parish church will offer us a baptism but I do think we might get criticised by others (not the church) for having a christening when we don't regularly attend church.

We certainly won't be doing it for the party or presents as we will only have about 15-20 very close family members in attendance (including our own children and any godparents). Presents and parties are not important to us.

I'm an atheist. Although I will occasionally identify as Jewish but that's related to my heritage rather than any particular beliefs.

DD's Dad is Catholic and it was important to him to have her christened. I felt a bit uncomfortable with it really but I guess most likely case (to me) it's a splash of water and a certificate and if I've got this whole religion thing all wrong then hey, it's another chance for her.

We didn't have a party though, just a service at church. Missed a trick there.

DD is now a proud Atheist Catholic Jew.