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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

to be fed of people asking why I'm staying part time even though DC is at school now

89 replies

sPJPPp · 12/03/2015 17:18

I get this all the time from work and outside. No one seems to understand I just value time more. Yes I may have a small house, an old car and don't go on fancy holidays, but I'd much rather have it like this than work full time. There just seems to be an assumption that people will go back to being full Time, when I never want to do that.

OP posts:

Rjae · 14/03/2015 10:15

So when all DCs go to school they suddenly don't need clothes washing, food cooking and general cleaning done for them. Not to mention clubs, cubs and brownies?

Yes you can work full time and pay someone else to do these jobs and still not be better off financially (ok if you really love your job) or nag a tired DH to cook and clean after work and do the same yourself and both end up frazzled, or tell people to naff off and mind their own business. You don't have to explain yourself to anyone.

TendonQueen · 14/03/2015 10:57

It worked the other way for me and I had questions and raised eyebrows about why I wasn't going part time. As bore says, some people feel they are entitled to ask questions no matter what. My approach now is to simply state the facts with a big smile. If they act surprised, I act surprised that they're surprised. And I can keep it going for longer

tilliebob · 14/03/2015 11:00

I've also worked PT since my eldest was born. My dcs range from 16 to 6 now but no one has asked why I'm still PT, apart from to ask if I'd consider FT as we are so desperately understaffed as a profession just now. Apart from colleagues, friends and family don't give two hoots how many hours I work per week.

Taytocrisps · 14/03/2015 11:18

Op, what way do people phrase the question?

I'm sure we can help come up with some suitable answers

ScrambledEggAndToast · 14/03/2015 11:20

Had I not gone to university when DS started year 1, I would have stayed doing 9.30-2.30pm at least until the end of year 6. No need to justify yourself.

rookiemere · 14/03/2015 14:13

These responses are great, I've always felt a wee bit guilty about working p/t - not so much finishing so I can do school pick up, but more having a wonderful day off on a Friday, that I love.
Maybe I shan't rethink my hours when DS goes to senior school after all .

m0therofdragons · 14/03/2015 21:29

I was thinking I'd change my hours which currently are just over 3 days but could do them over 4 days and be able to do school run but that means 4 days of childcare in the holidays rather than 3 so I have decided to stick to 3 days which gives me 2 days at home each week. I will do housework, join a gym and may do some additional freelance stuff. Dh is happy for me to do this and it's only the two of us that matter - everyone else can keep their opinions to themselves!

TheHiiTCrowd · 14/03/2015 21:32

I tell people "my time is very valuable to me". That is the truth.

Metalgoddess · 16/03/2015 10:36

I work 15 hours per week over 2 days. I regularly get comments over how little I work. I don't care, I hope to never have to work full time ever again. I would rather have less money and more time. It works for myself, 2dcs and my dh. There is no requirement to go full time just because dcs go to school, I don't understand it, they still need taking, picking up, homework, activities, assemblies, school holidays etc.

iwantgin · 16/03/2015 10:41

I don't work at all - and my DS is 17.

No one asks me if I plan to get a job?

Mitlillehus · 16/03/2015 10:53

My mother was asked this when she was 50. She laughed and said 'I've never worked in my life, I'm not about to start now". Times have changed of course.

I'm a single parent to two children and I spend four times as much time parenting as a couple with 1 child. Most of my mum friends are in a couple and have one child. Just the way it's worked out. I also do everything that needs to be done in the house. So, part time work is as much as I can handle.

Sometimes I worry about losing my job and then I end up thinking 'would it be so bad?'.

frumpet · 16/03/2015 12:20

I have had this a couple of times OP , especially from younger childless colleagues or those with children and very helpful families . I work pt because my husband travels a lot with work at very short notice , I work 13 hour shifts and to cover one if DH is away , is a nightmare and frequently involves three different people covering childcare over the 14 hours I am out of the house . I have to ask favours of people and if I do this occasionally and reciprocate all is fine , if I worked ft I would be asking those same people for favours every week and be seen as taking the piss . Childcare isn't available generally before 7 and after 7 .

TreadSoftlyOnMyDreams · 16/03/2015 12:31

"Sorry ? part-time? - this is my second job" [the other one being a parent obv]

"FT Jobs that come with 12 weeks annual leave to cover school holidays are hard to come by"

"I'm studying part-time for my Advanced GS/MNB* Certification". Should take another 2 yrs and then I think I will do a Masters"
*Google Skills / Mumsnet Browsing

KaffeOgKage · 16/03/2015 22:02

That's true frumpet. It sounds like you're moving heaven and earth to work part time and people are still helpfully suggesting you go ft!?

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