to bu towards phone scam callers and wind them up ?

[mrsfuzzy]

i don't think so but you may disagree. this evening i had some foreign sounding guy call up about my 'recent car accident', he wanted details to confirm he had the right person, and advised that i'd be in line for compensation, realising it was a scam, i did not give him any details but let him run with it, and asked how much it would be etc, he was rattling around looking for answers and trying to ask me things about my bank account etc, after about 10 minutes i got bored and said 'oh, by the way, i haven't driven for the past year, and this call has been recorded for the police..' strange how quick he put the phone down. since i started winding them it's surprising how the number of calls have dropped, tps does not seem to work for calls outside the u.k.

I do enjoy the computer scam people :) They always hang up on me after a few minutes! One actually phoned my 70+ dm back to tell her off for wasting his time! I was v proud of her!

my Nan is fantastic with scamers, she goes on for ages about her day and doesn't let them get a word in, when they say who they are she goes oh sorry I thought you were my sister. sorry not interested and hangs up. she makes me laugh it's not even an act either

I've had my DD answer the phone to them once (saw the number, knew it was the thing to do). She talked for a few minutes and then asked if they wanted to talk to her friend. She passed the phone over but her friend just looked up, passed the phone back to me and said, sadly, "they've gone!"

I keep the MS scammers on for as long as possible, if I've the time. Figure the longer they're talking to me the less time they have to talk to people like my DM (bless her).

But the last one, well, he started with the "Hello, my name is Chris" thing when it quite obviously wasn't. I told him I'd answer his questions if he told me his real name. Repeated myself about three times before he put the phone down. I secretly hope he really wanted to tell me but was worried about what his supervisor would say...

"My charge rate for discussion is £200 per hour so let me get your credit card number . . . "

Click

I was the rudest I have ever been when I got a ppi call on Saturday morning. I just replied with a disinterested 'nooo' like the computer lady in lLittle Britain to everything she said and when I got bored I just laid the phone down.

prettyfeet, if you are reading this, the point of starting this thread, was to let off steam about these dopey scam callers, and hear other posters feed back on how they deal with them, a lot of people [other than savvy mners of course] get caught out and end up out of pocket and sometimes in deep financial trouble, stressed or worse as a result. if someone learns from these posts how to cope with it then it's got to be good, see it as a public service type of thing !

Quick and easy way to get rid of chuggers is to tell them you all ready donate to the charity. They only get money for new recruits and they can't up your direct debit either. Works for the ones in town or the ones who come to the door.

Have you listened to the Tom Mabe cold call? I can't do links atm but google Tom Mabe homicide detective. Has me in stitches every time.

"My husband makes all those sorts of decisions."

Sadly DH cannot be rude on the phone/to chuggers/ doorstep callers. He has lots of charity donations set up and they call asking to increase the amount he pays -which he does even though he's currently out of work!

Thing is its really hard to 'block and ignore'..

After gettting a few accident ones I went with it....told them the 'accident' was DS falling off his bike...I could hear him typing out all my answers

"What was the nature of the accident?"
......."He fell off his bike"

"What was the injury?"
....."He grazed his knee"

"What treatment did he receive?"
......."I kissed it better and put a Mickey Mouse plaster on"

He put the phone down at this point

I gave in a few months ago to PPI people as they have started on another financial thing...I have had an offer of £30, they put in a lot of work for that

One thing I did click onto and have used since...You are asked if you have been made bankrupt or had an IVA.... So I have used this..."I am bankrupt"...ok, phone put down

Going to do the little Britain "nooooo" thing next time

For years I have put on a fake accent "I not speak English I Norwegian" I have never come across anyone who could speak Norwegian

I just don't have wit, time or patience to do this, but bless those of you who do (and keep the stories coming).

DH used to have fun with the double glazing ones. They would ask if he had double glazing and he'd carefully check each item they suggested to see if it was indeed double glazed.

If he was very bored, he'd ask them to describe what double glazing looked like.

The conservatory, he needed to check several times, too - until they worked out that he was actually describing the greenhouse

We don't get them ringing any more

IgnoreMe - you could try this with chuggers in the street - look them in the eye, and, in clear, BBC tones, state, "I am sorry, I don't speak English!" and walk on, enjoying their bafflement.

I once had a phone company call me a few times, despite me telling them I am not interested. One day I saw red and went a bit loopy.

