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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to ask if you have any idea what your DP does at work?

263 replies

MrsSeymourButts · 10/03/2015 09:32

God knows what mine gets up to all day. I have asked on occasion - I really have - but I get the urge to start smashing the crockery by the time he finishes the first sentence. I think it might involve a sophisticated way of counting toilet rolls.

AIBU to start making things up (weasel trainer, Beyonce's body double, etc.) if anyone asks me again what he does?

OP posts:
NotSayingImBatman · 10/03/2015 10:05

DH's mantra for work is "the internet won't browse itself".

How he hasn't been sacked is a mystery.

madamginger · 10/03/2015 10:05

My DH works for a private bank and goes to lots of meetings and every now and then he gets to travel to Edinburgh to the head office, other than that no idea but it sounds quite boring Smile

sebsmummy1 · 10/03/2015 10:05

He is a product engineer and spends a lot of time travelling about the UK and a Europe looking at bits of silver foil, plastic and springs. He loves his job and pretty much never talks about it, which is good for me Grin

playftseforme · 10/03/2015 10:06

Yes, but DH has no idea what I do Hmm

tak1ngchances · 10/03/2015 10:06

Yes my DH is a lawyer who frequently works from home so I know exactly what he does pedantic discussions about terribly boring sub sections of contracts

He struggles to understand what I do which is marketing. He seems to think it's some kind of black magic.

Aberchips · 10/03/2015 10:07

Yes - he puts braces on people's teeth. I would imagine he really doesn't have an accurate idea of what I actually do at work although he knows what my job description is.

Thurlow · 10/03/2015 10:08

I know what DP does all day now, as he's in the police. Well, I say I "know" - he does tell me stuff about his day, but also I can well imagine exactly how he deals with pissed hipsters complaining about the price of their taxi fare at 2am on a Saturday night Grin

His old job was something to do with, um, oil. I think. And trading. So numbers. But there was something about it all being bought and sold before the oil even existed and... yeah, I have up.

I used to say that he was "a transponster"

Having said that, he has absolutely no idea what I do all day at work. No one does, it's not a job that makes an enormous amount of sense to people who've never heard of it.

EbwyIsUpTheDuff · 10/03/2015 10:09

My fiance is a product design engineer. Mainly his day consists of drawing things in Solidworks to be told that the client has changed their minds and want things big enough to just about fit in a huge box to magically fit in a tiny one, with extras too.

countessmarkyabitch · 10/03/2015 10:11

Of course I do, how could you not know what your partner does with a hue part of their life?
Have to agree with pp, this does sound a bit like poor dim little woman can't understand what clever breadwinner man does all day. It's a daft stereotype.

Marshy · 10/03/2015 10:14

Yes because we do a similar job, in different places. Makes it easier to understand the highs and lows. We tend not to talk about work a lot though.

dancestomyowntune · 10/03/2015 10:16

Mine is a butcher.

He gets up at 6am, takes dd1 to bus stop on his way to work. Cuts up meat all day, serves behind the counter, delivers to some businesses, makes sausages/pasties... Finishes at 3pm and the picks ds1, ds2 and dd2 up from school and helps me at home/plays taxi to the kids for the rest of the day.

StrikesMatches · 10/03/2015 10:16

DH is a solutions architect. Seems to involve him getting mad at account managers who sell clients the world on a stick, then he has to make it happen. With computer stuff. It bores the pants off me so I don't pay that much attention. He'd tell people I work with charities (which I do) but he couldn't really tell you what I do with them. Some days, neither can I...

HeadingHome · 10/03/2015 10:17

When we started dating I asked. I truly tried to understand. I couldn't. It's very technical and I'm comfortable not knowing. It wasn't my degree. I know he travels internationally. I know he is flexible enough to help with family things. It sounds important and he has lots of people working for him. He has a great work ethic, is loyal to the company and makes enough money for his family. All these things we share. I'm guessing he knows about the same amount about my job Grin

loveareadingthanks · 10/03/2015 10:17

I understand what he does as I used to work in the same industry in a different role, so recognise all the jargon etc. and he tells me about it in huge fucking detail every evening - including what his colleague ate for lunch, blah blah. I know he just needs to sort of relax and de-brief himself when he first gets in so I try and um and ah and mmm in the right places.

