to bu towards phone scam callers and wind them up ?

[mrsfuzzy]

i don't think so but you may disagree. this evening i had some foreign sounding guy call up about my 'recent car accident', he wanted details to confirm he had the right person, and advised that i'd be in line for compensation, realising it was a scam, i did not give him any details but let him run with it, and asked how much it would be etc, he was rattling around looking for answers and trying to ask me things about my bank account etc, after about 10 minutes i got bored and said 'oh, by the way, i haven't driven for the past year, and this call has been recorded for the police..' strange how quick he put the phone down. since i started winding them it's surprising how the number of calls have dropped, tps does not seem to work for calls outside the u.k.

I got the accident one. Never been involved in said accident unless I was a asleep.

Was it someone else in the household? Well my 7 year old cant drive and the hamster is too small to reach the pedals and steer. Oh it was 2008 when this happened. My DD was one and it was a different hamster.

"PISS OFF BASTARD"

Oh god I'm in tears!

Phantom I have done the I died one.

Caller: hello I am calling about a recent car accident"

Me: Oh god yes, that was awful

Caller: silence, clearly worried they have actually got someone who was badly hurt

Me: yes I died

Caller: more silence, think it took a while to sink in what I actually said

Me, being utterly useless just burst out laughing and couldn't stop myself.

I definitely need to use some of these though. They are brilliant.

oh they called me about car accident

me: " which one"
him : "the most recent one
me : " I know, but which one, which car?"
him (surprised): "the most recent accident"
me: "where did that happen?"
him (getting frustrated): " your most recent accident"
me: "I know I know but who was driving? was it me or not ?"
him: "just tell me the registration number"
me: "oh I thought you had it. ok, I'll tell you the number plate just tell me which car you are talking about"......and so on

he got really annoyed and hung up. result

Had "windows support centre" calls twice today 02082621858 despite being on tps and having told the first caller so. Apparently tps don't follow up complaints about scams though.

Ever seen 50 first dates? With 5 second tom?

Longest I managed to hold out before someone hung up was 34 minutes.
I kept letting him get halfway through his speech then interrupting with "hi I'm daisy, how can I help"
Was hilarious listening to him speak faster and faster trying to get through it before I "forgot" who he was again

My DH told a window company MANY MANY times that they would not be able to double glaze the front of our house and gave them a full reason why (feature of the windows, curved glass), and MANY MANY times the tele-sales person assured him they would be able to so to shut them he up he made an appointment for a rep to call.

On the evening of the appointment the rep phoned at least three times - stuck in traffic, motorway accident causing delay etc, each time DH said that they wouldn't be able to double glaze the windows anyway but the rep was insistent that they would (BTW we didn't really want double glazing)

Eventually rep pulls on the drive, DH goes out to meet him, rep takes one look, says "we can't do that mate", DH says "I know mate", rep gets back in car and we haven't heard a peep since!!

Best one I've ever heard was a friend of my parents when I was round at theirs.

Salesman: we're calling about double glazing, right now we have offers on..
Friend (listens politely to entire spiel) no, no...actually we just had ours removed.
Salesman. What..?
Friend. We had it removed. You know, after that thing that happened. Terrible that was. I bet a lot of people are going to get theirs removed now. So tragic. hangs up

Ten minutes later, the guy's supervisor is on the phone, begging to know what terrible incident with double glazing was. Friend then goes into backtrack 'gosh actually I shouldn't have said anything, I assumed people knew but apparently not and I could get into a lot of trouble, anyway you have a nice day.'
Ten minutes later the boss's boss rang... By this time we were all in quiet hysterical tears on the sofa, listening to this on speaker...

I had the same accident company phone me. Several times a day for
Weeks.

First time I was really happy on the phone. I will be loaded. Like winning the lottery. Called asked why.. So I said well I must have amnesia cod I don't remember.. Caller muttered something.. And I asked hello is this? Confused caller erm I'm Lisa from accident.. Ok why
You calling me.. She explained again... 20 minutes of fake amnesia.

2nd time I answered to them.. Look this time I am not going to waste your time. I have never been in a road accident. I don't drive. Can
You take my details off your system.

3rd time I answered..
Hi look as I have explained. I am tps registered to stop these unsolicitered calls...
She asked how much I paid for tps.
Said
Nothing it's free..
She started calling me all the fu king stupid bitches under the sun. What type of arsehole am I.

4th a thankfully last time.. And all reported to tps..I erm did a fake
Orgasm..called introduces themselves..
I say oh god, don't stop.
Pause, erm I'm calling about the accident.
Oh yes, yes, just there.
Hello can you hear me?
Moans a ohh yea baby
Ok so this accident..
Lots of odd moans and groans.. Plus my mate was there so he joined in.
So shall we start making a claim for the accident?
Mate interrupts.. Oh crap teens, you gonna have to make a claim.
The condom just broke.

Loving this! I have tried them all. I love doing the accident one where I start crying and whaling out load about OMG who has been involved in an accident, are they OK. Massive amusement value. Going to try reading out my chinese takeaway order next one that rings.

But up until a couple of weeks ago we were getting 10 or 20 calls a day which is not so amusing. Seriously were discussing spending £80 on a caller display phone, or getting rid of the landline completely. They seem to have eased off at the moment tho.

It seems logical that once everyone has caught onto this and we are all answering in this way they will have to stop as it will be such a massive waste of their time.

