to be fed of people asking why I'm staying part time even though DC is at school now

[sPJPPp]

I get this all the time from work and outside. No one seems to understand I just value time more. Yes I may have a small house, an old car and don't go on fancy holidays, but I'd much rather have it like this than work full time. There just seems to be an assumption that people will go back to being full Time, when I never want to do that.

YANBU I have been questioned as a SAHM many a time. The vast majority of Mums I know either SAH or work p/t. Many have family help or flexible hours/husbands who work from home etc.

I wouldn't feel right if I was working part time and having days to myself when DS was at school whilst my DH was having to work full time.

I don't feel in the least bit guilty about working p/t and having gasp a day off a week whilst DH is at work. I do the bulk of the housework, cooking, shopping, childcare, homework supervision and making sure all the bits are there for cubs, school trips etc, etc. When DS was younger things were very inequitable indeed. My day off makes me a happier, nicer person, less inclined to be bothered when DH heads off for one of his frequent weekends away or driving trips.

It bugs me when people only view household contribution in terms of money or hours worked.

Oh and DS is not fond of school holiday club, so it means that the longest he faces there is a 4 day week during the holidays.

PIL asked me what I was doing about work before I'd actually given birth MIL forgets that she hasn't worked a day since her children fled the nest and they're now 42 and 38!

I work part time and it's still really only PIL who asked if I'm going to increase my days at some point! We don't claim any benefits, an extra day will mean extra kids club and holiday club, as well as fuel, I don't work local. I should ask them if they would be prepared to pick ds every night as they do their other grandchildren but that would probably open up a whole can of worms (long story) I'm not bitter, honestly.

Actually, she's not worked a day since they were born! Not a problem, each to their own, but double standards much!

I still do 3.5 days a week and have no intention of going full time unless we have a change in our financial situation. Having a Friday off gives me a chance to recover and de-stress from the week before the weekend madness starts. Work have not asked me to reconsider my hour either although I don't know if they are allowed to.

only on MN have I ever heard of anyone being asked this.

I've never seen or experienced this irl and I've worked a mixture of full time, part time and not at all since having DS 11 years ago.

www.equalityhumanrights.com/about-us/devolved-authorities/the-commission-in-scotland/legal-news-in-about-us/devolved-authorities/the-commission-in-scotland/articles/women-men-and-part-time-work

i was curious and looked it up. less than a third of women with kids work full time, more than half work part time, the rest dont work. for anyone interested

Battery you're barely able to hide your hatred of people on benefits aren't you!

That's so rude! My husband and I both plan to work part time - we have a great family life and work different days. We could be very high earners but are happy earning a reasonable salary and renting our house rather than buying while our children are small. We are lucky to have this option, I don't feel the need to justify it. My friends are mostly sahm's, but their partners work full time.

My DC have left school and I work part time.

Have never been asked why

Worked 3 days a week since DD arrived. Now DS is heading to school I'm considering reducing hours further. The balancing act of working with school age children is not easy.

They should be minding their own damn business, not asking you about yours op. I would be totally hacked off with people asking me!!

I found it much easier to return to work FT when DCs were small.
I popped them in nursery at 8 and picked up at 5:30

Now they are in school, wrap around care is off site, and it makes it awkward and financially prohibitive.

I prefer to work 20 hrs pt/ week as I can get them to their extra classes, and stay abreast on the homework etc, as well as chipping in financially.

I have been asked about FT, but simply say I was chasing my tail with that once they were in primary, and will review once dcs are in secondary.

If anyone asked me about whether I was on benefits, I'd tell them where to stick their prying nose to mind their own business.

Battery

I'm working part time, I'm a lone parent to a 4yo DS

I claim not only child benefit but also...child tax credit AND working tax credit

tralalalalalala

Stick that in your pipe my darling

VenusRising - I found things didn't particularly improve much when the DC started secondary school. They didn't need taking or picking up (school bus) but there was still after school matches, appointments, sports clubs to to sort out.

The one advantage was that I condensed my hours into four days as I didn't have have the school run to worry about

Agree with other posters - my life is much busier now I have two at school and work PT than when I was FT and they were in nursery / with a childminder. I would like to up my hours, but DH and I both commute (60 miles) and it is difficult enough already to juggle everything. If we worked closer to home, it would be easier.

Also agree that it's very odd people asking you about your circumstances.

OP "I get this all the time from work and outside"

I would be more concerned how people in your life feel they can speak to you like this.
It has been 17 years since I have been employed. Not one person I have met has questioned my decision.

You you lack assertiveness in other areas? I wouln't tolerate people questioning my life choices.

To me this is not about how you run your working life but how others you know feel that they can comment.

When I was a SAHM to two pre-schoolers, I was often told how lucky I was, often accompanied by snide comments. (I was on Prozac, didn't feel very lucky.). Now they're at school, nobody ever tells me I'm lucky or asks when I'm going back to work. Baffling.

When asked when you're going back to work full time, I think a simple 'I'm not' would suffice.

As for 'challenging' somebody who works part time about their benefits, I am astounded that somebody could be so rude!!

Worra, thanks to free speech, everyone has a right to challenge. Just as you are well within your rights to tell them to mind their own business.

battery
Where do people fall when they "pay tax" but also receive 'top up' benefits?
Can they just mumble?

When you have DC there are a lot of people who seem to think its perfectly acceptable to comment about everything, from how your DC was conceived, to what sex it is, what kind of labour you want/have, how you feed your DC, when you return to work, if you return to work, how many hours you work, how close together your DC are, etc, etc. It never ceases to amaze me how nosy people are and how they feel entitled to an answer to these personal questions.

As for working PT at any stage of life - why is anyone else's business? I would never go back to FT work unless my finances dictated that it was necessary. Life really is too short to be flogging yourself to death at work when you have other choices.

I have questioned one person who worked part time and had teenage kids. But only because she was constantly moaning about not having enough money. All the time. So my question was 'why not up your hours?' She didn't want to, which is fair enough, so I told her I didn't want to listen to her moan 18 hours a week. Not my finest hour but it really grated.

To be honest its not about how many hours you work or don't. Sahms get asked why they don't go back, pt working mums get asked when the are going ft and ft working mums (I experienced this myself) get questioned on why they work ft when they gave children. Just seems that some people will question you whatever you do.