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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

to ask if you have any idea what your DP does at work?

263 replies

MrsSeymourButts · 10/03/2015 09:32

God knows what mine gets up to all day. I have asked on occasion - I really have - but I get the urge to start smashing the crockery by the time he finishes the first sentence. I think it might involve a sophisticated way of counting toilet rolls.

AIBU to start making things up (weasel trainer, Beyonce's body double, etc.) if anyone asks me again what he does?

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MrsSeymourButts · 10/03/2015 10:52

six sigma master black belt

WTF?

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MrsPeabody · 10/03/2015 10:53

For those saying that it sounds like stereotyped silly woman, it's possible to take an interest and listen to the human aspect (colleague chat, important meetings etc) without having to grasp the technical details. For example, I don't need to know the details of six sigma at the moment or what products are being manufactured/sold.

feministdog · 10/03/2015 10:54

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MrsPeabody · 10/03/2015 10:55

Six sigma is a project management certification (improvement technique ) with colour coded levels.

chipshop · 10/03/2015 10:55

DP is a journalist like me. A lot of people, mostly blokes, think he has the best job in the world and he spends the whole time trying NOT to tell anyone about it. If he gets cornered in a pub he's screwed.

My DBro on the other hand, he's done his job for 20 years. All I know is he did a degree in business and I think at one stage his company were making wrappers for chocolate bars for a football club. I do ask questions but none of it makes sense. And the rest of our family couldn't tell you either.

MrsSeymourButts · 10/03/2015 10:55

FirstWeTakeManhattan your BIL is definitely cooking crystal meth in Albuquerque. Sorry.

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Idontseeanysontarans · 10/03/2015 10:56

MrsGuy is your DH in marketing too? or Sales. Having met DH's colleagues from the sales dept a few times the talking bollocks and being good at it sounds familiar..

GingerCuddleMonster · 10/03/2015 10:59

The army in a specialised role. I'm not allowed to know half of it, and I don't ask most of the time. I don't want him to tell me he has killed people, though I know he has. As far as I'm concerned it involves running around fields and lots of press ups in Brecon.

SirChenjin · 10/03/2015 11:02

Yes, I know what he does - but it's very technical and tedious work, so I tend to switch off whilst nodding and making sympathetic/interested noises. I like hearing about the office gossip though, or the latest shocking thing his mate Mark has come out with. He also has something to do with advising on Scottish Govt policy, and I like hearing about that because it confirms my belief that they are a bunch of wankers who don't listen to the experts.

StrikesMatches · 10/03/2015 11:03

There are some proper international men of mystery around these parts! I have heard a rumour that a former neighbour of ours from when I was growing up was approached by the CIA because of his job (something financey, lots of international travel). I hope it wasn't true, he was and I presume still is, one of the most boring people on earth and it would be a waste of a really cool job.

SweetValentine, the time scales and the sheer vastness of the implications of what he does boggle me too. He has been known to help mobile networks shut down completely (in the middle of the night when most people are snoozing softly) for repair and upgrade work, and some of his clients are every day names. Both of our Mums are just happy he can update their antivirus software and kick the printer in the right spot to make it work properly. Hmm

WasabiPeace · 10/03/2015 11:03

Dh writes code that makes MRI scanners work.

That's the entire limit of how much I understand about it.

ouryve · 10/03/2015 11:03

I do a voluntary thing about once a month, btw (a PPI activity related to clinical and social care research). I've tried to explain what I do to DH and he doesn't get it at all! Basically, I read about a load of research proposals then go and sit in a stuffy room for an afternoon and that's about as much as he understands!

Offler · 10/03/2015 11:06

My DP spends some of his time digging holes to find things (or not), then writing reports on the holes he has dug. The higher up in the org he goes, the less he has to personally use a shovel, and can delegate to his minions...but still has to write the reports!