He has no understanding of what I do. He can't get his head round it. He thinks I just sit in an office all day not really doing anything. He thinks anyone who works in an office isn't really doing anything. It does wind me up.

Showy · 10/03/2015 10:17

DH is a copper. I know what he does compared to what the public thinks he does.

I have a friend who does a job I do not understand. It has a vague title like "consultant" but nothing descriptive. He is flown around the world business class, earns a disgusting amount and has contacts. I asked him recently if he's a spy. He laughed. No answer. Occasionally, despite having the same education and home town and childhood, it transpires that he speaks yet another obscure language. I find this out as he takes an important call and slips into fluent Greek for example.

Thurlow · 10/03/2015 10:18

this does sound a bit like poor dim little woman can't understand what clever breadwinner man does all day

Why would it sound like that? If your OH works in a very technical or niche sector, why would you just understand what they do?

I have plenty of friends who work in sectors that are like Greek to me - design, IT development, hedge funds - just like mine probably sounds like Greek to them.

leedy · 10/03/2015 10:18

Yes, of course I do, both work in tech. He's a product manager for a company that does v specialist software for banks so spends a lot of his time talking to people in banks about their requirements for his product and making sure that carries through to the people actually making it. He also understands what I do and has in fact used some of the stuff I did in work in his work.

elQuintoConyo · 10/03/2015 10:18

I know what Dh does. He knows what I do. We never talk about work - well, the odd 'a funny thing happened at work today' type thing, but that's all.

We're not Amy and Sheldon!

thatstoast · 10/03/2015 10:19

I met DH at work and we followed a very similar career path until recently. I've moved to a different sector now. I'll have to ask him to explain what I do just to check he hasn't been zoning out on me.

ouryve · 10/03/2015 10:20

Plugs himself into a computer and codes. Currently/recently working on a public transport management app for a council not in the UK. Some of the background code behind certain motorway matrix signs is his.

Morloth · 10/03/2015 10:20

I am pretty sharp, but there is no way I haven't any idea about DH's job.

It is like code when he tries to tell me about it, to be fair his eyes glaze over if I return the favor so he would be pressed to explain what I do.

He would no more be able to do my job than I could his, for different reasons. DH is smart.

0x530x610x750x630x79 · 10/03/2015 10:22

He struggles to understand what I do which is marketing. He seems to think it's some kind of black magic.

as an computer programmer it is black bloody expensive, bloody pointless magic, who cares what the fuck shade our logo is.

You spent how much on a new logo yet we have a recruitment freeze. (this may be a current raw nerve)

0x530x610x750x630x79 · 10/03/2015 10:22

my hubby wins for the funniest job title "six sigma master black belt"

Scotchmincepie · 10/03/2015 10:24

We met at work, I have quite a good idea of what he does, know work for same large organisation but in same bit. His job is quite stressful and means he knows an awful lot of gossip - but is rubbish at passing it along. I know work in a very small quite isolated team and am starved of gossip so get a little annoyed at this.

I am, mostly, quite interested in what he does and some of it impacts on my job directly. In fact we have meetings with my people and his people.

He thinks he knows what I do, little bit of tension as his expectations of what my team can do are a little out of kilter as to what we actually can do.

Also sometimes one of us will start talking to the other then realise that we have to stop as the other one can't know what you know...and no amount of chocolate cake or offering to wash dishes all week will make the other one tell.

happygirl87 · 10/03/2015 10:24

DH is a research scientist. So I know he works in a lab and does experiments, and has meetings with potential investors, and goes on conferences, and I'll usually hear if he has something special coming up (eg a big presentation). But the intricacies of the experiments are harder to grasp, because he has a PhD in his field and I havent done anything related since A Level. I think that would be true if I were a man and he were a woman though....

He knows I'm a solicitor, and that I work on contracts, and esp if I have a big deal on- I was amused when I told him I was getting a new headset and he asked if I spend a lot of time on the phone (because it's c. 5 hrs per day) Grin

So I guess there is knowing what they do eg to describe at a dinner party, and knowing what they actually do on a more minute level (eg are they mainly at a desk, or in a board room, or up a ladder?)

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