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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

"Benefits are a lifestyle choice for so many these days"

999 replies

Bellerina2 · 09/03/2015 11:31

I'm on the bus and two women behind me are having a long conversation about perceived benefit cheats and one of them just said the above phrase. WIBU to hit her over the head with a rolled up copy of the Guardian??

But seriously, it's so depressing that people think this. Well done to the government and likes of the Sun and Daily Mail for convincing people that those on benefits are leading some sort of charmed life Sad

OP posts:
Annahmolly · 09/03/2015 16:57

I used to work for social services and I have seen what kind of "lifestyle" people on benefits have. Sure, some people may not see how else they could make a living, if they have mental health problems or cannot cope with a job for other reasons. But surely when you call something a "choice", you need to consider the context.

NickiFury · 09/03/2015 17:04

I don't know one single person who lives solely off benefits except me Smile.

I have two children with significant SN though, so I am certainly not work shy. So if I take myself out of the equation then I don't know anyone. It's not at all common but it suits our government to let everyone believe it is and gives everyone a group to focus their dissatisfaction on. And we are all falling for it.

PtolemysNeedle · 09/03/2015 17:05

^Op you mentioned benefit cheats, which ofcourse is a choice.
A case in point is someone I know who doesn't work and neither does her husbands. She is his carer,he is a blue badge holder. He also owns a shop so they have a 14plate car and at least 4 holidays per year thanks to cheating the system.^

How do you know they are cheating the system?

DLA is not means tested, you are allowed to earn as much as you want though owning a business and still claim benefits that are supposed to compensate for the extra costs related to having a disability.

Your post is horrible, and from what you have said they have a lot more moral right to claim benefits than you have to live entirely on benefits just because you don't want to work in 'child care hours' - whatever that is.

Lurkingforanswers · 09/03/2015 17:05

ilove How dare insinuate I'm a liar? The husband in question claims disability benefits, the wife claims benefits as a carer,FACT. He owns a shop and obviously doesn't pay tax or he'd be caught out. I have no idea if the shop's in his name or not. He is somebody who knows how to play the system, that's how he has gotten away with it so far. It boggles the mind but so does the many cases you hear of people who are severely disabled and are expected to work.

PtolemysNeedle · 09/03/2015 17:09

I think people fail to remember on here perhaps how bad some schools are, how poorely educated some students are, how bad everything is for them, they leave school with - nothing.

I dont berate the young for doing it when we are a country, have shat on them in terms of shite education, poverty of aspiration and flooding the country with other young people from abroad to do the jobs they could have done, and to top it all, tell them they are lazy

These things are not the fault of the rest of the country, they are the fault of parents. If children leave school with no aspiration, that is because their parents haven't given them any. If they have learnt nothing at school, it is because their parents haven't valued or supported their education. There may be issues that are hard to deal with like lack of aspiration and negative behaviour amongst a child's peers, but that comes back down to parents doing a bad job.

This country has not shat on these people, their own parents have.

Thereyouarepeter · 09/03/2015 17:11

A lot of these people who "choose" the benefit lifestyle are completely unemployable. I know lots of them, you wouldn't trust them to do anything. A lot of the people I went to school with on low wages now are good decent confident people with skills and intelligence.

PtolemysNeedle · 09/03/2015 17:12

Err, Lurking, did you miss the bit where I said not all benefits are means tested?

It is not necessarily cheating the system to have your own income and to then claim disability benefits. Unless you know the intimate details of your disability, you may well be mistaken. That is not calling you a liar, it's pointing out that you can claim benefits, and pay tax, and have a decent income of your own.

BishopBrennansArse · 09/03/2015 17:12

Lurking did you not read the post that quite clearly states you can get DLA/PIP regardless of income? It's not means tested.

If the wife earns less than £110 a week she an claim carers allowance.

So yes, you can own a shop and get disability benefits.

Hope this helps.

So now you can be informed in your prejudiced opinions.

Dawndonnaagain · 09/03/2015 17:15

Lurking he is allowed to claim disability benefits and own a shop. His wife is allowed to be a carer and work. So, how is he fiddling it?

NaiceVillageOfTheDammed · 09/03/2015 17:18

I wrote a long post about my cousin and then deleted it all. Sure I'd be flamed and jumped on about 'not being caring' and 'not understanding about others personal problems'. Nobody chooses to live on benefits etc... You're right, for some it's not a choice it's a way of getting by in a difficult period in their lives. For B it really, really is a choice.

I also think he's an abusive sh1t. He and his partner have 3 kids about 4/5 years apart. He's only able to doss because of her and the kids.

Lurkingforanswers · 09/03/2015 17:21

To all of you who seem to think I don't know what I'm talking about. Did you not read my post properly? I'm talking about fraud, not someone claiming legitimately. He claims sickness benefit due to not being fit enough to work. Now do you understand? In the town I live benefit claimants are high and high sickness benefits claim rate. I don't have enough fingers and toes to count the amount of people I know of who claim sickness benefit when they aren't ill or who claim job seekers but work as delivery driver etc for cash in hand. Choose to believe me or not but that's a fact.

