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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

See all MNHQ comments on this thread

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Original poster

many people here have no idea what it's like to have money worries

137 replies

suzzieanneba46 · 07/03/2015 08:47

There seems to be a huge divide on here with many clearly having no clue what its like to have money problems. I do ok, I manage a good life but all it takes is a few bad events and my finances are in tatters. Loads of people that suggested I shouldn't fly because I wanted to save some money by avoiding ridiculous airport parking fees. When you have been forced to start putting everything on a credit card and know you won't be able to pay it off for months and will have to pay eye watering interest, then yes 50 pounds is a lot of money!

OP posts:

ghostyslovesheep · 07/03/2015 11:25

OP I'd have more sympathy if you didn't start goady threads about buying naice pasta for the poor and paying £44 for gym membership

you seem to like causing a stir - which is unusual for such a new member

SnottyCowbag · 07/03/2015 11:26

I'm sorry too Iona It was destined to be a bit of a bunfight'y thread but I should know better really

Now what about a hide poster function?

Slippersandacuppa · 07/03/2015 11:28

And there are many who do.

Does that make some better than others?

53Dragon · 07/03/2015 11:31

By the way, not wanting to pay for expensive airport parking doesn't count as having 'money worries'! Ridiculous.

aphrodites · 07/03/2015 11:32

Perhaps I'm being obtuse but isn't it all circumstantial and part spending habit? if £50 is all you have then it makes sense that for you it's a lot, for someone else that might be a small percentage of their disposable income.

Are you begrudging people that so far have not fallen on hard times and/or made decisions that have made falling into poverty harder?

Reading through this thread it seems to have turned into the four Yorkshire men.

NerrSnerr · 07/03/2015 11:33

I can imagine someone starting a thread saying 'Aibu to think that people who spend £44 on gym membership, eat out and only buy posh stuff for the food bank have no idea about money troubles?'

Penguinotterfoxbadger · 07/03/2015 11:36

What is TAAT?

Thanks

ilovesooty · 07/03/2015 11:38

Thread about a thread.

Fairylea · 07/03/2015 11:43

There's a huge section of mumsnet in serious debt. Check out the money matters board. Some people are literally on the breadline. It's not true that mumsnet is all full of wealthy people. I live in a house that doesn't have any working lights upstairs as we have major problems with damp that we remortgaged to fix and now we can't afford to do anymore. We cannot sell either (no market and would lose half the value at present state). We are living on dhs wage of 15k and have two children. We are both looking for more work but in our area there isn't anything and dhs hours are very erratic meaning I can't work evenings or weekends as we can't afford childcare and we have absolutely no family support.

I'm sorry for what you're going through. I really am. But even if my mum passed away in another country at the moment there is absolutely no way whatsoever I could afford to get there. I have literally £5 left of my overdraft until next week and then I will only have £30 for next week. It's a real mess. We can't borrow any more money. At all.

Having money struggles is truly awful.

Starlightbright1 · 07/03/2015 11:44

I have read bits of your posts.

I can say from the sounds of it you don't know what it like not to have money for food, to have to make the choice between heat or food. I have never been in the position and don't think I anyone who hasn't been there knows what its like. I have lived on benefits and known what it is like though to have to watch every penny.

I read the first few posts of airport parking and assumed it was a holiday.

Of course there will be some people on here who £50 will be like pocket money but also people who couldn't find the money for a flight no matter what.

Most people make savings one way or another whether it is the brand down challenge , walking more, changing electric companies....But if you are going to ask for opinions on Mumsnet you are going to a cross section of opinions ..If you want someone to just validate your opinion on everything Mumsnet is really not the place to post

ilovesooty · 07/03/2015 11:45

Fairylea I'm really sorry to hear that. Sadly you're right - there are many posters with money troubles.

turquoiseamethyst · 07/03/2015 11:51

I'm sorry fairy I am probably guilty of this but I'm really awful with money, I just don't understand it. My 8 year old has to do maths for me as I cant.