Me: Can you hold on please, the postman is at the door (waits good 5 mins)
Me: so where were we?
Caller: I'm calling about the new phone offer
Me: Hang on, door rang again. Just a sec (another 5 mins)
Me: Sorry, what is this about
Caller: About a new phone
Me: Ok, so the new phone, does it have a calculator?
Caller: yes
Me: Can I record notes?
Caller: yes
Me: does it have x y z (something every phone has)
Caller: (getting rather impatient) So how about the new phone?
Me: (some 20 mins later): Sorry I dont think I'm interested after all
Caller: Why didn't you tell me in the beginning?
Me: I have been trying to tell your company on numerous occasions

Never heard from them again....

Depends on my mood but sometimes I say "Can I have your password please"...... "what password?"" ......"Oh come on now, you must know we can't talk unless I hear the password, I could be talking to anyone"
Usually causes a long confused pause followed by them hanging up.

When I'm stopped in the street or they come to the door trying to get me to sign up for stuff, I tell them I'm not 18. Despite being 33 and looking 53. They look like they want to argue with me but can't.

This is gold!

My DH loves to wind up cold callers. This was fairly recently.

Them: hello can I speak to mrfern please?
DH: speaking.
Them: oh hello sir, it's Darren from the sales department of x company...
DH: (interrupts) excellent! I want a table and six chairs.
Them: pardon?
DH: a table?
Them: sorry sir but we don't stock tables, we sell...
Dh: well that's a bit of shitter isn't it, I really need that table.
Them: sir, we sell...
Dh: what about a fish tank? The Kids are dying for one and the wife's drilling me about how annoying they are. You know what wives can be like? Bitch.
Them: (silence) errm
Dh: wish I could get a divorce but I can't afford it, she'd take me to the cleaners the money hungry old bag.
Them: (hangs up)

I just sit there like this

I love the stupid computer virus people.

I've gotten very good at pretending to open various programmes on my pc while actually being sat in front of the TV.

I like to pretend to be very very stupid.

You want me to do what? Click on the little circle with the little square in it? The coloured square that looks like a window? wait a minute...

...

...

oh ok

...

I found it

I opened the start menu!

It takes them a very long time to talk me through to opening command prompt and trying to open remote assistance at which point I usually claim I don't have the internet or if DH is about and in the mood I'll tell them it's all got too complicated for me and pass the phone to him and he'll ask them lots of genuine technical questions they can't answer and they'll hang up on him.

I figure the more time they waste with me the less time they have to bother vulnerable people. There are various websites dedicated to scambaiting .

Nope, I do it too . Had the same call-'our records show you had a car accident'.

'Nope, when was this please'
'We don't know but our records show you definitely had one and you're entitled to compensation'
'Brilliant!Well I haven't had one but I sure can arrange one if i'll get some money!'
'No, that's not how it works'
'Well you just said I'd had an accident so will get money so I am going to go and arrange someone to bump into me, right now then I'll let you know'
'Laughs, no, you're down as having already had one!'
'I will have one!I'll just sort it out now!

Phone down.

Chuggers, I haven't come up with a smart answer yet so I still avoid eye contact and run opposite side of street

"I'm pissed"

(I understand they aren't allowed to sign you up if you can't give proper consent or something)

In case anyone really wants to have fun, there are lots of ways to do it...

1. Repeat everything they say, you can tell they try to carry on, but getting increasingly flustered.

1. When you answer and they say I am from x,y, z, say "Oh, is that you Paul/Paula?" and rattle off a recount of the last embarrassing escapade you both had.

1. (Probably the best) Prepare your own sales pitch, it can be for anything ie your old slippers, an international pharmaceutical company, your neighbour's dog etc then try to really sell it to them.

"Hi MsSplodgeses, this is Gary from BT sport."

"Great, how are you today? The reason for my call today, is we are offering a fantastic offer on odd, pre-owned slippers. Do you have a pair?"

"Uhm... no, MsSplodgeses, I am caling to see if you are.."

"Well if you haven't already got some, we are offering a great discount on odd, pre-owned slippers for today only."

"I don't want any."

"You can yellow and blue, fluffy, a size 3 and a size 7 for just £4.99 a month. If you just read out your long card number... hello? hello? Good riddance you pita!"

I have had lots of fun with the windows scammers. Especially when using DD's leap frog laptop!

Be careful handing the phone to a child though. I had one swearing at me once. He thought he'd really upset me by calling me a fucking bitch. I asked him if it was the best he could do?

Friend of mine kept a conservatory salesman on the phone for a good ten to fifteen minutes, going through the various options, asking lots of questions, double-checking things. Then when she couldn't keep it going any further without giving out some firm details to sign her up, she asked: "Does it matter that we're on the third floor?"