To ask what was that worst wedding gift you received? (lighthearted)

[Miracularity]

Yes, yes, yes, we must be grateful for all gifts, etc., BUT - what was the worst gift?

I don't know why I suddenly thought of this because I got married ten years ago! But the worst gift we received on the day was a box of chocolates. That were an old brand, five years out of date and hadn't even been manufactured for three years.

(The gift-giver was not old, ill, infirm, poor or mentally unwell. They were well known for being mean - in fact in our family they were known as Meano Mary. And she certainly lived up to her name that day.)

Nothing from maid of honour, my 'best' friend from school who was toxic at the best of times but I found out that she was slagging me off on my wedding day, saying I stole her 'husband' (backstory, I did no such thing, she went on one blind date with DH when we were both late teens; was a complete and utter disaster, he thought she was insane and full of herself, she thought he was stupid because he didn't fawn over her like she thought he should. I met him a year later, the rest is history). In fact she did me a favour that day as I gained the best gift ever- I finally realised she had never been a good friend, just someone I'd known for a long time and dropped her out of my life from there on.

Close second was a Tesvo value toaster from my very wealthy, private jet owning, multiple homes in three continents uncle and his third wife. Apparently, she chose the gift. My mother hit the roof and called him out on it. A check for £5k arrived in the post when DD was born so I guess he made up for it in the end??

My funniest one was a present I never even got. I had put lots of garden related stuff on our wedding list including a wicker tripod thing for growing sweet peas/runner beans up.

My DM bought it for us, but had it delivered to her own address instead of ours, and then decided it was too big to bring down on the train to give to us.

So she gave it away to someone else (!!!) and said 'I'll buy you another some time' and never did. Still, she's my mum and I love her , but I just wish she'd thought about it first and had the damn thing sent direct to me!

This weird book. I've photographed it next to the waste paper bin I wish it would fit in for scale. No rhyme or reason to it and it's been sitting in a corner of our bedroom for the past 6 years.

OMG I've just googled it and it is an £895 limited edition found here!!!

Wow! Amazing book, lucky you.

I so want that book

Put it on EBay so I can buy it !

A nose hair trimmer.

An ugly stuffed bird.

A box of tissues.

Loving the RAF print, rugby dvd and wooden spoon stories!

We unwrapped a present off DH's cousin- it was an Argos value vacuum cleaner. Put it in the spare bedroom and didn't think anything of it until about a month later when we saw said cousin (she lives far away) and said "thanks for the vacuum cleaner" to which she replied "didn't you open the box? It's full of towels". Oops. We got home, opened the box and it was full of pale pink towels for me and poo brown towels for DH. Why neither of us noticed how light the box was I have no idea.

A dusty, chipped and quite obviously used vase from one of DH's family. It's vile and under the sink.

About 10 cheap and tacky plastic Mr & Mrs photo frames from various people (luckily most of them were part of a present).

Some very weird mugs that are still in the box and on top on the kitchen cupboards.

And nothing at all- not even a card from DH's cousin who wasn't invited to the wedding breakfast but came anyway, various random members of his extended family or my extremely loaded step-brother who left the church during the service to go and buy himself a pasty.

Mamazilla, that is an amazing gift. You should appreciate it!

A two-ring tabletop mini cooker.

I have no idea why this should be something we'd want. We have a kitchen with a, you know, normal sized cooker. We don't camp, or have a caravan.

Straight to eBay it went.

box of sex toys

We got an ainsley butterfly peanut dish. Sadly it's no longer with us.

My godfather ate his dinner then sat beside me to write a cheque.
He had intended to give £40 but gave £50 as we had served lamb and not Turkey .

My maid of honor, her husband and her mother (all of whom came to the entire wedding) clubbed together and bought us...a cheap hand mixer.

(Same maid of honor who, when I asked her if she could return to me the bridesmaid dress that I'd paid for, so I could sell it with the other one, asked for me to reimburse her 4 quid for the cost of posting the dress to me, and nine quid for the cost of the alterations. But that's a post for another thread.)

I was actually quite disappointed surprised how many people didn't bother to get us anything, not even a card in some cases.

SlightlyJaded I'd have been really hurt at that, too.

One single tea light. Wrapped.

peso I think our dh's may have friends in common, we received 5 tesco value sandwich. Toasters which they had drawn all over the boxes so no hope of returning!

And I know they gave a previous couple 5 toasters!

We got a book entitled 'Communication - the key to your marriage'. Nearly 18 years on the clock and we've never opened it. I'm saving it for when things get really bad

Oh lord...

I'm getting married this yeah. DP and I have a tiny flat and no space... And no gift list as yet... Kinda need money to buy a house not Tesco toasters but don't want to do a horrid poem...

MIL said she'd get us a dinner set and told me to pick one out, when I went to pay for it she gave us a wedding card with £20 in it.....I had to pay the rest to save me from the total embarrassment of the staff knowing what was going on, as I had ordered some of it and they had held it aside, knowing it was a wedding gift from MIL and FIL

bloody cow..there weren't many tears at her funeral.

We had a few absolutely lovely things - a party, a honeymoon, some bits of silver...

But I'm slightly at the number of people who have said "now you must send me your address as I have something very special to send you as a wedding present" and then nothing has turned up... and then they've said it again when we've next seen them... and their embarrassed husband has said it again on a subsequent meeting... and we have quietly let it drop...

These are also people we have known for many years, known very well, and to whom we gave seriously nice, and seriously expensive wedding presents... and they clearly also really liked our wedding presents!

Whiskey glasses, which have been in the attic since we got them

One of these candles -

only the bride had no head and the groom was very much a different nationality to my pasty faced DH - and then the giver got all upset we didn't "light it from the bride and groom candles" something to do with a native American unity candle ceremony...

a pair of champagne glasses with "Bride" and "Groom" etched on them. looked so tacky.
we gave them to BIL& SIL to use on their wedding day who liked tacky things

we also got a juicer, where you just cut an orange in half , put it in the top but, pull arm down & hey presto fresh juice. great idea!
apart from it being a really crap or faulty "specimen", arm broke off on first try

vlad's legless table has to be the winner

What were the MIL and the EXW thinking re the silk underwear, totally bizarre!

the MIL was being a cheap bitch. The EXW was laughing at having escaped, and glad to let you know what you were in for! I discarded every bit of nightwear and cute underwear sets that i had ever been meant to entice my ex. If I had a fireplace, I would have burnt them.