I have twice started a thread on money matters and wimped out I do think some people (including me!) GENUINELY don't know where to start. Other people have literally always managed my money for me.

TheoriginalLEM · 07/03/2015 11:53

Well, we got ourselves into credit card debt and it has ruined our lives, it was so so easy - we wasn't extravagant, we used them to live on when DP had to have so much time off work to take care of me and DD2 when i was poorly. We also wasn't told about various benefits we were entitled to. So not everyone who is in debt gets there because they are shit with money - I am not saying we didn't make some really bad decisions (like remortgaging to get out of the hole when what the bank really should have done was pointed us in the direction of a debt management company).

I don't know about the OP's situation but i agree with the statement that some people really have no idea! We have had to cash in pennies at one of those supermarket things to buy food for the week and had to borrow and beg, we've had bailifs and court orders to deal with, resulting in me now suffering from an anxiety disorder and on medication. Yet i appreciate that there are people in far worse positions than we are or have been. Then I have to listen to clients trying to negotiate a good price on a job because they have "no money" and its "so hard" I even had one woman moaning about the price of a bag of potatos to feed her four children when she was having a major refurb of her house and having a naice log burner fitted for £££'s. Those are the people who have no idea.

Even me, with our considerable financial problems I have no idea - my children have never gone hungry, they are clothed and happy - some mothers have to watch their children die of starvation and send them off to work in sweat shops instead of going to school - so next time you can't afford the parking fees at the airport or the latest round of home improvements eats into your rainy day fund, think on.We are all guilty of it.

ragged · 07/03/2015 11:54

tbh, re the car, I couldn't believe the aggression about you parking a legally taxed car in a legal way on the public road. That blew my mind. It's also sad that some folk don't realise the value of 50 quid. But I didn't understand why you asked. Just do it.

ilovesooty · 07/03/2015 12:03

She was always going to do it anyway I imagine.

Fairylea · 07/03/2015 12:05

Turquoise please don't feel bad. I was the same as you when my now ex dh left. He left me with 26k of debt and I was made redundant at the same time and everything was overwhelming. It took me a while to get my head round it all. Finding out what's going in and out is a massive start. You'll get there.

ilovesooty · 07/03/2015 12:12

I must post on Money Matters. I read it a lot and it inspires me and helps me to keep going as I'm slowly but surely repaying massive debts after my divorce. I know I was responsible for them and I stuck my head on the sand for too long but the posters on that forum do seem so supportive.

Fairylea · 07/03/2015 12:15

I love sooty - you should definitely come over. It's a lovely bunch of people. No one judges. It's my favourite part of mumsnet.

ilovesooty · 07/03/2015 12:17

Think I must Fairylea I've been holding back but it does seem lovely over there. Thanks.

UpMyOwnArseMoneyFlinger · 07/03/2015 12:46

Why is this complete and utter TAAT still going? The moderation on Mumsnet is just so inconsistent.

Viviennemary · 07/03/2015 12:55

We've gone through periods when we've been quite hard up but have managed by not buying anything but essentials. But I agree that some people literally do live hand to mouth and they can't cut back further and still can't pay their bills. This mght be because wrong choices were made which in hindsight were a mistake. I think it's comparatively easy to get through a short period of financial difficulty but when it goes on for years that's dreadful.

caryam · 07/03/2015 13:11

I do think there are some people on here who seem to have no understanding of financial realities for others. I have read comments where whenever anyone complains about others behaviour on buses, trains, etc, the answer is that they should travel first class or buy a car.

ilovesooty · 07/03/2015 13:17

Or to continue the theme of this thread, buy a house with off road parking if you don't want to struggle with parking on the street.

Dawndonnaagain · 07/03/2015 13:38

poor people can't buy, tax, or run a car
We are on benefits for various reasons. We have a car. It's a motability car. It works out cheaper for us to hand over the motability component rather than pay for taxis etc because we are rural. We are bloody poor.

caryam · 07/03/2015 13:48

Many poor people can't afford to run a car. If you have motability, having a car often makes financial sense.
Both my partner and I work, we can only afford to run one car.

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