My mum had one recently asking for my dad. She said 'OK, I'll go get him' and put the phone on the side.
45 minutes later she picked the phone up.
'Are you still there?' She asked.
'Yes.'
'More fool you then.' She replied, and hung up.
My dad loves the Microsoft scammers, but then he used to be a systems analyst. Starts asking them about their computer and diagnosing faults!
We've not had one in ages, I'd like to pretend to be a detective at a crime scene!
And next time I meet a chugger I'm going to say 'I'm sorry I can't, I'm on day release.' Then walk off muttering to myself.

I've started saying Weeping Bicycle Monkeys to them then hanging up.

The Microsoft ones I say i don't have a computer. Or a laptop. Or even a phone

I think it's fair enough to wind up the scammers anyway you like, but cold callers are just people trying to earn a lvivng. I don't suppose they like it much, either...
I was told off by a 'windows' scammer the other day for saying, quite politely, that I was sick of people ringing up to scam me. He said 'Mrscardi now please speak properly!' I got a bit cross then, so that was a bit counterproductive on his part...

I've taken to speaking very quickly in Irish to the chuggers, they don't seem to understand it.

What's more disturbing there is that I live in Dublin...

Hang up on cold callers, who as cardibach says are trying to earn a living in a rather miserable way.

Scammers? End this call or regret it. If they don't - blow the loudest whistle Sports Direct can supply as hard as you can and as near to the mouthpiece as you can get it - without further warning. Then hang up.

Dh plays along with accident calls lastest one i had was last week when i was about to have a quick snooze before nights so i rattled on about this better be important and your not selling anything as you have woken me up on shift work blah blah he said sorry and hung up

I get lots of calls using my madian name ( being married a year) so i just say noone of that name here and hang up

Loving this thread - another one here who tells the chuggers I don't speak English and the callers about the computer that i don't have one.

I have much more fun with the callers about accidents though - last one was a while ago though and went something like this -

Caller - is that mrs Grotts?
Me - who's calling?
Caller - I'm phoning about your accident.
Me - oh, have you heard something about the compensation?
Caller - oh, so you have had an accident?
Me - yes, yes, I've already spoken to someone about it.
Caller, sounding hopeful - so can you give me details of the accident?
Me - well I've already gone through that with the other company who phoned. I'm very excited. They think I could get £72,000 in compensation. What a pity you didn't phone earlier.
Caller - well, I'm sorry to bother you.
Me - no worries, goodbye.

Thirty seconds later, phone rang again.

Caller - is that mrs Grotts? I was just talking to you about your accident.
Me - yes, it's still me.
Caller - I was just phoning to ask if you've signed any paperwork yet with the other company?
Me - oh yes, I have. They sent round a courier with the paperwork just before you called and it's all signed. I'm very excited. Do you think it will be long before I get my compensation?

For some reason he put the phone down.

You are all brilliant, I do try but not as quick witted as some of you..

Hi, I'm calling about a £1000 voucher you could be eligible for.
Me! Brilliant!
I just need to ask you a couple of questions to check your eligibility?
Ok!
How old are your kitchen and bedroom?
2 days!
Sorry?
Yes, 2 days old
Both your kitchen and bedroom?
Yes, just replaced both at the weekend
Oh, sorry you are not eligible for the voucher.
Really? Why not?
We are really looking for over 8 years old.....
Oh, that's not fair......
Sorry.....
Can I try again?
Try what again?
The quiz?
Its not a quiz, its........
And so on...........

Hard of hearing old lady does the trick.

Repeat everything they say in a croaky voice, getting the key words wrong.

PPI - "I've been missold a pecan pie you say dear?"
Double glazing - "Do I have a bubble raisin, what's that then dearie?"

Or just try something random..."Is that you Arthur? Did you remember to get the horseradish? "

I love the "yes, I died" one. That's brilliant.

A friend of mine pretends to be Papa Lazarou from League of Gentlemen, he keeps saying "Is that you Dave?" over and over again, they get really frustrated and usually terminate the call by the time he gets to "Your my wife now".

gingercuddlemonster I snorted with laughter at yours. I am definitely going to use that!!

I stopped a chugger in his tracks with just a look and a finger waggle the other day. I'm pretty bloody proud.
He had started up my garden path while I was feeding lo her tea, and i had a dog who HATES people knocking at my feet. I didn't want to deal with the WW3 of crying and barking that would ensue if i had to go to the door. So i gave him a look that could turn men into stone, and he waved recognition, turned around, and carried on his merry way. Winning!

I heard a good wind up on the radio. The caller did the usual " you had an accident spiel.
Yes. That's right. Rear ended by a sports car . Yello soft top, red hood. Driven by this idiot boy racer, wearing a hat with a bell on. Old guy in his car should be a witness. Big white beard . Should be easy to trace, big police constable came, took down the details, name of P C Plod .. Apparently the caller took all this down religiously. The manager was the one who called back later .... Would love to try this !

"Kate" at "Microsoft" enjoyed a lovely chat with my 2.5 yr old DD on Saturday! She soon hung up.

I also find popping the phone handset in a drawer for 5mins does the trick. The calls stop for a while then.

I just put the receiver down. Life's too short and I am boring.
My DM, who was v v deaf used to sing down the phone to anyone she thought she didn't know. On her very very very deaf days she did it to me

We bought one of those phones where callers have to announce themselves, get no cold calls now but reading this I'm sad now :( I want them back!!!