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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

to be fed of people asking why I'm staying part time even though DC is at school now

89 replies

sPJPPp · 12/03/2015 17:18

I get this all the time from work and outside. No one seems to understand I just value time more. Yes I may have a small house, an old car and don't go on fancy holidays, but I'd much rather have it like this than work full time. There just seems to be an assumption that people will go back to being full Time, when I never want to do that.

OP posts:

alwayslookingforsomething · 12/03/2015 17:26

Just say you want to that's all

They probably jealous

BatteryPoweredHen · 12/03/2015 17:28

As long as you are not taking any money from the state to subsidise your choice to work PT, then its none of anyone else's business.

If you are one of these 'its not worth my while to work more hours as I will lose benefits' types (not suggesting that you are), then other people would have every right to challenge you.

WorraLiberty · 12/03/2015 17:36

Just tell them 'Because I want to' and leave it at that.

I disagree with Battery though. The only people with a right to 'challenge' in a situation like that, would be the benefits office.

kwerty · 12/03/2015 17:38

Ignore them; you don't have to justify anything. I went back part time when the DTs were 6, they are 28 now and I'm still part time!

JohnCusacksWife · 12/03/2015 17:39

Surprised people even mention it. I've been part time with school age children for 6 years and think it's only been asked of me once in all that time (to which I answered "Never, hopefully" which kind of ended the conversation).

Moncherry · 12/03/2015 17:40

None of their business. Just tell them to do one. We have a few investments that I manage but I don't tell a nosey acquaintance- she thinks I don't work and looks down her nose at me. Can't stand people trying to meddle in my business.

AnyFucker · 12/03/2015 17:40

I have worked part time since my first was born 19 years ago

Nobody's business but your own

Ardha · 12/03/2015 17:40

Not many jobs with full time hours are really compatible with school start and end times so why should that effect it? My OH expected me to go back to work when my DD started school but, as he works miles away it falls to me to take them to school, pick them up, stay home when they are sick, take them to appointments etc, there is no one else to do this and actually it takes some organising.
Your job, your child, your decision, no one else lives your life.

DozyDonut · 12/03/2015 17:41

I've worked part time ever since i had my babies, the youngest is now 17

And I'm not on benefits.....

Just tell them to f* off

BatteryPoweredHen · 12/03/2015 17:41

Worra He who pays the piper calls the tune IMO - benefits are just funds that have been taken (under pain of imprisonment) from one person and given to another.

All of us have the right to challenge this. Well, those who pay tax...

jennystaffs81 · 12/03/2015 17:41

Tell them to mind their own. My kids are 8 and 13 and I only want part time work. They seem to need me more as they get older.

dixiechick1975 · 12/03/2015 17:42

It is harder to work once they are at school than nursery. I know many mums inc me with school aged kids who work part time. Fwiw I have no intention of going full time again unless I have to and no one had ever asked me.

notnaice · 12/03/2015 17:42

Try having to continuously justify being a SAHM then. It's worse.

I think it is an upward curve where you need enough money to provide you with the things you need and want. It reaches a point where it plateaus and then decreases as the benefit of extra money isn't worth the cost of time sacrificed. Everybodys curve is different. Some can never get to the top point of the curve, some don't want to.

TheresACatInMeKitchen · 12/03/2015 17:46

yes I agree they are probably jealous.

I used to get this all the time when my youngest started school, except I am a sahm. But the best way to respond is with short and blunt answers so they would say things like "Oh so you will be going back to work now" my response was a straight up "No"
Or when they stated "You will need to get yourself a wee job!" I would reply "Why??"

It rather stumped them as I offered no further explanation.

You don't need to justify your decisions, if it works for you then why not?

If it bothers them then its their problem.

rookiemere · 12/03/2015 17:46

YANBU
I work p/t and DS is almost 9 and an only to boot. It was easier when he was younger - CM could keep him for longer, he was happy there, or at least unable to articulate it if he wasn't .

It would only be worth me doing more hours if I went back up to my old grade, and frankly that was stressful and exhausting to do whilst trying to maintain some semblance of a home life and being a semi decent parent.

DH works f/t as a contractor and is unlikely to pick up much more house work home chores even if I did work more hours/ earn more money, so why on earth would I want to do that?

When DS goes to secondary school I'm going to review the situation.

m0therofdragons · 12/03/2015 17:46

I'm getting the opposite, people are always shocked I have 3dc and work pt. As in they're shocked I work at all. It's very odd. Everyone has an opinion when you have dc and seem to like to share their opinion.

Starlightbright1 · 12/03/2015 17:53

I would like to know why anyone thinks it ok to challenge anyone about there finances.

Its no bodies business.

People are far to concerned with what every one else is doing and should focus on their own lives

softlysoftly · 12/03/2015 17:58

M0ther I get that too, the shock I do a job with a lot of travelling now I have 3 under 6. But I love work!

On the flipside I'm on a PT contract which is like golddust in my line of work so even when all 3 are at school they'll have toclaw it out of my cold dead hands

YANBU OP PT to me is the very best of both worlds and I'm hoping to stay this way and for DH to join me until retirement so we can have true work life balance.

Tell them you work as a burglar and there are only so many houses you need to rob in a week.

AndHarry · 12/03/2015 18:01

Everyone who buys things pays tax (VAT).

BackforGood · 12/03/2015 18:02

I'm surprised anyone mentions it either. I've been PT for 17 yrs now - my youngest is 13 - and I don't remember anyone ever asking me when I'm going FT. I've got enough to do to fill my hours, thank you very much.

Grumpyoldblonde · 12/03/2015 18:56

My daughter is 11 and I have done all types of work since she was born, full time, part time, worked from home and no-one has ever questioned my choices, ever. When people have asked what I do they have always responded positively whatever my answer, "I work at home" - "That must be great with a little one" or "I work school hours" - "perfect, must make life that bit easier" and sometimes "I am working all hours right now" - "That must be tricky for you, hope OH helps a lot" or even "I am not working right now" - "well, I am sure you have plenty to do with a family"
Never though have I been made to feel my decisions are wrong, or felt in the least bit judged.

uggmum · 12/03/2015 19:00

Just tell them to bugger off. I work 14 hours a week over 2 days. My dc are 11 and 15.
I get comments all the time about how little I work. It's constant.
I enjoy my job immensely but I love my free time as well.
I go out for lunch and breakfast a few times a week, I exercise and socialise. It's great. I feel I have the best of both worlds.
So I say, own it and enjoy it.

ChaiseLounger · 12/03/2015 19:13

blimey! no one has ever asked me/ commented to me. I've worked 3 days since ds1 and have no intention of changing.

Bellainey · 12/03/2015 19:15

I have been asked this too. Ignore. For what it is worth I tried full time for 6 months and hated it. The extra cash was lovely but it just wasn't worth the stress.

YaTalkinToMe · 12/03/2015 19:17

God people are so rude, I am PT and do not have kids.
Luckily I have never been asked this.
If I was asked why I would give them the eyes, or reply that I had lost my hours or a mixture of both depending who they were.

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