aibu to anti joint accounts ?

[mrsfuzzy]

my 2nd husband and myself had a joint account with around £1000 init at the time of our split, i drew out half [i'm not greedy] to help pay bills, whilst waiting for benefits etc to kick in as i was a sahm to 4 young dcs, and he kicked off big time as he wanted all the money in the account to pay for his solicitor ! - 3rd dh wanted a joint account -for himself, and no.4 says no way, he had a very bad experience with his ex and money. what do other mners think about it ? sounds good on paper but what happens if it goes wrong ?

We have a joint account for savings. We put in what we can when we can. Most (probably 90% or more) comes from DH as he earns far more than I do, but things like my inheritance went into it when an uncle passed away last year. We buy big-cost items from it, but mostly we save it for 'what if' stuff. I think the last time we used it was when we needed some work done on the roof.

We also have a christmas account we put a few hundred pounds into each month, so that everything over christmas is taken care of wihotu leaving us broke in January.

We are paid separately, though, and each have certain bills coming from our personal accounts, including pensions. Whatever is left is play money.

No idea what would happen if we broke up; I paid 50% of the deposit on the house, though, and still contribute to the mortgage, so hopefully I'd be able to buy him out and stay here with the DC's.

Entirely joint apart from our individual ISAs (but we both have the same amount of money in each). It would be a faff to do it any other way, especially since I'm the breadwinner and have no desire to dole out housekeeping to my DH on a regular basis. If he ran off with the money in our joint accounts, I'd still have plenty to live on.

Spouse running away with all the money is not the only thing that can go wrong. There is also 'spouse dies'and 'spouse gets debilitating illness'. In both these cases it is helpful to have instant access to funds and bank records.

Equally, if the resident's association and e.g. The local scouts would trust me not to run away to the Bahamas with the kitty, I would like to think that I can come to some kind of arrangement of mutual trust re: our joint bank account with my spouse!

Although I do appreciate that the situation is different if more assets are at stake.

Interesting thread, again showing that every relationship is different.

We've had joint accounts for 23 years, during the high disposable income child free years and the broke years. Always worked for us, we don't argue about money. But we have very similar views and trust each other completely.

You can be anti-joint accounts if you like, but they work well for some. For us, all income goes into a joint account, which is used for bills, family days out, basically anything that is not for us as individuals.

From that joint account, an equal amount is transferred into our sole accounts. Those are our 'discretionary spends' and neither queries what the other spends theirs on.

It works well for us. If we split up, it would be divided fairly, along with the rest of our assets, although not necessarily 50/50. We trust each other to not rip the other one off.

We have joint accounts but separate ISAs and premium bonds because they have to be. We trust each other implicitly, husband would give the clothes off his back, as I would for him, so not for one second would I worry about him clearing off with all the money and I spend far more than him

"Always worked for us, we don't argue about money. But we have very similar views and trust each other completely."

This is probably key TBH. In that situation, either way will work perfectly well.

We have the same situation as Apatite1, although I do all the financial paperwork and I doubt DH actually knows exactly how much he has in ISAs. I could easily clean him out and he wouldn't know what he'd lost. Not sure I'd be happy if the roles were reversed though, not because I don't trust him but because it would feel stupid to put myself in such a vulnerable situation.

The thought of having a joint bank account makes me feel very twitchy. Which is a sad attitude to have I suppose but I have made some very bad choices with men and I don't know....I just wouldn't feel comfortable with it unless I'd been in the relationship a very long time. Then again, I'm not married, don't have children and don't intend on doing either for a long time, if ever so having a joint account isn't very important. If I did get married or have children I would always want to have my own separate account regardless.

Pandora- I probably thought the same when I was in your position.

Roll forward a few years- I gave up my job and became a SAHM- with not a penny income.

My OH worked hard and often away on business trips. We had no family support- he would have been unable to do his job without me at home to care for his family.
Should that mean all the money he earns is his alone?