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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

to ask if you have any idea what your DP does at work?

263 replies

MrsSeymourButts · 10/03/2015 09:32

God knows what mine gets up to all day. I have asked on occasion - I really have - but I get the urge to start smashing the crockery by the time he finishes the first sentence. I think it might involve a sophisticated way of counting toilet rolls.

AIBU to start making things up (weasel trainer, Beyonce's body double, etc.) if anyone asks me again what he does?

OP posts:

0x530x610x750x630x79 · 10/03/2015 10:24

Some of the background code behind certain motorway matrix signs is his.
that is proper mens code, not like my accounting whimsey

ouryve · 10/03/2015 10:25

Mainly his day consists of drawing things in Solidworks to be told that the client has changed their minds and want things big enough to just about fit in a huge box to magically fit in a tiny one, with extras too.

Actually not too dissimilar to some aspects of DH's job!

weebarra · 10/03/2015 10:27

Yes,he's a building surveyor and we've been together since we were students so I know. I also supported him through his APC (what surveyors do to become chartered) so I know more than I need to about surveying.

SweetValentine · 10/03/2015 10:28

Strikes, that's also my DHs job. I can tell you what his job is in a general sense, but my brain literally cannot wrap my head around why it takes so long due to the scale of the projects.

If that makes me a 'little woman' then so be it

MrsRyanGosling15 · 10/03/2015 10:31

Gamerwidow I would love to know what you do for a living. My Husband also has a very specialised role in the nhs that no-one knows about. I'm a nurse in the same speciality and I never knew it existed.

BikeRunSki · 10/03/2015 10:32

Yes, we used to do the same job for different people.

thatstoast · 10/03/2015 10:35

Oh I have a lowly six sigma green belt.

Titsalinabumsquash · 10/03/2015 10:37

I know in a loose sense what DP does, I'm not going to say specifically because he does a lot of work for companies and organisations that most the world hate in some way or another. Most of you will use something he's built or managed in most days online though.

I don't understand the technical jargon though and when he's on the phone to his colleagues talking in what sounds like a foreign language I tend to zone out.

We both have our own skill sets and knowledge on various things, we listen enough to each other. I do know he worked bloody hard to get where he is in his field of work and I'm damn proud of him for it. He's beginning to step back a little now we have kids though thank Christ

ThomasLynn · 10/03/2015 10:37

DP is a Trusts Manager. Basically he looks after people's money when the government says they're incapable of managing it themselves and when there's nobody else who can be trusted to do it for them.

This seems to involve answering the phone and having the same conversation ninety times a day (eg "No, we're not advancing you $900 for a guitar, the last time we did that, you sold it for $50 the next day."), explaining to imprisoned clients that since they're in jail, their benefits are automatically stopped, so no they can't have money for commissary because there is no money for commissary and telling people that no, he doesn't actually have any say about where the client lives, he just gives the guardian a budget and pays the bills.

He also writes a lot of deeply sarcastic letters to other government departments (and receives some crackers in response) and snippy letters to relatives-of-clients-who-aren't-the-guardian informing them that no, he won't be "personally attending to the request" because they're not the guardian.

(I'm a SAHM. He thinks I'm Superwoman. I just pray he never needs to go into the junk room.)

Idontseeanysontarans · 10/03/2015 10:37

DH works in marketing is the marketing department for a smallish local company and doubles that up with entertaining clients and industry bigwigs. So basically a mixture of pernickety computer work, drinking in posh restaurants and travelling to nice countries.
I have the dubious pleasure of dealing with EYFS and small children before and after school.
When we talk about our work it's a competition to see who can last longer before our eyes start to glaze over

ElsaShmelsa · 10/03/2015 10:38

I know what my DH does and he vaguely knows that I'm a Business Analyst. But neither of us has much interest in what the other does. I work from home so DH has never met any of my colleagues (and I've only met one of them), but I know some of his. He doesn't have 'friends' at work though, his work (as far as he's concerned) is purely that, he doesn't like to have anything to do with work when he's not there.