Fuckup · 09/03/2015 17:22

yanbu.

Its a Hobson's choice really isn't it, you can't talk about 'benefit culture' without talking about the poor state of education and the employment market.

Lurkingforanswers · 09/03/2015 17:24

Naice I imagine you would be flamed as I have been. At no point did I say that everyone who claims benefits is a fraud or it's a lifestyle choice for all. I just stated that it is for some and gave an example of one of many who do see it as a choice.

Shineyshoes10 · 09/03/2015 17:24

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Fuckup · 09/03/2015 17:24

people will survive however they can, if there is no jobs about most people would (rightly) 'choose' to go on benefits rather than curl up in a ball and starve themselves and their family.

CupidStuntSurvivor · 09/03/2015 17:25

I agree that for some it's definitely a lifestyle choice. There are an awful lot of people in my area who chose to live on benefits rather than earn their own money.

And I'm saying that while I'm on benefits. It really annoys me because these types of people are the ones that have made being on benefits so shameful.

I do however think that people who make such sweeping statements like that need to take a more objective look at the system. Most people on benefits claim out of necessity rather than choice.

ilovechristmas1 · 09/03/2015 17:25

ilove How dare insinuate I'm a liar? The husband in question claims disability benefits, the wife claims benefits as a carer,FACT. He owns a shop and obviously doesn't pay tax or he'd be caught out. I have no idea if the shop's in his name or not. He is somebody who knows how to play the system, that's how he has gotten away with it so far. It boggles the mind but so does the many cases you hear of people who are severely disabled and are expected to work

calm down dear,i did not say you were lying but i think you are guessing this couples finances,you say you have NO idea if the shops in his name,so you are guessing

FACT he may be claiming contribution ESA and be in the support group,so dosent matter about the shop and like i said DLA is not means tested

you are guessing and have admitted it in your cack handed post

Dawndonnaagain · 09/03/2015 17:29

lurking I've just re-read your post and you didn't mention sickness benefits. I am fairly sure you do not know them, their bank account or their medical records intimately, so either they are illegally claiming sickness benefits, or they are claiming disability benefits. Which is it?

Sortmylifeout · 09/03/2015 17:30

To the poster who said youngsters are leaving school poorly educated with no qualifications - that is very rare indeed. Schools try very hard to ensure not a single pupil leaves without a qualification. In fact they are judged on it in inspections and league tables etc.

Honestly schools, teachers and young people can't win. Every August there is an outcry when pupils have done better than ever in exams with the criticism that exams must be getting easier!

noddyholder · 09/03/2015 17:31

I am always amazed at the 'lifestyle choice' thing. I have been seriously ill with renal failure and cancer and the benefits system is really difficult to fiddle I would think and the lifestyle it affords in comparison to work is woeful Plus even when on deaths door they are very hard to get! The forms and letters etc are a nightmare

Lurkingforanswers · 09/03/2015 17:36

ilove and Dawn I have explained to both of you that these people claiming fraudulently is fact. Neither of you want to believe this. Dawn I have seen you post on many threads and you seem to have a bee in your bonnet when it comes to disability benefit. I thin k you take it to personaly when your situation is legitimate and I doubt anyone would think otherwise. As for you ilove I have no idea why your getting your knickers in a twist, maybe you're the wife? ;-) Leave you ignorant ladies to it.

PtolemysNeedle · 09/03/2015 17:37

NaiceVillage, I have a cousin the same, she timed her children so that she could live entirely on benefits for over a decade. Her partner stays with her mostly, but still keeps his address as his Mums and uses it as enough of a home that she can claim as a single parent.

Granted, she isn't very well educated and doesn't have much aspiration, but she genuinely can't see that she's done anything wrong. In her mind, if the system allows it, then it must be ok. The government wouldn't make it so easy for her to do something that was morally wrong, would it?

graciepoole · 09/03/2015 17:37

For some people benefits are very clearly a lifestyle choice. For those for whom the only viable employment is unskilled, repetitive , low aged then many will see being on benefits as a decent alternatoive - same standard of living ( or better, mostly) with zero input.

We do need to make work more attractive whilst making being dependant on benefits decidedly less so. Someone upthread mentioned stigma. It does depend where you live. In my area and social circle it very much is a stigma. People are expected to work. In others, not so much.

PtolemysNeedle · 09/03/2015 17:41

Completely agree with that point Gracie, there are areas where there are so many people doing the same, that if you go to work and leave your kids with someone else for no more money than you'd get on benefits, you are seen as a weirdo.

ilovechristmas1 · 09/03/2015 17:41

getting mine in a twist,not really just pointing out your ignorance of the benefit system

you sound jealous and spiteful

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