I used to work in the same line, but alas, never made it beyond minion.

flippineck · 10/03/2015 11:08

Yes, I know what DH does - he's the UK product manager for a very specialist piece of scientific equipment. I couldn't tell you the exact details though because he has a PhD in the maths that make it work and I don't, but I know that he talks to customers and his salesmen a lot, and swears about head office and his marketing budget. He knows what I do (editing) but again not the detail. We talk about the human side of work (we both work from home) but not the teeny tiny details.

editthis · 10/03/2015 11:09

Unless they have the sort of job you find in a pre-school book – teacher, doctor, zoo keeper – I have no idea how any of my friends or family spend their days. Confused

Shodan · 10/03/2015 11:19

DH talks acronyms a lot, persuades big companies that they want the unique doohickey that his company sells and travels all over the world to do it.

I actually understand the intricacies far more now than in his previous jobs and could make a fair stab at explaining it properly. I don't know why, exactly- possibly because it makes more sense to me.

In my view, it's not knowing about the minutiae of his job, it's caring enough to show interest that matters. Whether that means popping in to see him at the office or remembering the name of an annoying colleague-doesn't matter.

The idea that not knowing every detail is hinting that the little woman can't understand the tricky details of what her clever husband does all day is laughable. No such claim would be made about a man, I'm sure. I mean, DH can't even grasp the difference between knitting and crocheting, but nobody puts him down for it! Grin

JockTamsonsBairns · 10/03/2015 11:23

Dh is a Chartered Surveyor, I know that as he told me when we met and, as far as I know, it hasn't changed since then. I don't exactly know what that involves though Confused. I know he does a fair bit of going to different places to look at stuff. This week, for instance, he's off to the other side of the country to see an anaerobic digestor, but I've no idea what that is, why it would need looking at, and what he expects to see when he gets there. He seems very busy though, loves his job, and is paid fairly well - so I guess that's what matters.

Not sure if that makes me one of those ditsy little women or not. I'm fairly clever myself, although I'm quite certain Dh only has the loosest idea what I do all day. We do talk about colleagues, ongoing particular issues, unexpected funny stuff etc. Just not the actual technical ins and outs of the job.

TheCunnyFunt · 10/03/2015 11:24

Yes I know what my DPs job is, he's a roadworker, he drives all over our county doing things like filling potholes, building manholes, laying tarmac, replacing railings at crossings etc and just any general road repairs, he also goes out gritting and snow ploughing, the worst thing about his job though, is having to clean up after accidents, he has to clear up broken bits of vehicle and sometimes blood.

bringmejoy2015 · 10/03/2015 11:25

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MehsMum · 10/03/2015 11:25

DH was employed to write computer code and not deal with people, and he wants to write computer code and not deal with people, but these days he spends most of his time in meetings NOT writing computer code BUT dealing with people.

And his lunch breaks he spends with the people he likes, moaning about the management, the people he doesn't like and how he never gets to write computer code anymore.

I have very little idea what he actually does as I gave up physics at 13 and he didn't.

If I start talking about what I do, he looks politely interested but his eyes glaze over.

Speaking of which I had better go and do what I do...

bringmejoy2015 · 10/03/2015 11:28

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MrsSeymourButts · 10/03/2015 11:34

Ha ha! I'd love to be able to say I have a black belt in project management (I think).

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farewellfigure · 10/03/2015 11:37

Yes I know what DH does. He designs interactive and pop-up children's books. His books are amazing and I love that he makes books that our DS absolutely adores. Once I rang him and asked him what he was doing. He said he was 'hiding cherry buns in a bedroom'. He was making one of those 'find the object' activity books. It's not a job... it's playing all day.

I had a friend who did something with statistics for the NHS. I never really got to grips with what she did and was really embarrassed. Now she teaches English as a second language and I can picture her at work which is much better.

chillychicken · 10/03/2015 11:37

I do because we work together and I occasionally help him with his job. He roughly knew what I did and I think he thought I had it easy...then I went on Mat Leave and he had to take over my role. He suddenly realised exactly how busy I was and how hard it was to do my job.

Stinkersmum · 10/03/2015 11:40

My dh is a commercial director. Basically gets paid stupid money to procrastinate and read lots, and pick contracts apart.