I know he's clever and can build anything and has come a long way since I've known him. But I am the worst person to listen to anything remotely technical... And anything office based would drive him mad, so we just don't talk about it.

hideandseekpig · 10/03/2015 10:39

Well I know what he does yes but on an actual day to day basis I'm not totally sure of the ins and outs...He does tell me and I do sometimes zone out just a little! He basically is an engineer and fixes various complicated machinery. But I'm just not practical at all! To be fair he wouldn't have been able to list the ins and outs of my job either but now I'm a sahm I'm still not sure he quite knows what I do all day!

hellospring · 10/03/2015 10:39

Yes, he's a teacher so it's easy. I can guarantee he has no idea what I do though, he might just about remember my job title....

HiImBarryScott · 10/03/2015 10:40

Yes - we talk about it a lot. I have always found his work interesting (he is an engineer & has worked with rockets and racing cars).

He knows basically what I do, but it is a bit boring & IT technical so we don't talk about it much. I bore myself thinking about it sometimes.

FirstWeTakeManhattan · 10/03/2015 10:40

My BiL is an odd one. A tinted-window car picks him up in the morning, he works until 7.00 p.m. ish, goes to the gym, then cooks intricate vegetarian dishes into the evening to relax (no kids).

He occasionally mentions something like having drinks with European Heads of State, and frequently flies to the Indian subcontinent for a few hours then home again.

We have no idea. It's a family joke, but he'll just laugh and crack a joke about it or something, then give no information at all.

He'll make a great catch for someone who isn't terribly curious about where the bloody hell he is.

NoelHeadbands · 10/03/2015 10:42

My DH's desk is within yelling distance of mine, so yes. I know that inbetween the bits of Important Engineering stuff, he browses eBay, surfs the mountain bike forums and talks shite to me on IM.

Jackie0 · 10/03/2015 10:42

I do indeed.
We are similar in intelligence & education and I have no difficulty grasping what he does every day. He knows what my working day entails too.

OnlyLovers · 10/03/2015 10:44

Manhattan, that sounds SO shady! Is he real, or have you been reading too much John le Carre?

Babyroobs · 10/03/2015 10:44

I tend to switch off a bit when my oh starts droning on about hard drives and servers as I don't understand them and have no interest. I do however expect him to listen to me offload about my stressful work issues, I do try to make it funny though by slipping in funny stories about work colleauges and snippets of gossip.I think he must know about most of my work colleauges despite never meeting them yet I know nothing about his .

plinkin · 10/03/2015 10:45

My DP is a bit of a jack of all trades in his job but his title is planning & proposal engineer and he is also a CAD operator as well. I don't understand the ins and outs of his role but I have a basic idea. He knows i play with spreadsheets all day and moan a lot about my job but that's as far as it goes. Once we're home, we don't really discuss work.

Original poster

MrsSeymourButts · 10/03/2015 10:45

Have to agree with pp, this does sound a bit like poor dim little woman can't understand what clever breadwinner man does all day.

Oh dear, had a feeling this might come up.
As it happens [sigh] I am more the "breadwinner" than DP, have a doctorate, am oxbridge educated, blah blah, and have no sense of inferiority. I just happen to not get what the hell he does at work because ( ) I do not understand everything in the world (or even in my house). Now go and get all worthy elsewhere

OP posts:

MrsGuyGarvey · 10/03/2015 10:46

My Dh does meetings, sometimes in a pub over a pint or two, travelling and talking bollocks. He works very hard at it, loves it most of the time and talks to me a lot about it. In fact so much so that I think I could work with him if my ability to talk crap was as good as his.

Obviously my fantasy husband writes beautiful songs, sings so they hit you in your heart and has a radio show. Actually they're quite similar.

jennystaffs81 · 10/03/2015 10:48

Yes he drives trains

chemenger · 10/03/2015 10:50

First - your DH is Mycroft Holmes, isn't he?

MrsPeabody · 10/03/2015 10:50

I understand what dh does to an extent. We both struggle to explain it to other people. As soon as IT is mentioned we see this face

Have seen a few posts with very similar job descriptions to my DH. It's funny to think some of our dh's probably work together.

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