Parenting lows?

[WasabiPeace]

I think I've reached mine tonight.

Ds2 is three. Still in a pull up at night.

He pooed. In his pull up. This never happens. He came downstairs crying and wanted me to change him in my bedroom. He then had a major shitfit (pun intended) because I'd taken the poo away and he wanted to see his messy bum.

I'm tired. It's been a long week and a busy weekend so far. He was at fever pitch regarding the whole 'messy bum' thing.

So. I'm so sorry. But I wiped poo from the wet wipes back onto his bum. He did a brief squat and turn to the mirror, pronounced it a success, let me wipe his bum and re dress him and had gone back to bed.

HOW DID MY LIFE BECOME THIS?

Please tell me you have sunk lower than this? Please?

DS is only just reliably clean during the day - for a little while he would just hold his poo in until he couldn't hold it anymore then poo his pants (trying to sit him on the toilet just invoked temper tantrums of epic proportions).

This one time at band camp he hid himself away and pooed his pants. The action of him walking around moulded the poo into a perfect ball. When the smell reached me I popped him on the loo and rolled the ball into the pan.

It was so big it would not flush. It just sat there, all cannon ball like, blocking the toilet.

In desperation I unscrewed the shower head from the mixer tap shower thing and tried to jet the poo ball apart. It was like modelling clay in consistency and all the water jet did was bore little holes into it.

In the end I had to go and get a knife and cut the fucker apart. (Boak).

Parenting poo low.

lady

I have 2 - first one is shouting at ds ( then 6) as he told his nan on the phone that mummy was much better ( mummy had collapsed on the floor and was hospitalized later that day)
2nd one dd was then 8 I decided to tale the whole family to the beach , then to the cinema . DD usually loves the beach, but moaned that she didn't want to come. Her friend was playing out with her new bike, so I thought that's why she was being a pain............right up to the second she projectile vomited over dh- she has septic tonsillitis

My DD had a poo obsession when she was around 2. We were staying with my prim and proper inlaws for the first time and we were all sleeping over. When to check on her to be confronted with a poo covered cot, walls and DD. She had smeared the contents of a dirty nappy over her cot. Thankfully she has grown out of poo now and thinks it's disgusting but at the time I wanted to die

My 'poogate' story was when DS was 2. DH and I were making dinner and DS was watching cartoons - or so we thought. He was actually in the bathroom and was carefully putting an entire toilet roll down the toilet, sheet by sheet.

DH then went to the toilet and insists that, at this point, there was no evidence the toilet was blocked lying bastard.

This is where the story becomes 'poogate', because DH then did what people do on the toilet and, when he flushed it, the toilet nearly overflowed, log and all and it became very apparent that the toilet was completely blocked!

It was late on Saturday evening and we didn't have any drain rods (we do now!) and we live in the middle of nowhere, so we meaning I decided DH would unblock the toilet - seeing as it was his, erm, bodily functions swirling round the full bowl...

Alas that plan was scuppered as we only had 1 pair of waterproof gloves, and those gloves fitted - yes you guessed it - yours truly!

After I cleared the blockage, I sent DH and DS to the playroom and told them I did not want to see, or hear, from either of them until I'd reached the bottom of the wine bottle I decided to open to erase the memory!

My parenting low was popping to the loo in Morrisons shortly after DS was born. I used the disabled/baby change loo so I could fit the pram in, and DD (7) came in too.

I was having trouble doing... ahem... bowel movements at the time, being on iron tablets for a pph and anaemia. As I sat down, trousers and knickers around my knees, I realised my sanitary towel needed changing, so did DD!

She was so horrified at the sight, that she unlocked the door and ran out to stand near the lift until I was finished... I had to hurriedly try to get myself decent as other shoppers walked past the door DD had conveniently left swinging wide open.

I still feel bad for the stern telling off afterwards once we were as far away from the store as possible

Crying laughing, that is hilarious

I was in a friend's house, ds playing angelically; I was boasting full on that ds was fully potty trained and it had gone really well, although I did at least give credit where it was due to my mum who'd done most of it... I was just explaining how we'd done it, glanced at ds who was standing on one leg as a large sticky log dropped out of his shorts onto my friend's immaculate kitchen floor.

