Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Protection built in.

Meet the Other Phone.
Protection built in.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Aibu to think the parents of the Syria girls need to take a bit more responsibility?

374 replies

exmrs · 09/03/2015 08:19

On the news today the parents are demanding an apology from the police as the police knew apparently a friend of theirs had already gone to Syria and the police didn't contact them.
I find it strange that they don't take a bit more responsibility to the situation.

Why didn't they know what was going on in in their daughters lives?
They are the parents and they seem to blame everyone but themselves or the girls.
To blame the police is ridiculous , the girls made the choice to go

OP posts:
nochocolateforlentteacake · 10/03/2015 16:23

I've not heard of that...all of it?

So looking less likely they've gone off on a whim to help starving babies then?

I've packed thermals, a flack jacket and marmite myself.

26Point2Miles · 10/03/2015 16:24

well guess they remove it because some man has told them to,they just do as they are told without question I guess

nochocolateforlentteacake · 10/03/2015 16:27

Ah you are a beautiful gem. You must hide your beauty from the evils of the looks of men. Marry a warrior and get a free pass to heaven where you will spend eternity fiddling your thumbs whilst hubby whoops it up with his hareem...

I think I'd join a convent...

OttiliaVonBCup · 10/03/2015 16:29

It's a wedding night tradition.

limitedperiodonly · 10/03/2015 16:32

That list looks like any young woman's list of essentials to buy at Boots at Gatwick.

I'm not getting into an argument about whether they were going on a girly holiday - they were clearly not. But the list in itself is perfectly ordinary and no cause for alarm.

In fact the inclusion of make-up suggests a touching faith that they'd be allowed to show their faces, if only to their jihadist hubbies.

limitedperiodonly · 10/03/2015 16:38

Removal of body hair is not an exclusively Muslim tradition confined to wedding nights. Some of us filthy infidels do it too.

I wouldn't mind betting that when a thread about removal of body hair and the influence of Western ideas of porn and the patriarchy appears on MN some of the people raising (plucked) eyebrows have different attitudes.

I can bet btw, because I'm not Muslim.

nochocolateforlentteacake · 10/03/2015 16:44

No tampons or asprin either.

26Point2Miles · 10/03/2015 16:46

limited its inline with an isis 'list' that's issued,thats why its not 'ordinary'

scatteroflight · 10/03/2015 17:43

The complicity of the parents in their childrens' escapade is slightly off-topic. They may have had a direct part in aiding them with money or making arrangements. Or they may have played an indirect part with creating a home atmosphere of profound religiousity and disloyalty to their host nation. But this is neither here nor there.

What is relevant is the complete lack of shouldering any sense of responsibility. And worse the utter shamelessness in trying to apportion blame upon anyone but themselves.

Their behaviour today in Parliament, and particularly that of their solicitor's, screams that they are after some sort of compensation claim from the police.

It's hard to draw a parallel here because let's face it there isn't one in our modern world. But let's imagine some London Irish families whose teenage children had run off to Northern Ireland to join the IRA and commit acts of terrorism. Can we imagine them posturing about police culpability? Or going in front of a Select Committee to complain that the authorities hadn't spotted their children's latent Irish Nationalism and extremism? I very much doubt it. There would be embarrassment, shame, contrition and what's more gratitude that the British authorities were doing everything they could to track them down.

Inkanta · 10/03/2015 17:53

There seems to be an assumption that these girls came from normal loving homes, but it is possible that they may have had difficult relationships with their parents where there wasn't a healthy attachment and open communication.

lalalonglegs · 10/03/2015 18:16

It was reported on the BBC news that the girls stole family jewellery to fund the trip for those speculating their parents paid for them to go Hmm.

Puzzledandpissedoff · 10/03/2015 18:39

It's reported that the families claim they were just "ordinary girls" who showed "no signs of radicalisation" ... but that if they'd received the apparently all-important letter they'd have "done more" to monitor her activities - and this despite the colossal publicity around their friend's earlier departure

Would they? Or is it more likely they'd have shouted "Islamophobia" and claimed a perfectly decent family were being persecuted? After all they don't seem very keen on taking responsibility for anything so far ...

AlPacinosHooHaa · 10/03/2015 18:42

Removal of body hair is not an exclusively Muslim tradition confined to wedding nights. Some of us filthy infidels do it too.

I am naieve Blush I never heard of any bride totally de hairing before wedding night.

Its the totally part that has shocked me.

26Point2Miles · 10/03/2015 18:46

so what good do they think compensation money will do? will they go out there after them? send 'brothers' over there to bring them back, using the money?

money is pretty useless in this situation isn't it

limitedperiodonly · 10/03/2015 19:30

money is pretty useless in this situation isn't it

It is. We aren't going to send the cavalry over to Syria to get these girls.

The families may be angling for compo. They might get it from the Met. They and their solicitor's insistence on an apology from the police seems to indicate that.

They are definitely lashing out in a very hostile environment, fuelled by their solicitor.

His belligerence reminds me of Imran Khan, the solicitor of the Lawrence family, who also had a career to forge and has done it.

That doesn't mean Imran Khan is a bad person.

But he's done quite well for himself.

Neither does it mean that this new solicitor is a bad man, but I did see the career-making signs.

It doesn't mean these people are bad, stupid or should be absolved of all responsibility but I would defy any of you in the centre of this storm to cope well.

straighttothepoint · 10/03/2015 19:53

Cameron has said the police won't be made scapegoats - let's hope he sticks to his word.

I think the solicitor and family are think kerching

londonrach · 10/03/2015 19:55

Parents must have known!

AlPacinosHooHaa · 10/03/2015 19:56

I was staggered by solicter saying in patronising way - what do we know of 15 year old girls brains then trying to compare a liking for Justine bieber as mad as a liking to leave your family, travel to far far off totally different land than the one you live in, become a bride or whatever at 15, to a mad violent thirsty jihadi, who is persecuting and torturing people, and possibly take over some torture and persecution detail too.

But hey, you know, we cant explain justin bieber so...Confused

BreakWindandFire · 10/03/2015 20:33

Exactly AlPacino.

Apart from the beheading videos, genocide, ethnic cleansing, mass rape, enslavement and crucifixions how were they supposed to know Isis are bad?

ConstantCraving · 10/03/2015 20:46

So ... scrolling back a few pages to those saying the police didn't make a mistake, it seems they did - and they have now apologised to the families.

CommanderShepard · 10/03/2015 20:59

It strikes me as a phenomenally stupid idea to send a letter home via teenagers asking for permission to interview them and not follow it up when you don't hear from anyone either way. And my only qualification is having been a teenager.

That said, the only people to blame here are ISIS.

straighttothepoint · 10/03/2015 21:17

Looks like the girls were stealing jewellery etc to get money ..... And the parents didn't realise.....

Sallyingforth · 10/03/2015 21:19

And who was buying £1000's worth of jewellery from 15/16 year olds without asking questions?

straighttothepoint · 10/03/2015 21:21

They also need to have a stiff word with the travel agent too ....

2lol2lol · 10/03/2015 22:14

(interesting) the police advised school not to tell anyone where the girl had gone, so parents really had no way of knowing.
I keep thinking that there are 100s of Muslims kids at that and nearby schools who have successfully resisted the temptations of being groomed & recruited. Blame lies with the kids.