Parenting lows?

[WasabiPeace]

I think I've reached mine tonight.

Ds2 is three. Still in a pull up at night.

He pooed. In his pull up. This never happens. He came downstairs crying and wanted me to change him in my bedroom. He then had a major shitfit (pun intended) because I'd taken the poo away and he wanted to see his messy bum.

I'm tired. It's been a long week and a busy weekend so far. He was at fever pitch regarding the whole 'messy bum' thing.

So. I'm so sorry. But I wiped poo from the wet wipes back onto his bum. He did a brief squat and turn to the mirror, pronounced it a success, let me wipe his bum and re dress him and had gone back to bed.

HOW DID MY LIFE BECOME THIS?

Please tell me you have sunk lower than this? Please?

DS was a puker, had a weak gag reflex and used to projectile vomit at the drop of a hat. When he was about 7 or 8 months I took him to a messy play session. All fun and games, sat DS in a big tray of rice crispies, didn't notice him eating them until he gagged on one and projectile vommed. On another baby.

Oh, and the time I went to the pub with some friends, after baby-group. Took DS up to the bar (he must have only been about 4 months) and thought the barman was giving me weird looks for drinking wine while in charge of a baby. Except actually he was giving me a funny look because DS had pulled my top and nursing bra down and I was a whisker length away from full nipple out.

Bfding ds who had a sickness bug at 3am while vomiting into a bucket as I had caught said bug.

Another 3am event - Ds following a feed and winding him over my shoulder vomiting - when I stood up sick was dripping sick front and back, in my hair and every sheet and pillow case was caught too - so fun cleaning and changing ds , me and changing the bed too - we had to laugh (more exhausted hysteria though)

Dfiance when undressing 9 month old ds for a bath had perfected his move of holding ds against his chest and tummy while deftly pulling nappy down and off - this time however ds had poohed so dfiance had poo smeared all over his tummy and ds was covered from the waste down.

Projectile new born poo up my arm mid nappy change.

DD (2) had been sick just after dinner, so we cleaned her up and she seemed to feel fine and was hungry again. Gave her some weetabix and put her to bed with a towel down just in case.

She slept through the night (unusual for her at the time) and I went into her room in the morning to be confronted with a disgusting smell. When I turned the light on, she'd been sick in her sleep, and there was dried regurgitated weetabix encrusted everywhere - her face, hair, pjs, sheets, cot bars, wall...

It was days before I'd found every last bit and cleared the smell out of the room. And did I mention I'm emetophobic?

So the very worst bit of that stomach bug was later that morning. DD had eaten a single strawberry when she felt ill again. She is also petrified of being sick and will hold it back as long as possible, she has even thrown up through her nose before because she refused to open her mouth for it. Anyway, this time she was physically fighting it, trying to tip her head back to stop it coming out. I had her on my knee and was cuddling her and trying to tip her forward so she wouldn't choke on it. Then it started coming out and she kind of coughed and got me full in the face with bright pink vomit. My mum came in and said 'you've got sick on your face' so I said 'I know can I have a wipe please?'

Actually, that's really a kind of parenting high, that I didn't scream and chuck her off my knee in horror while I had a panic attack!