Hubris. Nemesis. Shit.

It's not quite up to these standards, but DD was climbing all over me on a packed train, then paused, looked me in the eye, and did 2 days worth of poo in her nappy. The whole carriage heard, it stank, and I wanted to cry as I pinned her down on the floor of the tiny gross train toilet to change her, her screaming and trying to get away as the train rattled about on the tracks.

Thought I'd better contribute some of mine. DD 11 months at the time (last summer) happily sat in the sun on the step outside our house whilst I was doing some washing up. I noticed she had gone rather quiet and popped my head out of the door to see what was going on. Low and behold, there she was, shitty nappy taken off and triumphantly trying failing to strap it back on to a pet lamb we had in the paddock. Shit everywhere! Also that time I caught her eating dead flies. BORK!

Another low I remember is changing DDs bedding on her cot and seeing a humongous spider tarantula crawling up the wall. I am absolutely petrified of spiders and screamed to DH for assistance. I was sat on the bed crying and shaking whilst DSD (4) rubbed my back saying "it's ok rose it's only a spider, calm down". I haven't lived that one down.

DS has special needs - autism and severe learning difficulties. He is 7 and only just out of nappies in the day, he wee's in the toilet put will poo his pants - sometimes he tries to dispose of it. We are like the bisto kids going round the house snifing the air and trying to find the poo. It has been on top of wardrobes, in cupboards stuck to the wall etc etc
On holiday in spain last year we had a private detched villa with a pool - one afternoon ds decided to throw the poo into the pool - we couldn't stop him in time, it was like slow motion as we watched the poo sink the the bottom. Having to dive in with a colander to remove it was not a high point of the holiday!!!!
(colander was binned and we replaced it with a new one).

There have been many poo related lows - scrubbing poo from textured wall paper was a memorable one.

I was determined to wait to wean my son until 6 months as I have multiple allergies and wanted to ensure I gave him the best chance of avoiding them. Not sure how it affects the guidance when your five month old self-weans on a live woodlouse...

Nothing especially dramatic but I remember several occasions being out in the dark, middle of the freezing night, scraping vomited satsuma segments off the bedding, before I could put it in the washing machine.

Ds1 was 3. We were living in a tiny house with a landline but no removable handset. We kinda bypassed the potty stage and went straight to the toilet

Anyway he'd just done a mahoosive poo in the toilet but before I could flush, the phone went - it's my new boss - hurrah!

I'm on the phone chatting about induction and trying to sound semi competent whilst semaphoring frantically at ds1 to flush the toilet.

He beams at me. He trots down the stairs and picks up a left over plate and disappears upstairs again.

I'm still there, talking about passport photos when he returns - this time for a plastic knife and fork!!

My phone cord is at full stretch by now as I talk about occupational health as he strides towards the stairs - I try unsuccessfully to leg him up en route but soon I hear him singing to himself with kitchen implements in hand and a u bend to attack.

Please flush the fucking toilet -I think to myself...

It's like being tortured by human resources and the toilet still hasn't flushed.

I make some excuse and manage to put the phone down then break the under 5 ft 4 mummy hurdles up the stairs. The toilet hasn't flushed but the poo has gone.

We never did find the missing poo.

Yup, sounds like a parenting win to me OP!

My lows have been many but the ones that stand out would be dc3 having yet another meltdown as we were walking with dc 1&2 to school. He was hysterical and did that going limp thing when I tried to get him to stand up. The only thing left to do was carry him sideways, like a screaming log, under my arm the rest of the way to school.

The 4 of us had a vomiting bug last year. My daughter is the queen of throwing up everywhere but the toilet and there was a trail of sick from her room to just outside the bathroom door. We were taking it in turns to puke/shit and I was doing my best to clean everything. I got to the last patch of sick on the landing and just could not do any more. So I got a towel out of the airing cupboard and covered it up and went back to bed.

Just thought of another one. In Tesco trying to grab a few bits with the kids. We were all tired and cranky. The kids were messing and I did that thing where you sort of try and hiss quietly "If you don't stop that bloody behaviour we're leaving without our shopping". I was trying to be discreet and menacing at the same time. I thought I had nailed it when my daughter piped up in her best loud school marmish voice "Right, I'm not doing anything if you are going to speak to me like that Mum"....cue 5 knowing faces staring at me. Cringe.

This thread is slaying me - it's amazing! And for the record OP, I'd have done the same.

My parenting low: DS had diarrhoea (caught from nursery, this was 6 months ago and he was 3) and for the first time was aware of it. I put him on the potty and the poor chap wasn't having a great time.

I had to crouch on the floor, holding his hand as he strained away, for 20 minutes. Once he was done he looked into the potty and said, 'it looks like your food mummy!'

Also the time he had been sick into the night and we were up making sure he was ok, hydrated etc. Another bloody bug from nursery. At approx 5.30am he came into our bed. We were so exhausted we didn't realise until 8am that he had been sick (very quietly...) in the bed, and had then gone to sleep. My entire chest was covered in dry vom. Many showers and lots of laundry that day... DS was absolutely fine, I should add.

Mine aren't poo related.

1. accidentally sending dd1 into preschool with a very sharp serrated knife in her lunch box (was being a bit absent minded whilst doing her lunch). The lady who ran pre school wasn't best pleased.

2. about 6 years later, accidentally putting a can of cider in dd1's lunch box instead of a capri sun. Luckily I realised the error of my ways when I thought it felt a bit heavy on the way out to the car. I dread to think of the school's reaction if dd age 8 had cracked open a strongbow in the dinner hall.

3. more recently, one of my e cigarettes went missing for a couple of days. dd2 pulled it out of her peppa pig rucksack when she got home from school one day, saying she had found it in there at break time. 'Umm, did the teachers see it?' I asked nervously. She looked at me like I was mad and said 'noooooo! They might have thought it was theirs!'. Phew. Good dd2.

I probably shouldn't have kids, should I?

Just in this last week we might have reached a new low. DS3 (9 months) managed to pass on a, thankfully brief, but pretty yucky vomiting bug to everyone else in the house.

Middle of the night, and I'm in baby's room feeding DS3. DH in bigger kids' room, having crawled into bottom bunk with DS1 who wanted a cuddle after his umpteenth dash to the toilet to be sick. Everyone finally dozing off when DS2 in top bunk projectile vomits in every possible direction. DH and I clean him up, comfort him and he comes back to bed with me, while DH gets back into bottom bunk with DS1. Where he spends the rest of night dimly aware, yet too exhausted and unwell to care enough to do anything about it, that the drops of liquid splashing his head at regular intervals throughout the night are in fact droplets of DS2's vomit.

Shudder. Boak. Shudder. Ad infinitum.

I've been vomited on 3 times today by my 17 month old. I've done many wash loads, given 3 baths and cleaned sofas, carpets and floors. I'm using annual leave tomorrow because I need the money. Sigh. I stink of sick.

She's slept on the sofa with her head in my lap (never happens). Poor girl.

My heart goes out to all of you.

This is probably not my ultimate parenting low but I get a cold wibbly flush in my cheeks still when I think about it. dd2 (about 6 months) was in the push chair and dd1 (about 2.5) was walking and suddenly just decided she was too tired to go any further (probably suddenly noticed that the baby was sitting down). I had forgotten to pack the sling for dd2 so just tried to jolly her along back to the car. It wasn't working. "come on dd," I said cheerfully, "let's just push on, or we could die out here!" She bawled "NO MUMMY DON'T MAKE ME DIE NO MUMMY NO I DON'T WANT TO DIE" while a constant stream of passers by turned to me in horror

Like Mrsfrumble, we had daily inspections of each day's new offering. My DC (thankfully now hulking teenagers and (mostly) grown out of the game) liked to check to see what letter of the alphabet their (OK...yes...and mine) poo had produced. See-educational too!

I'm sorry OP I know you're exhausted but......I did giggle when I read your post!

Not a parenting low at all, you sound lovely, don't sweat it

Littlefluffy and that proper made me laugh out loud!